I know that this is about the hundredth topic I've made about this, but...

  • #1
Eclair_de_XII
1,083
91
t I'm feeling lost.

Currently, I'm trying to learn how to do web-development stuff in Python, so that I can have a project to show-off to prospective employers. I'm also aware that I may be deluding myself into thinking that one project is all it takes to get noticed. Moreover, I just lack web-development skills in general, having never been schooled in the topic, formally or otherwise. I haven't been making much progress on the project, sadly, due to the fact that I've been busy in the past month trying to move into a new apartment.

Moving into an apartment of my own was one of my goals when I was still in college. But now that I've done it --- not out of a desire to achieve the goal, but out of necessity, because my previous landlords were insufferable --- it just feels sort of underwhelming. I had always been under the impression that I needed a respectable job in order to live a modest but comfortable life; yet, I've achieved the latter without really following through with the former. So now, I cannot see point in pursuing programming work, besides the increase in salary, and the desire to transfer to a more satisfying job, since my current one is stagnant and boring.

My desire to get away from a bad place was the primary motivation in my moving away from my family a year ago, and my moving away from my landlords a month ago. Alone, it just doesn't suffice as a valid reason, I should think. Ideally, my motivation should consist of wanting to go somewhere, instead of trying to get away from someplace else, if that makes sense.

Anyway, now I'm not so sure about pursuing programming work. I'm not quite sure I'm cut out for it. That said, I definitely do want to finish that project I've been putting on the figurative back-burner; but doing it in order to advertise myself to employers drains all the fun of doing it.

I don't really know what I want anymore. Nothing really interests me. Nothing is really fun anymore. Most of the time, everything "feels" unpleasantly like background noise. Internet-goers seem to make grammatical and spelling errors too frequently for me to take them seriously; when they do this on official documents and stuff of that nature, it bums me out. Right now, I'm trying to figure out if Linguistics is a viable academic pursuit, or if it just another hollow reason for me to be in a classroom again. But I digress; it is not like I can afford to be in college right now.
 
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  • #2
Yes, this is like the 100th thread you've posted on it.

My advice is a two-step process.

Step 1 is to make a table (the little tic-tac-toe icon), In the left column, place all the advice you got in previous threads. In the right, write "yes" or "no" depending on whether you have followed it or not.

Step 2 is to look at all the "no" entries in the right column, and then go do what it says in the left column.
 
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  • #3
Eclair_de_XII said:
I should think. Ideally, my motivation should consist of wanting to go somewhere, instead of trying to get away from someplace else, if that makes sense.
Yes, for sure, both that it makes sense and going somewhere is a MUCH healthier, and more helpful, goal than running away from something/anything.
Eclair_de_XII said:
Internet-goers seem to make grammatical and spelling errors too frequently for me to take them seriously
Sadly, that is only going to get worse over time. Young people these days do not, for the most part, care at all about grammar. I even hear MOST --- not a few, not a minority, but MOST of the talking heads on TV below the age of 40 or so use egregiously poor grammar, most specifically in their utter inability to use pronouns correctly. Words are the fundamental tool of "Reporters" (if one can really so describe TV talking heads) and if THEY don't care about it it's a lost cause.

Now, to be fair, it is almost always completely clear what people are saying even when they say it with a complete lack of understanding of correct English, but it still is very obnoxious to those few of us who do care about it.
 
  • #4
Eclair_de_XII said:
Ideally, my motivation should consist of wanting to go somewhere, instead of trying to get away from someplace else, if that makes sense.
Wanting to get away from a situation that you have determined is bad for you is a very common motivation for moving, and there is nothing wrong with it. You can't always expect to find a new situation that is ideal. If it's better than where you were before, that's an improvement.

Also, you don't have to stay in your current situation forever; there's nothing wrong with moving again in the future if you find something better.

Eclair_de_XII said:
the desire to transfer to a more satisfying job, since my current one is stagnant and boring
Many people have day jobs that pay the bills but don't really fulfill them, and then use their free time to pursue something else. There's nothing wrong with that.

Eclair_de_XII said:
I definitely do want to finish that project I've been putting on the figurative back-burner; but doing it in order to advertise myself to employers drains all the fun of doing it.
You might try just doing it for fun and not even worrying about whether it will help in advertising yourself to potential employers. Programming doesn't have to be a job; many people (including me) have done a lot of programming that was never intended for anything except our own enjoyment.
 
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  • #5
I really, really think you should see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. You'll almost certainly get much better help from 1) a professional and 2) someone you cant talk to face-to-face instead of through text.
 
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  • #6
Eclair_de_XII
You have a stable job?
You have a place to dwell that you can afford with no trouble?
If "yes" to both, then GOOD! If you have some leisure time regularly, then you may choose programming as a hobby.
 
  • #7
phinds said:
Words are the fundamental tool of "Reporters" (if one can really so describe TV talking heads) and if THEY don't care about it it's a lost cause.
I feel like the media and the Internet allow bad language use to propagate like it is some sort of contagion. It's made worse by the fact that the Internet not only tolerates it, but even encourages it sometimes.

PeterDonis said:
You might try just doing it for fun and not even worrying about whether it will help in advertising yourself to potential employers. Programming doesn't have to be a job; many people (including me) have done a lot of programming that was never intended for anything except our own enjoyment.
Yeah. I think that would be best. I've come to realize how much time I have left, now that I'm swamped with chores that I had never had to do before. It would be best to enjoy as much of it as possible. That being said, there's not much I really enjoy anymore.

symbolipoint said:
If "yes" to both, then GOOD! If you have some leisure time regularly, then you may choose programming as a hobby.
It's weird. I never thought I'd arrive at my destination so soon. Now that I have, I don't know where to go next. I'm also afraid that if I don't act right now, I may grow too comfortable, and stay where I am right now for longer than I had liked. That's why I feel so flustered trying to enter a career that not only am I ill-prepared for, but one that I am not so sure suits me.

Drakkith said:
professional
I have issues opening up to people. I wouldn't know how to describe my rather poor childhood, and how it's affected me. I wouldn't know how to describe my current dilemma.
 
  • #8
Eclair_de_XII said:
I have issues opening up to people. I wouldn't know how to describe my rather poor childhood, and how it's affected me. I wouldn't know how to describe my current dilemma.
You have a dilemma? Are you sure? Have you a secure job? Are you comfortably paid for your job? Will you miss opportunities to learn your job better if you stay in it?

Anything else may depend on how much and how regular is your leisure time.
 
  • #9
symbolipoint said:
Have you a secure job? Are you comfortably paid for your job?
Yes to both. But I still feel unfulfilled for some reason. I may have leisure time, but it's not like I can ever think of anything to do with that leisure time, besides feel too tired and unmotivated to commit myself to the two projects that I've been working on for some time.
 
  • #10
Eclair_de_XII said:
I have issues opening up to people. I wouldn't know how to describe my rather poor childhood, and how it's affected me. I wouldn't know how to describe my current dilemma.
Have you tried before?
 
  • #11
Eclair_de_XII said:
I have issues opening up to people. I wouldn't know how to describe my rather poor childhood, and how it's affected me. I wouldn't know how to describe my current dilemma.
Professional therapists are used to dealing with these things, since they are true for pretty much all of their clients.
 
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