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Critique old College Essay of Mine

  1. Jan 13, 2016 #1
    "

    The driving force for human ingenuity has always been the sciences. Because of the large and diverse nature of our world there cannot just be one science. Many different fields of the science exist and they are all radically different from each other. When one wants to become a scientist they must deal with the choice of which field they want to go into, this choice is even harder when that said person is scientifically illiterate. Good thing that today there are really only 3 branches of science, excluding the social sciences, Biology, Chemistry and Physics.

    When I was young I was very scientifically and mathematically illiterate because of my schooling. Despite not knowing much about anything I always had strived to know about anything at that time. However I did know one thing, in order to understand something, you need to know how it works at it most fundamental level. The only image I had though of a scientist was a man in a white coat holding some chemical tubes. It made my brain hurt at the time to imagine how such a image could possibly answer the questions such as where we come from.

    While I was a freshman in Blank High school I started to get a very concrete understanding of what science was from my biology class. We talked about the scientific method and my teacher said that if you aren’t following the scientific method then you aren’t doing science. At first when she said that I paid little mind because I didn’t know any other of doing science. However once we starting doing biology I realized how boring and dull it was only using the scientific method. Before I even knew about subatomic particles I knew that the methods used in class could not answer the big question.

    If I was in the social and economics condition of must students I would of just googled science a long time ago and I would learned all about physics and chemistry. However even as a freshman in high school I had no Internet and no one around me that was scientifically literate. I got my first exposure to physics through a T.V special on Nova about string theory. Prior to that the only theory I knew about was evolution. Even at that young age after hearing about string theory I really didn’t like the idea of vibrating strings, but I did love how the idea was derived. Unlike in biology there was no direct observation; there was no initial hypothesis only mathematical manipulation and originality in thought process. That special answered all of the questions I had about the nature of science and taught me a new word which branded who I wanted to be, this new word was physicist.

    Physics in my opinion has the majesty that biology and chemistry doesn’t have because it truly is a fundamental science. Because physics is fundamental, in order to truly understand the other branches of science one must have a though understanding of it. Chemistry to me is simply the physics of atoms and molecules, while biology is the result of chemistry .The methods used in physics match how I think because I typically think in abstract and indirect ways. When I see a problem I don’t think, look for the straight-line solution, I look for the very curvy, indirect and right solution to the problem. For example when I first learned that particles could behave as particles and waves the idea didn’t bother me. Even when I was a kid I always was thinking about objects being in superposition with each other, and when I found it that particles are in superposition with each other I wasn’t that surprised. Theoretical physics comes natural to me because of my abstract way of thinking.

    Because I always thought about physics when I was a kid I feel that physics has chosen me to study it. I feel very lucky that I’m one of the few people in the world who want to do physics and enjoy physics. I cannot imagine my self-being anything else in life besides a physicist despite my vast interests in history and philosophy. "

    This is a old college essay I wrote to be admitted into a undergraduate college years ago. I wonder how good or bad it is now. This critique might help others who are applying to college. Most likely this will be an example of what not to do lol.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2016
  2. jcsd
  3. Jan 18, 2016 #2

    Simon Bridge

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    ... I'd say it was the other way around, but it is unclear what this sentence means.
    But the essay shows enthusiasm for the topic and the ability to string English-language sentences together which is probably all anyone is looking for. It would take a workaholic to actually read all the essays submitted in enough detail to go further than that.

    Do you have a particular concern or question about the essay?
     
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