Can Old Sayings Get a Modern Twist?

[Evo]

He has a mind like a blotter, he soaks it all in, but gets it all backwards.

Well, ok, I didn't modify it, it's good as is.

 

[Moonbear]

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Actually, that one's already a bit weird.

Hmm...I always thought a dagger worked better for that.

"The pen is mightier than the sword..." well, at least those little plastic toothpicks shaped like a sword.

 

[matthyaouw]

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his breastbone, but his stomach offers the path of least resistance.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

"DARE to keep kids off drugs"... no really I dare you... come on just try it.

 

[daveb]

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.

A mime is a terrible thing!

 

[Artman]

"It ain't over until the fat lady sings."

I have a recollection of an episode of the Simpsons, Marge took everyone to the opera. Bart asked when is it over and Homer responded with, "It ain't over until the fat lady sings." The next singer was a huge woman, to which Bart said, "Is that fat enough for ya?" Homer started laughing and Marge said, " I suppose," and they all left. (I think that's how it went.)

Found the correct passage:

Homer grows impatient, but Bart reminds him, ``It ain't over 'til the
fat lady sings.'' Homer asks, ``Is that one fat enough for you, son?''
Homer stands up. ``Let's go get a burger.''

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/7G02.html"

 

[arildno]

The quickest way to enflame a man's heart (whether straight or gay) is up his guts.

 

[daveb]

There is no "I" in teamwork. Nor is there a "B", a "C", a "D"...

 

[jimmy p]

"Save your pennies for a rainy day" so you can get a bloody big umbrella.

 

[tribdog]

Early to bed, early to rise pretty much describes a PFers social life.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

There is no time like the present; all others must differ by at least one quantum event.

 

[jimmy p]

"Call me old fashioned" but I send my son up chimneys. Keeps him out of mischief.

 

[arildno]

"Save your pennies for a rainy day" so you can get a bloody big umbrella.

"Don't save your penis for a dainty ray"-it's a contradiction.

 

[jimmy p]

"Charity begins at home"...so keeping all your money for yourself and not giving any away. Which is in fact the opposite of charity.

 

[phusicist]

"An I for an I leaves genetic ethics to be seen"

 

[jimmy p]

"Not until the cows come home" Those party animals.

 

[phusicist]

"Truthiness is self-evident"

 

[Artman]

Early to bed, early to rise pretty much describes a PFers social life.

Sad but funny.

 

[scott1]

"Don't let the bed bugs bite" don't worry I a lot of DDT in my bed tonight

 

[Artman]

This is one that I heard elsewhere:

To ere is human, but to really screw things up takes a computer.

 

[arildno]

This is one that I heard elsewhere:
To ere is human, but to really screw things up takes a computer.

Ere, dear?

To spell a word correctly is an Art, but it takes a man to screw up a great quote.

 

[tribdog]

to spell a word correctly is an Art, for Art to spell a word correctly is a miracle.

 

[Artman]

to spell a word correctly is an Art, for Art to spell a word correctly is a miracle.

They took away my spell checker. I'm way too lazy to look up something if I'm not quite sure. :zzz:
Funny Trib.

 

[Artman]

To err is human, to forgive is not nearly as much fun as to make fun of the mistake.