Checklist Accomplished: Launching My Daughter Into the World

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the experiences and emotions associated with launching a child into adulthood, particularly in the context of sending a daughter off to college. Participants share personal anecdotes, reflections on parenting, and the bittersweet nature of this transition.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Debate/contested
  • Meta-discussion

Main Points Raised

  • One participant lists various parenting milestones achieved before sending their daughter to college, expressing a sense of accomplishment.
  • Another participant humorously relates the list to their marriage, suggesting a parallel in responsibilities.
  • Several participants express emotional reactions to the transition, with some noting it as bittersweet and challenging.
  • Concerns are raised about the college application process, with one participant observing that many students with strong GPAs did not apply to college, attributing this to various factors.
  • Discussion includes the idea that "showing up" requires courage and is essential for success, with some participants agreeing on this point.
  • Another participant humorously expands on the responsibilities of parenting an adult child, listing ongoing support tasks.
  • One participant reflects on their health situation, sharing a personal journey and inviting support from others.
  • There are multiple reiterations of the original checklist, with participants expressing congratulations and sharing their own experiences related to parenting and launching children.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants express a mix of agreement on the emotional aspects of launching a child, but there are differing views on the challenges and implications of this transition. Some discussions remain unresolved, particularly regarding the reasons behind college application trends.

Contextual Notes

Some participants reference personal circumstances that may influence their perspectives, such as health issues and ongoing parenting responsibilities, which may not be universally applicable.

Who May Find This Useful

Parents navigating the transition of children into adulthood, individuals reflecting on their own parenting experiences, and those interested in discussions about educational pathways and emotional challenges associated with growing independence.

  • #61
Sorry, for just a second, I thought that this post:
BobG said:
They obviously ran out of toilet paper at her friend's house...
was actually in response to this one:
lisab said:
Nice! What medium?
:eek:
 
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  • #62
lisab said:
My mom tells me that the best way to determine if you're a good parent is to observe how your children parent their own children.

Soooo...I hopefully have many years before I experience that!

Yeah, I don't blame you. She's 18 right? "Do not get married too young ok?" I'd tell mine. I think wait till you're 27 or so.

However isn't it a little unfair to judge a parent's ability to raise children to how well their children parent their children? I can imagine really crummy parents, but children who survived the ordeal and grew in maturity and wisdom and grew into good parents. Likewise, I'm sure it's not unreasonable to expect some parents, who did marvelous jobs raising their children, but the children were not so good at it.

But then what is the best way you think Jack? I'm not sure at this point but I suspect living the life of a good parent, both mom and dad, throughout their child's life, I think is the best way to be a parent.
 
  • #63
lisab said:
My mom tells me that the best way to determine if you're a good parent is to observe how your children parent their own children.

jackmell said:
However isn't it a little unfair to judge a parent's ability to raise children to how well their children parent their children?

Not at all, especially if you're a mother-in-law.

If your son's wife doesn't raise her kids the same way the son's mother did, it's because the son's wife was raised either by ingnorant redneck hillbillies or by uppity upper class snobs. It's not her fault she's a lousy mother - she just needs the expert meddling of the son's mother to help her be a better mother.

Forunately, mother-in-laws don't apply the same criteria to their daughter's husband. Knowing their own daughter, they just feel grateful she was actually able to find someone to put up with her. Or was that just my ex-mother-in-law that felt that way.
 
  • #64
BobG said:
Not at all, especially if you're a mother-in-law.

If your son's wife doesn't raise her kids the same way the son's mother did, it's because the son's wife was raised either by ingnorant redneck hillbillies or by uppity upper class snobs. It's not her fault she's a lousy mother - she just needs the expert meddling of the son's mother to help her be a better mother.

Forunately, mother-in-laws don't apply the same criteria to their daughter's husband. Knowing their own daughter, they just feel grateful she was actually able to find someone to put up with her. Or was that just my ex-mother-in-law that felt that way.
I am grateful to find anyone's daughter who would put up with me. :biggrin:
 
  • #65
cronxeh said:
babysit her kids so she can go out and party - check
feed her kids - check
Keep her kids clean - check.
Read to her kids - check.
Play with her kids - check.
Teach her kids how to swim, ride a bike, do a summersault - check.
Explain the wonders of the world to her kids - check.
...

cronxeh forgot the most important item of all:

Teaching her kids how to do that thing where they make an "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" sound. Then they place their finger horizontally across their mouth and move it up and down to turn the "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" into a "aabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwa" sound.

My grandson is making pretty progress with this. First, he would make the "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" sound and I'd have to move my finger up and down to add the "aaaaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwa". Now he's reached the point where he tries to do it on his own. Except he uses his whole hand instead of just his finger, so the sound's degraded just a little bit.

Still, he has the main idea and just needs practice. I try to inspire him by showing him how I do it. I can do the "William Tell Overture" doing that, whatever it's called.

Which leads me to the one problem I have with this. Terminology isn't terribly important right now, but eventually he's going to learn how to talk and he'll ask me what we're doing.

I don't have a clue! What is that called, anyway?!
 
  • #66
Teaching whatever might be challenging ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y5AlxRruOU
 
  • #67
lisab said:
Good, I'd like to see it :smile:.

Your thread inspired me to clean it up and post it. Changed the title. Try and not think about that other title when you read it. Kinda' messes it up otherwise. How about askin' Dad to take a look at it also for me please.

http://theoneman.newsvine.com/_news/2010/09/24/5145937-still-greater-agonies
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #68
I just finished a checklist, too:

Take some time off work for a vacation - check (finally).
Leave your son in grad school behind - check.
Receive a one word text message from your son whilst in the middle of nowhere - check.
Message says "accident" - check.
Son drives my car (manual transmission) because his is a wreck - check.
Son ruins clutch on my car - check.
 
  • #69
D H said:
Son drives my car (manual transmission) because his is a wreck - check.
Son ruins clutch on my car - check.

Your car is a wreck - check.
 
  • #70
D H said:
I just finished a checklist, too:

Receive a one word text message from your son whilst in the middle of nowhere - check.
Message says "accident" - check.
Son drives my car (manual transmission) because his is a wreck - check.
Son ruins clutch on my car - check.

I'm so glad my son can't drive my manual transmission Jeep.

He can't drive any car unless it has a breathalyzer installed.
 
  • #71
BobG said:
Teaching her kids how to do that thing where they make an "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" sound. Then they place their finger horizontally across their mouth and move it up and down to turn the "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" into a "aabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwa" sound.

My grandson is making pretty progress with this. First, he would make the "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" sound and I'd have to move my finger up and down to add the "aaaaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwaaabwa". Now he's reached the point where he tries to do it on his own. Except he uses his whole hand instead of just his finger, so the sound's degraded just a little bit.

Which leads me to the one problem I have with this. Terminology isn't terribly important right now, but eventually he's going to learn how to talk and he'll ask me what we're doing.

I don't have a clue! What is that called, anyway?!

After a very long duration (but short distance) car trip last weekend (stuck in traffic because of the upcoming football game and Dad's poor choice of streets), Little E (at 14 months) now does that finger thing on me if I go "aaaaah". We haven't gotten to the William Tell Overture though. I don't think Dad and the rest of the gang were pleased with her progress towards this, but it beat having a crying baby in the back seat after she'd finished up her baggie of Cheerios.

Personally, overall we're still stuck at the first three on the list... though I'll say she often teaches me the wonderment of the world. Who knew keys, empty boxes, etc. were so cool... let alone the [damn] cats?
 
  • #72
physics girl phd said:
After a very long duration (but short distance) car trip last weekend (stuck in traffic because of the upcoming football game and Dad's poor choice of streets), Little E (at 14 months) now does that finger thing on me if I go "aaaaah". We haven't gotten to the William Tell Overture though. I don't think Dad and the rest of the gang were pleased with her progress towards this, but it beat having a crying baby in the back seat after she'd finished up her baggie of Cheerios.

Personally, overall we're still stuck at the first three on the list... though I'll say she often teaches me the wonderment of the world. Who knew keys, empty boxes, etc. were so cool... let alone the [damn] cats?

Yet, you ignored the most important part of my post!

What the heck is that thing called?! How can something so many people do not have a name?
 
  • #73
rootX said:
Teaching whatever might be challenging ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y5AlxRruOU

But she's thinking, "You stupid people! Can't I just once go to a restaraunt and color the menu like a normal kid?!"
 

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