Can Simple Gestures Boost Your Dating Success?

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Simple gestures, such as holding doors or offering coffee, can enhance dating success by making a positive impression. However, seeking approval or being overly nice may backfire, as women often find "nice guys" less attractive. Instead, projecting confidence and emotional control is crucial, as women are drawn to men who appear self-sufficient and indifferent. Complimenting too soon or acting needy can diminish attraction, while a more challenging demeanor can spark interest. Ultimately, the discussion emphasizes that attraction is influenced by behavior rather than inherent qualities.
  • #31
And while you're waiting, here's a group with a good theme song to keep you inspired!
http://www.americanhi-fi.com/main.php

Their song, "The Geeks Get the Girls" is the Carson Daly pick of the week (i.e., free download this week) from iTunes. :biggrin:

P.S. I just finished downloading it, and it's pretty funny! If you have iTunes, I recommend downloading it while it's free, just for the laugh. :-p
 
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  • #32
Polly said:
Thank you Propro, you are the baddest! :biggrin:

Ladies, chill out :smile: . If nobody likes my advice that's just too bad, maybe things are a bit different in America. :biggrin:

Your advice encourages arrogance in men, a huge turn off to the intelligent ladies, especially the intelligent ones in America. So, men, if you are hoping to score a woman with zero depth and 100% superficiality, by all means, please follow Polly's advice.
 
  • #33
I agree with Kerrie's assessment of the advice posted by Polly. Even though it might be 'tongue in cheek', I think it's a poor example. Unfortunately, some men may follow such advice. I would hope that my son would never behave in such a way, and I hope that any man would not treat my daughter or sister in such a way.

Chivalry is still alive. Being kind, considerate and thoughtful, as well as open and honest is the appropriate behavior, and this is what I would expect from my son, or any young man who wishes to date my daughter.

All the women I have known prefer 'nice' guys. It is how I am, how my father is and how my grandfathers were.
 
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  • #34
For a real relationship, yes, women definitely prefer the nice guys. That's not to say many women don't find one bad guy along the way for some fun, but those never last. Stability and reliability are much better.
 
  • #35
If you look at all the female publications in the newsstands. All of the topics are all saying: "How to make a man want you" "How to make him beg and scream for more". They're all after one thing, which is getting a man to want you.

Now if the same guy tries to employ some that will help him find and keep a relationship he's branded a "lying, manipulative arrogant bastard".
Talk about a double standard.
 
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  • #36
The_Professional said:
If you look at all the female publications in the newsstands. All of the topics are all saying: "How to make a man want you" "How to make him beg and scream for more". They're all after one thing, which is getting a man to want you right.

Now if the same guy tries to employ some that will help him find and keep a relationship he's branded a "lying, manipulative arrogant bastard".
Talk about a double standard.

Oh, it's not really a double standard. If a guy employs those rules Polly posted, he'll be just as likely to get the same superficial sort of person that the women using the rules in one of those magazines would get. Have you ever read the nonsense in those magazines? Actually, the rules Polly posted are almost identical to the rules that women get from those magazines about men. They don't have to work, they just have to sell magazines.
 
  • #37
Moonbear said:
Oh, it's not really a double standard. If a guy employs those rules Polly posted, he'll be just as likely to get the same superficial sort of person that the women using the rules in one of those magazines would get. Have you ever read the nonsense in those magazines? Actually, the rules Polly posted are almost identical to the rules that women get from those magazines about men. They don't have to work, they just have to sell magazines.

I've seen it. Women understand men, you don't even need to read it. It's wired into you. When it comes to relationships you gals are packing the machine gun while the guy has the mini revolver with one bullet...but has challenge written on it :wink:
 
  • #38
Astronuc said:
Chivalry is still alive. Being kind, considerate and thoughtful, as well as open and honest is the appropriate behavior, and this is what I would expect from my son, or any young man who wishes to date my daughter.

All the women I have known prefer a 'nice' guys. It is how I am, how my father is and how my grandfathers were.

I totally agree with you here. My dad's the nicest guy I know and that's where I got it from. I, personally, would rather be chivalrous than a jerk. Even if the girl's are initially attracted to them.
 
  • #39
Chrono said:
I totally agree with you here. My dad's the nicest guy I know and that's where I got it from. I, personally, would rather be chivalrous than a jerk. Even if the girl's are initially attracted to them.
Yep, even if a woman is initially attracted to someone that's treats them poorly, if things don't improve (and they usually don't) it won't be long before she turns to the nice guy that's been standing in the background all along.

Of course there are exceptions, but would you a want a girl that likes to be mistreated?
 
  • #40
The_Professional said:
while the guy has the mini revolver with one bullet...

:rolleyes: No need to be embarrassed, it happens to lots of guys, honest. :biggrin:
 
  • #41
Moonbear said:
:rolleyes: No need to be embarrassed, it happens to lots of guys, honest. :biggrin:


ouch!

I've seen it. Women understand men, you don't even need to read it. It's wired into you.

Well for one, perhaps it is you that attract these sort of women, and the good ones don't see the qualities in you that they are looking for. Stop placing the blame solely on the female gender and take an honest look at what you might be doing.
 
  • #42
Kerrie said:
ouch!

Well for one, perhaps it is you that attract these sort of women, and the good ones don't see the qualities in you that they are looking for. Stop placing the blame solely on the female gender and take an honest look at what you might be doing.

That's quite an assumption on someone you don't know. With your history of throwing cheap shots at people you disagree with I'm not surprise lol.
 
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  • #43
Moonbear said:
:rolleyes: No need to be embarrassed, it happens to lots of guys, honest. :biggrin:

*LOL* you're funny...
 
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  • #44
The_Professional said:
That's quite an assumption on someone you don't know. With your history of throwing cheap shots at people you disagree with I'm not surprise lol.

I didn't think it was meant as any sort of cheap shot. It's good advice. It doesn't mean it is the case, but anyone who finds themselves attracting a lot of the wrong type of people or winding up in a lot of the wrong type of relationships should consider looking inward to find out if there's something they are doing that's driving away the type of people they really would like to meet, or that's turning them into a magnet for the ones who are all wrong for them. Maybe they aren't doing anything wrong and are just on a streak of bad luck, but it does happen that people send out signals they don't know they are sending.
 
  • #45
The_Professional said:
That's quite an assumption on someone you don't know. With your history of throwing cheap shots at people you disagree with I'm not surprise lol.
it certainly wasn't meant as a cheap shot...if you have this sort of view of women due to your experiences on a consistent basis, you are most likely attracting these sort of people for a reason. it was meant as a sincere pointer actually.
 
  • #46
Kerrie said:
it certainly wasn't meant as a cheap shot...if you have this sort of view of women due to your experiences on a consistent basis, you are most likely attracting these sort of people for a reason. it was meant as a sincere pointer actually.

My point is: In dating, women do the choosing and guys do the picking. Women have the veto power on whether she will continually see the guy again or not. That is a fact. You cannot argue with reality.

Whether that is a bad thing or a good thing is not what I'm arguing for or against. Comprende?
 
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  • #47
The_Professional said:
My point is: In dating, women do the choosing and guys do the picking. Women have the veto power on whether she will continually see the guy again or not. That is a fact. You cannot argue with reality.

Sure, but the guy can also "veto" future dates. Otherwise you're suggesting that unless a woman dumps a guy, men will just date them indefinitely, which isn't what happens. And, in picking and choosing, part of that involves having a good selection around to pick and choose from. That's what Kerrie is talking about, ensuring you're attracting the right women in your direction to be a part of this picking and choosing process. Women don't have any more of an innate ability to understand men than men have of understanding women. There's no formula for this. Getting to learn more about understanding the individual is what dating is about.
 
  • #48
Moonbear said:
Sure, but the guy can also "veto" future dates. Otherwise you're suggesting that unless a woman dumps a guy, men will just date them indefinitely, which isn't what happens.

A guy can veto dates. But ask any guy how many dates he's turned down. Unless he's George Clooney the answer is usually less than one.

Sadly, there are a lot of guys that will stick with a woman who has low interest in him. And yes, that's what usually happens.
 

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