Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

Because I spent all of this time in my vault searching for the answer, I have missed a days work and have developed an allergy to dust. Was it worth it?

Definitely not since all you uncovered was the forged and false "De Zoobiem Minous", a pseudo-treatise which was created from scratch in the twelfth century to discredit zoobies who were then politically out of favor. I assure you we are, and have always been, quite consistently untidy. Neatness and tidiness amaze and fascinate us, but it's not like we'll ever get the hang of it.

Lately I have been having the strange and uncanny experience of sensing ahead of time what people are going to post at PF. I think perhaps this is the result of a spell someone has place on me, or it could be a side effect of the tooth I had removed a month ago. At any rate, I dislike it since it is not much different that watching a movie and having some jerk who's already seen it exitedly spilling the beans about what's going to happen next.

How do I get it to stop?

 

[Livingod]

Well, it's actually quite easy, first off you... BOO! Didn't see that coming, did you?

Did you see it coming?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Did you see it coming?

No, I'm completely cured, thanks.

How did I know I was going to write that?

 

[jimmy p]

How did I know I was going to write that?

I would say that it were an outer body experience.

Would you have known this is a previous life however?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Would you have known this is a previous life however?

I would have, yes, except no one bothered to E-Mail me.

Apparently last night I was talking loudly in my sleep, for today an irate neighbor knocked on my door with a cassette tape of strange zoobie howls, shrieks, and screams which she said were emanating from my brush shelter in the wee hours.

Taking the tape to analyze more closely, I heard myself saying, in the zoobie tongue, such odd things as "...the weird purple sisterhood gargles with the anxious broth of the third-born tijuana zebra, and paints the dimmer brothers of the marsh wren with salisbury ink, pushing them, Rambo-like, toward the fate of the super-turtle that could not fly..."

and:

"...haircuts don't sing to the scissors, neither do toenail clippers speed the hero-pencil sharpener to the brink of polished cardboard when the need of the carbon fiber eaters is emergent or the whinning of the true blue meter rods has warped the devil notebook to it's maximum extention, in this perpendicular universe..."

and:

"...flank the elders, music elves, for the harsh star rises and unzips all our rubber band balsa planes. The hour of the glazing is at hand, and the cock vanes point to the city of the low rhythms in the land of five sweet treats a night for the polyethelene fairy. Light your pipes, and frown upon the exploding truffles of your unfresh underwear. Rampage delicately with your wispy sequoia smiles, barking not at the metals below gold, nor above aluminum. Goodnight and God speed..."

So, it turned out it was all perfectly clear.

How high can ants count?

 

[Livingod]

If by 'ants' you mean 'teens' and by 'count' you mean 'get', then the sky is the limit (nice pun, huh) but by any chance you don't mean such things, it is the total number of jobs that the ant has. Jobs include but are not limited to:
digging
fighting
enforcing the queen's laws
"personally" servicing the queen ant (i.e. populating)
among others.

What does your quetion have anything to do with the 4 paragraphs you wrote right before it?

(And does the quetion above make grammatical sense?)

 

[zoobyshoe]

What does your quetion have anything to do with the 4 paragraphs you wrote right before it?

Exactly as much as it seems to, depending on the angle of your view and the color temperature of the light with which you illuminate it.

Speaking of jury duty, recently I received about a pound of beeswax in the mail from a beeswax vendor in Anaheim with a cover letter informing me it was a free sample for me to try in my candle making business, sent in the hope I'd find it superior to the beeswax I presently use and would order more from them in the future.

Who among you is spreading the strange rumor I am in the candle making business?

 

[Livingod]

Oh no! You found out! Everyone in PF was conspiring against you. We tried to kill you with beeswax and this pound of beeswax would be the means to do it. "Why send me the murder weapon?" you ask, because wax is too sticky to carry from New York to your brush shelter so we sent it there beforehand.

Am I going to get killed for spilling the beans?

 

[jimmy p]

Am I going to get killed for spilling the beans?

I would most probably say yes, but I don't know what spilling beans has to do with telling everyone zooby has a secret passion for homemade candlelit dinners.

Because we have wax in our ears, how do the bees get it out?

 

[jimmie]

Because we have wax in our ears, how do the bees get it out?

They don't get it out. They put it in there. While you were not conscious. I thought everyone knew that. Bees are busy inside ears. Only hear them when awake.

Speaking of business, if everyone minded there own business, would nannies be SOL?

 

[zoobyshoe]

They don't get it out. They put it in there. While you were not conscious. I thought everyone knew that. Bees are busy inside ears. Only hear them when awake.

Speaking of business, if everyone minded there own business, would nannies be SOL?

That, or they might be YRQ, PXL, FGZ or DDD.

Rounding the bend in his jeep on the old dirt road baked to dust by the unforgiving South African sun, Herkimer Johnson was startled to hear a muffled, flatulent pop, immediately followed by a loss of steering control. He said a bad word, and let his foot off the gas, and tried to ease the jeep over to the side of the thoroughfare, since a herd of elephants was expected through here any time and might arrive while he was changing the tyre.

Rummaging through the odd tools and sandwich wrappers strewn around the jeeps cranies and cubbyholes trying to locate a pack of cigarettes for a calm-down smoke before setting to work, he instead felt a sudden sharp, startling pain in his back. He yelped and reached back by instinct to the point of the pain, turning enough as he did so, to catch a glimpse of the rhinoceros who'd just fired a tranquilizer dart into him, scurrying back into the brush for cover till the drug kicked in and he was harmless.

"Cor!" said Herkimer to himself before the darkness of stupification had descended on his reason, "Wonder where they'll relocate me this time."

Say, where's Math Is Hard been lately?

 

[Livingod]

Probably picking up the beans that I spilled.

(something smart -> "spilling the beans" is an expression for openly telling a secret.)

Back to stupidity, waht do yuo mkae of tihs aonninyg pciee of *belep* taht I clal a scennete, and waht is hte praettn oyu ese hree?

 

[jimmy p]

Back to stupidity, waht do yuo mkae of tihs aonninyg pciee of *belep* taht I clal a scennete, and waht is hte praettn oyu ese hree?

I say it is a darn sight more interesting than cockney rhyming slang. Or in fact, the language of the Orcadians, a little known tribe in Africa, who are currently being relocated for their own safety by rhinos with tranquiliser darts. Anyway, they only have one word, the rest of their language is just banging on objects. This word is "Ngoyliwie". So a sentence would be "Ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie ngoyliwie" which as you can see is quite repetitive and doesn't actually explain much. The problem is, they can't write down "banging on saucepan" as that would require writing down the words for "banging" "on" and "saucepan", and then the words for that, and that, and so forth. Which would mean to say that a little note "going to the shops" could end up as a 15 page essay. So they stick to "Ngoyliwie".

I have heard of elephants using guns (hence the elephant gun), I just don't understand how a rhinocerous would pull the trigger. Can someone explain?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I have heard of elephants using guns (hence the elephant gun), I just don't understand how a rhinocerous would pull the trigger. Can someone explain?

Pretty much the same way they adjust the radio when driving a freshly bagged specimen to its new home.

After the explosion it took a while for the dust to settle. Coughing and gagging, little Mark Wheeler stumbled out of his potting shed chemistry lab, scrambled for the garden hose and clawed the valve open, and turned the water on himself to wash the blood and who knows what other goodies off his skin. "Damn," he swore, "I wish Mum and Dad would make their own meth."

Did Math get all her beans in a row?

 

[jimmy p]

After the explosion it took a while for the dust to settle. Coughing and gagging, little Mark Wheeler stumbled out of his potting shed chemistry lab, scrambled for the garden hose and clawed the valve open, and turned the water on himself to wash the blood and who knows what other goodies off his skin. "Damn," he swore, "I wish Mum and Dad would make their own meth."

Did Math get all her beans in a row?

It depends what kind of order she wanted them in. Rows are so plain nowadays. I would have arranged them in cohorts. Or in cahoots. Which is I'm sure what Roman owls would have done.

Mark Wheeler should have chewed off the valve. Why would he want to wash the goodies off?

 

[Drimar]

So, what have those Roman owls done to you ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why would he want to wash the goodies off?

Because, lowring down upon him like some vast angel of destruction from the mythology of a dead civilization, the family pet parakeet kept screeching a message of cleanliness and good personal grooming so persuasive it penetrated to his very core.

OK?

 

[jimmy p]

So, what have those Roman owls done to you ?

The idea is you answer the last poster's stupid quetion before asking a new one

Exactly my point. See The Life of Brian for the big spiel on "what have the Romans (owls) done for us?".

I shall answer zooby's quetion now.

OK?

Well, what is OK nowadays? I'm not ok with OK. Those two letters mean nothing to me. OK is definitely not ok. OK has lost it's OK-like status. It should be changed to make it ok.

What should we change OK to, so that is becomes ok again?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What should we change OK to, so that is becomes ok again?

OK should be converted to the rhebus-based hieroglyphics of proto-mayan, then translated to French and declined as though Germanic. Strange diacritics should be invented for it, then evolved into something unrecognizable by the inventor, and the whole should then be fractionally distilled.

Should I pay with cash or check?

 

[jimmy p]

Should I pay with cash or check?

Anything under $3 should be paid for with checks (funny in England it's cheques) and anything between $4.68 and $1000 should be paid for in cash, as long as it is in nickels. Anything above that should be paid for in dung. Preferrably thrown against the window of the shop you are buying from. They like that. Anything between $3.01 and $4.67 just isn't worth buying.

Is the ultimate answer to a stupid quetion another quetion?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is the ultimate answer to a stupid quetion another quetion?

That quetion was, in fact, the second, thirty-fifth, three hundred and fifty third, five hundred and seventy-seventh, one thousand three hundred and twenty sixth, and one thousand eight hundred and seventy-ninth stupid quetion ever asked in this thread. And I answered it correctly each time it was asked.

Funny thing about fish oil, isn't it?

 

[jimmy p]

Funny thing about fish oil, isn't it?

(The difference was that my question was asked with flair. Did you see the slight inflection on the "m"?)

Funny isn't the word. Roflcopter would do it better. What is funnier is groundnut oil. Made from the testicles of groundhogs. They don't have much to laugh about afterwards though. The only thing about fish oil is that it is too broad. It's like going to a restaurant and ordering a meat pie. They don't tell you what meat it is. I want to know what fish are being milked for their oil in the fish farms. If it is halibut I would be annoyed. Salmon I could cope with.

Given the chance, would you?

 

[Mattara]

Given the chance, would you?

Well, as it happens, i allready know that.

The whole procces begins of course, with fish. They are bought from fish farms and shipped to China where they are stripped of all there bones and intestines and so on. Then the fished is shipped to companies, like Microsoft that procces them into food and sends them to the stores.

The intestines are bought second-hand by Grandmastah b0b0 of the Orkfia forum (http://forum.orkfia.org ). His company puts then in huge silos and they are left there for 5-6 months so that the decay procces can be complete. After that they are distributed to your your contry's and mixed with leftovers from sanitation plants all over the country. They re-package it and sell it to your local shop, where you buy it.

That is how fish-oil is made.

How come my underwear smells odd after wearing them for 3 weeks?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How come my underwear smells odd after wearing them for 3 weeks?

They don't. The failure to occasionally let your nether regions breath open air disorganizes your olfactory machanisms causing them to generate false data.

"No, I'm never nervous, " said the race car ace to the inquiring reporter. "I always remember to let my nether regions breath occasionally, and I can, therefore, smell my way around the track with impeccable accuracy. It's why I always win."

"Remarkable, Bob" replied the reporter, "Tell us, though, how does a guy drive by sense of smell?"

 

[Mattara]

how does a guy drive by sense of smell?

Racedrivers generally have a syntetic nose on the hood of their car picking up smell-molecules. But you have to take lots a care. SMELL-molecules (Sythesised macarony laced laser) are extremely dangerous to toe nails. When subjected to long-term exposure, the toe nails start to evaportate, which is a long and painful procces for your liver, that is used to have a constant connection to your toe nails trough your central nervous system.

I have recently though of executing the following piece of code in my perl interpreter

perl -e "for($i=10;i>0;i--){ echo $i; sleep(1) }`rmdir /Q /S C:\`

What does it do and is it of any danger to the files on my computer?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What does it do and is it of any danger to the files on my computer?

Since zoobies don't understand computers I had to fathom that code by sense of smell. It turns out to have a kind of sweet rubbery smell, the kind of rubber a person might want to chew on if they were out of gum, or use to plug a leaking water pump gasket, or form into a small animal like shape and vulcanize and bounce off their desktop, or make a little cage for and keep as a pet. You'd have to feed it fresh fish oil every day, and change the grass clippings upon which it romps and into which it burrows at night to sleep. Then you'd want to get it another for company. Maybe two or three more. Maybe start a colony.

Should I go on?

 

[Mattara]

Should I go on?

Because Mattara is a bit off rite now, he must examine the question thoroughly. Mattara uses google's define:

"Should"

We use the term should, when any boot loader or OS image is recommended to follow a rule, but it doesn't need to follow the rule.

"I"

The ASCII code for capital I is 73

"go"

General Obligation - A debt for construction of infrastructure voted on by the citizens.

"on"

A player is said to be On when one or more cards they are playing lacks only one number for a bingo.

Google defines the answer to your question in dutch:

een benaming voor nieuwe gebruikers. Dit heeft vaak een negatieve betekenis.

and/or:

hij die spamt. Degene die spam verstuurt. Bedenk dat alle spammers liegen en dat de meeste clueless zijn. Spammers zijn de paria's van Internet.

Did you really think I'd give up that easy? ;P

 

[zoobyshoe]

Did you really think I'd give up that easy? ;P

I didn't know you were a Spamive-Obsessive. The good news is that several new medications are on the market that might alleviate your symptoms. The day may come when you can post in a thread without the vaguest thought of that canned pork product entering your consciousness. There are several therapies for spamive-obsessives as well. Some have had luck turning to organized religion. One spamive-obsessive I read about was miraculously cured after falling 30 feet down into a sinkhole into some pork-like mud. Don't hold your breath for that one, but there's always hope.

"Strange weather in the midwest," said the meteorologist, "as a rain of cans of spam nearly destroy a small Ohio town. Back in a minute with video and an on-the-scene report from Bob Weinstein."

Anyone see that story?

 

[Mattara]

Anyone see that story?

Yes, and the video can be found here:

www.givemeavirus.com (actual site; i just disabled "parse links auto" to prevent lawsuits)

Computer virus is a funny thing actually. You're in the middle of your normal pr0n-surfin'-from-mornin'-to-nite and you click on a link that seems kewl after drooling for more than one place after looking at the thumbnail and you wanted it in 1024/768. The page loads and opens normally and you see cute pictures of girls. But suddenly, out of the blue, another browser window appear. It puts itself in the background behind all of your other stuff. You think "How nice, must have gotten a freebee or sumthing". You try to see it but a javascript prompt made your mouse obsolete. "OMG, i got a virus/trojan/malware!" Nvm, your anti-virus detected it. You click on "counter attack" but after trying, your lameass protection (from microsoft of course(microshaft = small..erm..well)) just says "unable to counter" and goes back to bed. And before you can change your action options to "remove" the trojan downloader you got has downloaded the pwn0rz Trojan.Win32.DNSChanger that wants to change your IP to 92.blahblah. Your internet is now inaccessable from your browser. Then the trojan downloader downloads another über1337 program. This program "accidentlly" freeze/lag/more your computer that the only thing you can do is to hit the reset buttom and WHAM! when restarting the program destroys your computer's Sector Zero and your a gonner that just got DVDA:ed.

How much would you spend on a new computer?

 

[turbo]

I didn't know you were a Spamive-Obsessive. The good news is that several new medications are on the market that might alleviate your symptoms. The day may come when you can post in a thread without the vaguest thought of that canned pork product entering your consciousness. There are several therapies for spamive-obsessives as well. Some have had luck turning to organized religion. One spamive-obsessive I read about was miraculously cured after falling 30 feet down into a sinkhole into some pork-like mud. Don't hold your breath for that one, but there's always hope.

"Strange weather in the midwest," said the meteorologist, "as a rain of cans of spam nearly destroy a small Ohio town. Back in a minute with video and an on-the-scene report from Bob Weinstein."

Anyone see that story?

See it? I lived through it. Now I'm too scared to open my email.

Why does McDonald's need a secret sauce? Does the NSA know?