Committing to a major

[lemonfrostt]

How do I commit to a field of study? I'm constantly plagued by doubt (of whether I want it *enough*) or skepticism ("what's the point?"). I flunked two semesters partly because of this; I just played video games instead.

I know I have a general interest in math and programming because they're things I've done purely for their own sake. It's nearly a compulsion, sometimes. I've often spent several hours trying to solve some problem I made up. But I also feel pressured to do something harder or more applied, like I need to challenge myself with my work, or do something with more straightforward career prospects (i.e. engineering). I also like physics, too, while having no idea why. I just took one physics class and liked it enough to decide it should be my major.

It almost seems lame to major in mathematics, I guess. I already know I can do it, I can self-study it, I'm probably not going to get a job doing it, so why bother? I've seen other people switch to math because it was easier than what they were currently studying. I feel like I'd be doing the same. That is to say, I don't really want to pursue an education just for the sake of the credential (two MBA's in my immediate family and I really don't care for their outlook on life).

I guess a related concern is maintaining interest and focus while working part-time. Most students I've seen who do both struggle because of it. I managed to do well, but I suppose it wasn't sustainable.

notes: I currently attend a community college. Prior major was computer engineering (informally computer science before that), chosen for employability+salary, and because I had experience with computers/tech/programming. Grades/GPA have been good when I'm participating in my courses (i.e. attending lectures, doing homework regularly, reading, having discussions with professors).

 

[jedishrfu]

It seems from your post that you've already laid out a plan but you just don't know it.

It seems you would like Mathematics, with a strong possibility of pairing it with computer science (either a double major or a major/minor).

In contrast, your attraction to engineering appears to come primarily from perceived career security, not from the kind of work you actually enjoy doing.

You sound like someone who enjoys solving abstract problems.

You might be happiest in areas such as:

• mathematics
• theoretical computer science
• algorithms
• cryptography
• computational physics
• machine learning theory
• scientific computing
• numerical analysis

I can understand your naive belief that math and computer science are easy but as you move up the ladder, Math becomes more abstract.

Computer Science becomes more of a science: understanding new computing architectures, testing algorithms, writing papers on what you've found. Parallel programming on a multicore CPU is much more difficult than programming on a single-core computer before the advent of multicore chips in the 2000s.

Programming GPUs is totally different, as you either balance data transfers between the CPU and the GPU or try to max out the GPU's capabilities.

AI is the hot topic, and it is driving new hardware architectures like the Cerebras chip, which is a single chip the size of a dinner plate, no kidding.

Before Cerebras came about, many multi-core chips were manufactured on a single wafer simultaneously. They would slice and dice the wafer and then mount the chips on substrates ready for use in consumer electronics.

Apple has championed a new multi-core chip with an embedded GPU and unified memory. The idea is to eliminate a common Nvidia bottleneck: transferring data to and from the Nvidia GPU over the comparatively slow PCIe bus.

So don't worry about math and comp sci being too easy. They become increasingly challenging as you progress from freshman to graduate student and beyond.

 

[berkeman]

I flunked two semesters partly because of this; I just played video games instead.

notes: I currently attend a community college.

You flunked two semesters of community college? If I'm reading that right, that's not a good sign of potential success at this time. It may be a sign that you are just not ready for pursuing a college/university degree yet. What kind of part-time work are you doing? Have you ever done any trade type jobs (even as a helper) like electrician, plumber, carpenter, etc.?

One of my biggest motivators to do well in university was the summer jobs I had while I was in high school. I dug ditches in hard ground in the middle of the hot summer (literally dug ditches by hand with a pick and shovel), I strung livestock barbed wire fence on steep hillsides (still in the hot summer), etc. You get the idea. When I finally was able to go to college, I was *very* motivated to do well so that I could step up to a professional career instead of having to remain a day laborer.

I know a young man who went to community college for a year or two after graduating high school, but did not finish with the 2-year degree and instead worked as a valet parking attendant for a couple of years. He realized that it was a dead-end job, and became highly motivated to earn a certification or degree where he could work in a professional field. He used his savings to enroll in a coding college since he has always enjoyed gaming and coding, and worked his butt off to earn that certification. He is now working as a software engineer at a mid-size tech company and is very happy, and I am proud of him for how hard he worked on getting that cert and that job.

I also know a young woman who became an apprentice electrician after graduating high school. She did okay, but was especially discouraged by some of the difficult work situations that she sometimes found herself in (like running wiring in very hot attics in houses in the summer). She vowed to do better, enrolled in psychology classes on the side, worked really hard and did well and eventually earned her BS and MS in psychology. She is now a successful practicing psychologist helping lots and lots of patients.

In contrast to the great advice and information given by @jedishrfu above, maybe consider working full-time for a year or two to see how that feels. If it feels okay and you can find a trade or field that you like, just continue down that path. If it feels limiting and frustrating, use that as motivation for your next try at college/university.

 

[symbolipoint]

How do I commit to a field of study? I'm constantly plagued by doubt (of whether I want it *enough*) or skepticism ("what's the point?"). I flunked two semesters partly because of this; I just played video games instead.

I did not read everything you wrote yet; only done up to the above quoted. That much tells enough or more than enough already. Self-discipline and maturity are needed. Experiences could also be important. You need some experiences for several tries and errors & mistakes to figure yourself.

This may or may not be helpful: Since guessing you are in college, what major field can you choose within the next three months so that you will be able to graduate with some undergraduate degree, and then get a job and be able to live on your own? And you want to be employed in this field within about 6 years.

 

[lemonfrostt]

What kind of part-time work are you doing? Have you ever done any trade type jobs (even as a helper) like electrician, plumber, carpenter, etc.?

I'm starting a new job at a warehouse in a week. So far my jobs have been homework grading and tutoring. We'll see how it goes.

If I have disappointments about the moderate physical work I've done so far (mostly odd chores: gardening, assembling furniture, demo, etc.) it's that it can be mind-numbing, especially if I'm working with chatty people. The physical part I adapt to pretty quickly.

I fairly enjoyed my tutoring work, though I took it more seriously than the job warranted. I ended up frustrated seeing other tutors not taking it as seriously.

Regarding the stories (berkeman): I appreciate the perspective, though I have nothing particular to say.

You might be happiest in areas such as:

• mathematics
• theoretical computer science
• algorithms
• cryptography
• computational physics
• machine learning theory
• scientific computing
• numerical analysis

Most of these sound great. I've considered some of these before and forgot about them. What nags me is the question: is it a pipe dream to pursue "hard" CS/math problems outside of university? I tend to assume so.

I'll probably do some internetting to re-evaluate that perspective. If you know of any particular resources on the matter I'll take a look.

Self-discipline and maturity are needed.

I've exhibited these to a fault, yet they haven't stuck.

What major field can you choose within the next three months so that you will be able to graduate with some undergraduate degree, and then get a job and be able to live on your own? And you want to be employed in this field within about 6 years.

I can only picture this for software engineering or some other engineering. The other broadly employable fields I can think of (data analysis, business, psychology, sales, medical, legal) I have no particular interest in.