What to talk about with co-workers?

  • Context: Job Skills 
  • Thread starter Thread starter shivajikobardan
  • Start date Start date
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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around strategies for initiating and maintaining conversations with co-workers, particularly in a context where participants feel they lack interesting experiences or conversational skills. The scope includes personal anecdotes, suggestions for conversation starters, and considerations of cultural and social dynamics in communication.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • One participant expresses a desire to improve conversational skills but feels their life is boring and lacks experiences to share.
  • Another participant questions the notion of a boring life and suggests exploring non-science hobbies to enrich conversation topics.
  • Some participants propose that asking co-workers about their experiences can be a good way to engage in conversation.
  • There are suggestions for courses or resources to improve conversational skills, including tailored lessons for ESL learners focusing on casual conversation.
  • One participant advises against initiating conversations unless there is genuine curiosity, suggesting it may be better to let others lead discussions.
  • Several participants discuss the idea of using current events or popular media as conversation starters, though this raises concerns about honesty and the potential for contentious discussions.
  • There is a debate about the effectiveness and ethics of agreeing with others' views for the sake of conversation, with some participants expressing discomfort with this approach.
  • One participant highlights the importance of understanding cultural differences in conversation styles as a key factor in effective communication.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants do not reach a consensus on the best approach to initiating conversations. There are multiple competing views on whether to focus on personal experiences, current events, or the importance of honesty in discussions.

Contextual Notes

Some participants note the potential for conversations to become distracting or lead to contentious topics, particularly when discussing political or social issues. There is also mention of cultural factors influencing conversation styles, which may vary significantly among individuals.

Who May Find This Useful

This discussion may be useful for individuals seeking to improve their conversational skills in professional settings, particularly those who feel they lack engaging topics or experiences to share.

  • #31
austinuni said:
You are more likely to receive help from co-workers if they sense that you would be able to help them in return.

If you are always asking for help from your co-workers, and never help them in return, then eventually they will stop helping you, even if you are friends and socialize all the time.

Professional success depends far more on the give-and-take dynamic than friendship and socializing with co-workers.
(I) Well, in your scenario:

(1) A is capable of providing help to B;
(2) B is capable of providing help to A (at least to about the same degree);
(3) A and B have established a pattern in which:
(a) B repeatedly requests help from A; and, in response, A repeatedly provides help to B;
AND
(b) A repeatedly requests help from B; and, in response, B never provides help to A.

So, of course, A gets fed up with B, and stops providing any further help to B. This is an understandable and natural outcome, regardless of any social relationship between A and B.

(II) But consider this scenario:

(1) A is capable of providing help to B;
(2) B is capable of providing help to A (at least to about the same degree);
(3) A and B have not yet established a pattern.

E.g., A and B are both seasoned engineers. B's department has recently folded; and B has transferred to A's department. A and B have never worked on a project together before. B requests help from A for the first time. Now, is A more likely to provide help to B if (i) A knows B socially, and A likes B; (ii) A does not know B socially; or (iii) A knows B socially, and A does not like B?

(III) Also consider this scenario:

(1) A is capable of providing help to B;
(2) B is not capable of providing help to A (at least to about the same degree).

E.g., A is a senior researcher; B is a secretary in another department which is slated to close. A has no expectation of a quid pro quo from B. Is A more likely to provide help to B upon a request from B for help (or, better still, is A more likely to volunteer help to B without an explicit request from B for help) if (i) A knows B socially, and A likes B; (ii) A does not know B socially; or (iii) A knows B socially, and A does not like B?
 
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