Did My Mom's Heart Attack Change Our Plans?

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Discussion Overview

The thread centers around the personal experience of a participant, Rhody, who recently lost their mother to a heart attack. The discussion encompasses themes of grief, loss, and the emotional impact of such events, as well as reflections on memories and support from the community. Participants share their condolences and personal stories related to loss.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Meta-discussion

Main Points Raised

  • Rhody shares the details of their mother's sudden heart attack and the emotional toll it has taken.
  • Several participants express their condolences and share personal reflections on grief and loss.
  • Some participants discuss different ways of coping with death, emphasizing the individuality of the grieving process.
  • Rhody recounts two significant incidents that occurred during their visit to Colorado, which they interpret as meaningful or coincidental connections to their mother.
  • Another participant shares their experience of cleaning out their mother's house and the community's response to her passing.
  • There are expressions of support and offers to be there for Rhody during this difficult time.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally agree on the importance of expressing condolences and sharing support. However, there are differing views on how to cope with grief, with some advocating for celebration of life while others emphasize the pain of loss.

Contextual Notes

Participants' responses reflect a range of personal experiences and coping mechanisms, highlighting the subjective nature of grief and the varying ways individuals process loss.

Who May Find This Useful

Individuals dealing with grief, those seeking support in times of loss, and anyone interested in community responses to personal tragedies may find this discussion relevant.

rhody
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To all,

Yesterday mid morning my Mom had a heart attack at home in Grand Junction, Colorado. Fortunately her close neighbor was there to call 911 who responded immediately. Unfortunately it was so massive there was nothing that could have saved her. I have since spoken to the neighbor, and had a chance to share Mom's last thoughts which was of some comfort. She will be buried next to my Dad in Williamstown, Mass, who passed away in 2008 after suffering from Alzheimer's. Needless to say, I will miss them both. Mom was planning to sell her house and move back east to be closer to us, but due to the tight housing market their were no offers on her house. A sad day.

Rhody...
 
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There is not anything appropriate I can think of saying, other than that I am sorry for you.
 
rhody said:
To all,

Yesterday mid morning my Mom had a heart attack at home in Grand Junction, Colorado. Fortunately her close neighbor was there to call 911 who responded immediately. Unfortunately it was so massive there was nothing that could have saved her. I have since spoken to the neighbor, and had a chance to share Mom's last thoughts which was of some comfort. She will be buried next to my Dad in Williamstown, Mass, who passed away in 2008 after suffering from Alzheimer's. Needless to say, I will miss them both. Mom was planning to sell her house and move back east to be closer to us, but due to the tight housing market their were no offers on her house. A sad day.

Rhody...
My condolences to you, rhody.
You will not "get through" your grief, ever, but will gradually, in verbal and non-verbal ways understand how your Mom and Dad has shaped you, and will remain sources of inspiration within your life.
With time, your grief will become a gratitude towards them, and it will be natural for you to re-visit them in private moments of your mind.
 
Very sorry to hear this rhody. Sincerest condolences.
 
I'm so sorry to hear this, rhody. My thoughts are with you and your family.
 
My condolences, Rhody
 
My condolences to you and your family at this sad time.
 
I'm deeply sorry to read this, but as someone already said, there are no appropriate words.
I can only wish you strength to overcome this suffering.
 
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Unfortunate news, I hope you are ok. My condolences.
 
  • #10
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Rhody. My condolences to you and your family.
 
  • #11
I am so very sorry to hear this Rhody. How are you doing?
 
  • #12
My condolences. Take care of yourself and talk to your loved ones while you get through this. Best regards.
 
  • #13
My condolences Rhody, that's really sad to hear. We are here for you, anytime you need help or need to talk to someone.
 
  • #14
Wow Rhody, I'm really sorry to hear this. Can't imagine what it's like losing a parent. I hope you're all right.
 
  • #15
I just shed a tear as I read your post, it must be tough... My condolences to you sir.
 
  • #16
Rhody, please accept my condolences to you and your family.
 
  • #17
I am very sorry, Rhody. I offer my condolences and hope that this process goes as smoothly as possible for you and your family.
 
  • #18
This news actually brought tears to my eyes. I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your dearest mom, Rhody. My sincere condolences to you and your family.
 
  • #19
I am so sorry, Rhody.
 
  • #20
Sorry to hear it, my condolences.
 
  • #21
That is such sad news, sending all good thoughts your way.
 
  • #22
Thoughts that helped me through the deaths of my parents were anecdotes from their friends and coworkers - stories I had never known about them.
 
  • #23
My condolences Rhody. RIP dear lady.
 
  • #24
My mother died in May and like you I am now an orphan. Today I went to work on cleaning out her house so we can sell it. As we were taking stuff to the sidewalk, people would stop and ask us what happed to the old lady who lived there. Half a dozen in an hour's period. It helps to know how many people miss her besides her family.
 
  • #25
Our condolences to you and your family, Rhody.
 
  • #26
I'm so sorry to hear that. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I know what it's like to lose someone that you love, it's not easy. You will be in my thoughts through this tough time.
 
  • #27
Jimmy Snyder said:
My mother died in May and like you I am now an orphan. Today I went to work on cleaning out her house so we can sell it. As we were taking stuff to the sidewalk, people would stop and ask us what happed to the old lady who lived there. Half a dozen in an hour's period. It helps to know how many people miss her besides her family.

I still cling onto my childhood home (now house), its contents and its yard. These are small consolation to the memories of my caring parents.
 
  • #28
Everyone treats death in their own way, Rhody. My choice is not to grieve one's passing, but to celebrate having had that person in my life. My ex (W) would cry incessantly for a couple of days over someone that she'd only met once 20 years ago and never thought of since. Each to his/her own.
I'm an Atheist, so no prayers for you from my direction. Please know, though, that in whatever ritual or observance or belief that you hold, you have my support from afar. I'm sure that you can cope with this, and hope that the sincere responses that you have garnered in this thread will help to ease your way.
 
  • #29
I'm really sorry, Rhody, and you and your family have our condolences.
 
  • #30
First, thanks for your kind and comforting words.

I am in Colorado and attending to Mom's affairs. Due to a serendipitous set of circumstances I wanted to relate two incidents that give one pause...

I was real tired after a long day of travel, got to see Mom to pay my respects, about 4:30 am I hear a low battery alarm on one of the smoke detectors in the house, so I pull both batteries. At the same time something light that sounded like leaves hit the roof of the house, which can't be because there are no trees nearby, and no rain when I looked out the window. Needless to say I got chills. When I got up this morning, I tested the 9 volt batteries with my tongue, they both gave me a good buzz, so I put them back in the detectors. So far as of mid afternoon all is quiet with them, no low battery alarms. If they go bad sometime soon I will chalk it up to coincidence. If they last the entire week without beeping again, it does make you wonder. At least for me. On to incident #2.

Mom's old truck is not reliable, so today being a Saturday, a car rental company picked me up, drove me to the rental place. Nothing unusual so far, right, on the way back something said to take the business district route. Now it gets interesting. Back up a year or so ago, Mom was recovering from a shattered kneecap, so I called a local restaurant to see if they would deliver her some food to lift her spirits. I didn't know it at the time but the manager of the restaurant delivered it for free. This this place doesn't do take out. Needless to say I was blown away, spoke to the manager after to thank him and wrote to corporate saying what a wonderful person he was for bring so kind.

Now comes the part that blew me away, as I am driving through a business district, lots of traffic, malls, etc... out of the corner of my eye I recognize the restaurant whose manager was special to my Mom. I promised him the last time we spoke if I was ever in town I wanted to meet him to thank him personally. I went and and sadly found out that he moved recently to Denver. However, the new manager knew him well and promised to relay my gratitude. Then, I order lunch. Mind you, the time between my order and when I got the check wasn't more than 20 minutes. The new manager handed me the check, free. I was shocked, and overcome with emotion, then the entire wait staff, present me with a dozen red roses and a sympathy card signed by each of them. They were behind him. At that point I lost it. I looked each one in the eye and expressed sincere gratitude that was beyond words. Kindness from complete strangers. amazing, maybe there is hope for us here on Earth after all.

Rhody...

P.S. and it just so happened that a UPS store was right next door where I could buy boxes. How convenient, and amazing at the same time. The main point of the story is that sometimes if you listen to your instincts, amazing things happen.

I plan to write corporate headquarters to acknowledge and thank the wait staff at that restaurant. Hopefully the same good fortune will come around to each of them in the future when they need it most.

links to: flowers, card thumbnails below:
 

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