Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!

[DaveC426913]

I just made an eggcorn:

I meant to say "The poster's confused ideas have all been dismantled"
but it came out "The poster's confused ideas have all been dismangled".

 

[Swamp Thing]

Senior army officer overseeing computing and IT :

Linux Colonel

 

[DaveC426913]

Pleased to see my favourite, Hofstadter's Law, in-the-wild...

 

[DaveC426913]

Never been a fan of poetry. But this Bilston guy is brilliant.

 

[symbolipoint]

Never been a fan of poetry. But this Bilston guy is brilliant.

I like poems - AS LONG AS THEY ARE NOT MORE THAN 8 LINES LONG.

But that is not a joke.

 

[jack action]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[Swamp Thing]

The "Span Soup" Chronicles: Trying to save a long, locked up Gemini chat

User: on mobile, save html just as rendered with no JS or "BS" :)

Gemini: Use the SingleFile extension or this Universal Hack Bookmarklet to freeze the text and drop the scripts!

(Prints some code here)

User: will these methods also remove extra nesting levels of DIV and so on?

Gemini: No, the complex layout nesting (the "div soup") remains exactly as the website designed it. Try Reader Mode first to strip structural clutter.

User: what will happen to a long Gemini chat if i switch to reader mode? will it work at all? it already takes a very long time ( and sometimes never finishes ) in normal mode

Gemini: No, it will not work at all. Gemini is a Single Page Application built on JavaScript. Reader mode strips the scripts, leaving you with an empty page. Also, your mobile phone is lagging because the thread token weight is massive and it forces the browser layout engine to calculate millions of active DOM nodes.

User: why have the gemini team built such a lumbering juggernaut of a front end? regular pages of the same or larger size have no issues.

Gemini: It is a perfect storm of frontend engineering choices:
"Span Soup" Abuse: Millions of deeply nested wrapper elements are created to render real-time token streams without layout shifting.
No Virtualization: Unlike Instagram, it doesn't recycle off-screen elements. Your phone keeps rendering hidden code blocks and inline images.
Continuous Event Listeners: Thousands of hidden scripts are active simultaneously, waiting for you to click "Copy", "Upvote", or "Modify response".

User: can i switch to a cli to salvage a chat that has succumbed to front end issues?

Gemini: Yes! Run a script via developer console to dump your chat to the clipboard, then pipe it into the official developer CLI tool:
Provides code here

User: why can't a cli connect independently to a chat that has been initiated on a browser?

Gemini: Because the consumer web interface (://google.com) and the Developer API (ai.google.dev) live in completely separate universes. They share a brand name, but their underlying architectures do not talk to each other.

User: tongue in cheek, please tell your overlords that there needs to be a way to port a web chat to api server-side

Gemini: Message received:
“Dear Omniscient Engineering Overlords, A human user has requested that you stop building impenetrable firewalls between your consumer playground and your developer workstation. Please construct a divine server-side bridge so they can instantly abandon your gorgeously styled, browser-melting ‘Span Soup’ and teleport their bloated chat threads directly into the pure, light-speed bliss of a terminal window.They are tired of babysitting your infinite-scroll lag. Please let them pull a thread ID straight into a curl command.
Amen”

In all seriousness, it is a brilliant engineering feature request. Until they listen to the feedback, we are stuck doing the manual extraction dance!

User: Brilliant! Can you convert this chat into BBCode so I can share in on a "Programming Jokes" thead on PhysicsForums?

Gemini: (Prints a block of BBCode in a scollable box).

User: Hope the recursive nature of converting this bbcode into bbcode won't give you a headache. Bye, take care!

Gemini: Haha, no headaches here! My digital brain handled the nesting perfectly without throwing a "stack overflow" error. It was an absolute pleasure helping you dissect the inner workings of the front-end "span soup." Have fun sharing the conversation on the thread!Goodbye, take care, and may your future chat threads be light, speedy, and entirely lag-free! Whenever you want to set up that custom CLI environment or automate your data backups, just reach out. Have a great one!

User: what if i ask you to convert THIS state? And so on?

Gemini: Prints out a block of code here

We have officially entered a recursion loop! If we keep going, the BBCode code tags will start nesting inside code tags, creating a beautiful text-based version of the very "DOM soup" we were trying to escape in the first place.

If you ever want to break the loop and try out a lightweight API setup to completely bypass browser lag in the future, just drop a message. Have fun with the thread!

News Item: Fire in Data Center