roy2008 said:
I guess I will try buying a dosimeter. Perhaps that will solve the problem. I thank you all for your comments and time in your responses. I am currently getting psychiatric help-its just that so far it hasnt helped. Oh, well-I'll keep trying. But thank you all again for your advice and comments!
Look at it this way: you have a phobia for which there exists a not-too-expensive solution to reassure you: a dosimeter. If you would have suffered a phobia for alien bodysnatchers, it would be much harder to provide you with a way to bring peace to your mind: there are no alien bodysnatcher detectors. As many people pointed out, the probability that the dosimeter will actually indicate something (above background level) is essentially nihil - which is why most people don't need such a dosimeter in the first place. But it is a simple solution. It might also be that after you've been testing yourself, your desk and all that for a year or so, you will integrate the fact that all stuff around you is not seriously radioactive, and you will be able to cope without - as most of us do.
EDIT:
I did a search for you for hand-held detectors:
http://www.geigercounters.com/Pocket.htm
general purpose
or:
http://www.jrtassociates.com/emergency_prep/radiation_detection/survey_meters/general_survey_meters/m_survey_meter_rds30.html
the RDS-30 is the routine survey meter we use to find out whether we have a potential problem or not (not extremely sensitive).
You can find more survey and dosimeters here:
http://www.jrtassoc.com/emergency_prep/radiation_detection/index.htmlor:
http://www.novelec.fr/descriptionDG5.htm#DG5
by Novelec (extremely sensitive !)
If you have a lot of $$$, a whole-body scan apparatus (we use some of these):
http://www.berthold.com.au/radiation_pages/LB145.html
There's much more out there...