MHB Doctor, Doctor Jokes: Tom Jones Syndrome

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    Doctor Jokes
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The discussion features a series of humorous "Doctor, doctor!" jokes that play on common ailments and quirky patient behaviors. Each joke follows a similar format, where patients express unusual symptoms or concerns, and the doctor responds with a witty or pun-filled remark. Key themes include misunderstandings about medical conditions, clever wordplay, and absurd scenarios, such as a patient feeling like a pair of curtains or a bridge. The humor relies on puns and the unexpected twists in the doctor's responses, creating a light-hearted take on the doctor-patient dynamic. Overall, the jokes emphasize the comedic potential of everyday medical interactions.
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"Doctor, doctor!
.People always ignore me!"

"Next!"
"Doctor, doctor!
I have this compulsion to sing Delilah."

"You have Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is that a rare disease?"

"It's not unusual."
 
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"Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I do this!"

"Then don't."
 
Copied from a joke site:

Doctor, Doctor
I can't stop stealing things
Take these pills for a week; if that doesn't work I'll have a color TV!

Doctor, Doctor
What can I do? I think I'm a pair of curtains?
Pull yourself together man!

Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a bridge?
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.

Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm god?
How did that start?
In the beginning there was darkness...

Doctor, Doctor
Every bone in my body aches!
Just be glad you aren't a herring!

Doctor, Doctor
Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!

Doctor, Doctor
I think I've broken my neck?
Don't worry - keep your chin up!

Doctor Doctor
My daughter has just swallowed my pen - what shall I do?
Use a pencil!

Doctor Doctor
What can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar?
I find that very hard to believe!

Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a pack of cards?
I'll deal with you later!

Doctor, Doctor
You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!

Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a spoon?
Still still and don't stir!

Doctor, Doctor
Every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this stabbing pain in my eye!
I suggest you take the spoon out!

Doctor, Doctor
My irregular heartbeat is really frightening me.
Don't worry - we'll soon put a stop to it!

Doctor, Doctor
Please help me. I think I'm invisible
Next Please!

Doctor, Doctor
I've just swallowed my mouth organ
Well look on the bright side, at least you weren't playing a grand piano!

Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a cat?
How long has this been going on?
Oh, since I was a kitten I guess!

Doctor, Doctor
I've got insomnia
Just sit on the edge of the bed. You'll soon drop off!
 
Doctor, doctor
Give me the news
I've got a bad case of lovin' you.

-(Rock)
 

"Doctor, Doctor! .I'm having deja vu!"
"You told me that this morning."

"Doctor, doctor! .I think I'm invisible!"
"Who said that?"

"Doctor, doctor! .I'm losing my memory!"
"How long has this been going on?"
"How long has what been going on?"

"Doctor, doctor! .I broke my leg in two places!"
"Well, stay out of those places."

"Doctor, give it to me straight. .How long do I have?"
"Ten ..."
"Ten what? .Years? .Months? . Weeks?"
"... nine ... eight ... "

Dentist: "You have a large mouth. .You have a large mouth."
Patient: "You don't have to repeat it."
Dentist" "I didn't."
 
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Hello scientists, engineers, etc. I have not had any questions for you recently, so have not participated here. I was scanning some material and ran across these 2 ads. I had posted them at another forum, and I thought you may be interested in them as well. History is fascinating stuff! Some houses may have had plugs, but many homes just screwed the appliance into the light socket overhead. Does anyone know when electric wall plugs were in widespread use? 1906 ad DDTJRAC Even big...
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