Are You Tired of Being the Go-To Friend for Relationship Problems?

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The discussion revolves around the frustrations of being the go-to friend for advice on romantic interests, particularly from women who do not reciprocate feelings. The main points highlight the challenges of being perceived as just a friend rather than a potential romantic partner. Participants emphasize the importance of expressing interest early on to avoid falling into the "friend zone." They suggest that being overly nice can lead to being overlooked, as many women are drawn to more assertive or "jerk" types. The conversation also touches on the need for men to show confidence and make their intentions clear, rather than solely providing emotional support. Ultimately, the consensus is that a shift in attitude—balancing kindness with assertiveness—can improve romantic prospects.
  • #31
Lisa! said:
Actually I don't think women break to tears because they want to take advantages of others especially men. You know women are weaker than men and they want to get rid of negative feelings by crying.

Physically, guys are stronger. But in relationships, guess who gets rid of the guy 90 percent of the time? you're not the weaker sex.
 
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  • #32
jhe1984 said:
yeah - it's not necessarily being rude. it's acting like you couldn't give a damn (or simply not giving a damn).

but yeah, I've got the shirt too. the good news is it comes in a lot of sizes and colors.
That shirt comes in women's sizes too. In high school, all the guys I had crushes on would come to me for advice about the girls they wanted to date...of course that was never me. :frown:
 
  • #33
Moonbear said:
That shirt comes in women's sizes too. In high school, all the guys I had crushes on would come to me for advice about the girls they wanted to date...of course that was never me. :frown:

Uhh that sucks :frown: . BTW, in my high school class we didn't have ANY girls, so none was dissappointed. :biggrin:
 
  • #34
Igor_S said:
Uhh that sucks :frown: . BTW, in my high school class we didn't have ANY girls, so none was dissappointed. :biggrin:
your classmates weren't suffering from depression?:-p
 
  • #35
franznietzsche said:
Pulling that kind of crap is a one way ticket out of my life. I can't stand it when women try that. Oh, and the "If you don't know what's wrong, I'm not going to tell you because you should know"? Yeah, good bye and good riddance. I'm so sick of that kind of juvenile behavoir, I have better things to do than waste my time dealing with it.
Oh my god I hate that! I'm always like what the ****!?? Tell me what I did wrong so I can say I'm sorry!

Igor_S said:
Uhh that sucks :frown: . BTW, in my high school class we didn't have ANY girls, so none was dissappointed. :biggrin:
Yeah, you had to settle for the transvestites.
 
  • #36
judi6070 said:
Girls (well me at least) like to know that they have someone that they can talk to. Yes, we do have girlfriends for that, but sometimes you just can't talk to girls. Sometimes it is just easier to talk to guys. Guys are definitely easier to live with sometimes.

Yeah i admit that I am an emotional person, but if I am crying, its usually for a very good reason. Not all girls use the waterworks as a manipulation tool!


I've never met one that hasn't used them. Or worse. But I'm terribly jaded and bitter. Don't listen to me.

MK said:
Oh my god I hate that! I'm always like what the ****!?? Tell me what I did wrong so I can say I'm sorry!

I now default to the interpretation that when they pull that crap, I haven't done anything wrong, rather they've done something wrong and are trying to cover it up by putting me on the defensive. Which gets them a quick boot out the door. I have no patience or tolerance for people anymore. No wonder I'm single.
 
  • #37
Call me a bully, but making girls cry is great. Especially if you can stay level headed. There was a lot of satisfaction when I argued with my then girlfriend and she cried. And when I broke up with her.

"Frankly my dear, I don't care about you".

Oh yes, how smooth am I? :biggrin:

However when women cry for another reason, it is SO frustrating.

Anyway, deja vu anyone? This reminds me of a thread a LONG time ago :-p
 
  • #38
Geez! we were here to help this guy and now we are only talking about our own concerns! Not bad anyway since it teaches him how to be jerk!:wink:

franznietzsche said:
I've never met one that hasn't used them. Or worse. But I'm terribly jaded and bitter. Don't listen to me.

I now default to the interpretation that when they pull that crap, I haven't done anything wrong, rather they've done something wrong and are trying to cover it up by putting me on the defensive. Which gets them a quick boot out the door. I have no patience or tolerance for people anymore. No wonder I'm single.
:cool:
 
  • #39
This "friends" thing you used to bother me a lot. It seemed that the girls in whom I really was interested just wanted me as a friend, and the girls who really showed interest in me, I just wanted as friends.

Years ago, I went to a mall with one such female "friend", and, before I realized what has happening, I found myself in a wedding dress store with her. Yikes!

But there is hope! I am now happily married.

Regards,
George
 
  • #40
jimmy p said:
Call me a bully, but making girls cry is great. Especially if you can stay level headed. There was a lot of satisfaction when I argued with my then girlfriend and she cried. And when I broke up with her.

"Frankly my dear, I don't care about you".

Oh yes, how smooth am I? :biggrin:

However when women cry for another reason, it is SO frustrating.

Anyway, deja vu anyone? This reminds me of a thread a LONG time ago :-p

WOW! I think I AM going to call you a bully! Making a hobby of making girls cry is kinda harsh! May I suggest a new hobby?
 
  • #41
It isn't a hobby. Just a talent I have. I'm a heartbreaker, what can I say. Please suggest a new hobby!
 
  • #42
jimmy p said:
It isn't a hobby. Just a talent I have. I'm a heartbreaker, what can I say. Please suggest a new hobby!
Growing up?:-p
 
  • #43
Mk said:
Yeah, you had to settle for the transvestites.

Nope, we didn't have them either. But it was a fun class though. :biggrin:

Jimmy, LOL! :smile:
 
  • #44
Lisa! said:
Growing up?:-p

Surely you can't have forgotten our little discussion about maturity. I'm the real-life Peter Pan. Except my arch-nemesis doesn't have a hook. He thought that was too cliche. Plus he isn't a captain, and his surname isn't Hook. Makes sense when you think about it...
 
  • #45
tell her she's hot, but in a less direct way

for instance...?
 
  • #46
Going back to the topic, you want to get the chicks? go up on open mic night and be the comedian. Guys onstage are irresistible to chicks. If you aint the clown then you're the fool.
 
  • #47
jimmy p said:
Surely you can't have forgotten our little discussion about maturity. I'm the real-life Peter Pan. Except my arch-nemesis doesn't have a hook. He thought that was too cliche. Plus he isn't a captain, and his surname isn't Hook. Makes sense when you think about it...
Nope, I've not!:smile: But that wasn't the case.
Anyway I don't feel bad about your little hobby!:biggrin:
 
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  • #48
What's with the ulterior motives? . . . Let her cry [Hootie]. . . Isn't that why you have shoulders? Perhaps she was just looking for a friend to . . . lean on [James Brown].
 
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  • #49
The_Professional said:
If you aint the clown then you're the fool.


Is that... is that you Mr. T?
 
  • #50
Hey! I'm Mr. T.! IMPOSTER!

Mrt4.jpg
 
  • #51
franznietzsche said:
But I'm terribly jaded and bitter. Don't listen to me...I have no patience or tolerance for people anymore. No wonder I'm single.
Amen Brother Amen
 
  • #52
Honestly, man, I don't think it even matters if you're nice or not. Either giving the girl a shoulder or not is probably not going to be the determining factor between you bedding her and you simply becoming an outlet for her complaints about the guys that are bedding her.

You're problem is that you're insecure, which is reflected pretty handily in the way you've posted here. If you don't believe you deserve them, they won't believe it either. Look at how far a little confidence gets ugly dorks like Vince Neal and David Lee Roth. Granted, being a rock star also helps, but even guys like them in school get chicks.
 
  • #53
As a follow-up to LYN's post, you must believe you've got something to offer HER. You must be convinced that it would be good for her to get together with you, not just that it would be good for you.
 
  • #54
Being secure and confident is a plus.
 
  • #55
Changing you attitude does wonders, even without the company of actions.
 

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