Embarrassing Mishaps: My Latest Key Fiasco and Office Lockout Adventure

[Ibix]

Any of y'all ever tried to chase a squirrel out of an optics lab?

No, but I know a guy who broke a very expensive mirror while trying to prevent a fly from landing on it.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Well, if we can ignore the 'recently'.

Sort of a toss-up between these two.

1)
I was a teenager with a Model-T Ford Spark Coil (ignition coil). The interrupter (ignition points, on the primary side) was tightened down to remain closed and it was connected to a step-down transformer from a toy electric train. Could still draw a spark from the secondary. Somehow I ended up with my hands on opposite ends of the secondary (high voltage winding). Hand and arm muscles stayed contracted so I couldn't let go. Fortunately I was experimenting while sitting on the bed and used the remainder of my body to throw myself away from that alligator.

During the Christmas break my Freshman year of college, I got the idea of making a loudspeaker that moves air molecules directly using electric fields. The idea was to ionize a region of air and operate on that with the electric fields. So I needed high voltage DC. I managed to conjure up a DC circuit but had to build my own 50,000 volt capacitor. So I made an oil capacitor using metal plates. It was crude but functional.

The first efforts seemed to get results of a kind but I wasn't sure what was happening. As I was moving my ear around to determine the source of the sound, I got too close to my capacitor and took 50,000 volts right up the nose!

 

[DaveE]

Any of y'all ever tried to chase a squirrel out of an optics lab? It's a singularly humiliating experience.

What was the problem with that guy? Wouldn't wear his safety glasses?

 

[Twigg]

That little punk had his butt in the beampath! I was wondering why my trapped atoms suddenly disappeared, looked up and saw him, and I thought I was hallucinating for a second. Had to clean his hairs off the optics! And his misaligned stuff scurrying around.

At least I wasn't using a YAG. The whole lab would've smelled like squirrel flambé.

 

[nsaspook]

Spend a week in Vegas drunk at various pools during a 110+ heat wave.

 

[Ibix]

At least I wasn't using a YAG. The whole lab would've smelled like squirrel flambé.

A friend of a friend had partial sight loss from an accident with a high power laser. The dumb thing was having a beam path you could walk through.

My friend had just joined the lab and was told he was volunteering to be laser safety officer. He was exactly the right man for the job - the kind of person who had no problem telling senior types that no they were not doing X any more.

 

[DaveE]

A friend of a friend had partial sight loss from an accident with a high power laser. The dumb thing was having a beam path you could walk through.

My friend had just joined the lab and was told he was volunteering to be laser safety officer. He was exactly the right man for the job - the kind of person who had no problem telling senior types that no they were not doing X any more.

I worked at one of the big laser companies for a long time. Everything we did was Class 4 stuff. I was always surprised at how cavalier the older laser guys were their laser beams. Many had stories of retina damage. The one I remember most was the story of a guy that saw red stuff coming out of the wall, that was the blood leaving his retina. The de facto rule for safety glasses in the R&D labs was often "you put them on when you think you are doing something really dangerous and you're not in a hurry". There were a couple of guys I didn't want to be in the room with; a couple of labs I didn't really want to go in unannounced. No warning lights, interlocks, etc. People would come and go into the labs when ever they wanted, nothing was locked up. On the manufacturing floor (open plan) the techs would often yell out "mode check" and put a concave mirror into the beam path of big ion lasers (1 - 30W) and shine it up on the wall far away.

When I started in the 1980's the whole laser business was a cowboy/start-up environment. Our power supplies (up to 50KW, 480V 3 phase) had no safety approvals, for example. There were some pretty close calls with bad designs. However, when I left after 20 years the safety attitude was completely different, very well controlled. That was after they decided they had to hire a safety officer.

 

[Twigg]

A friend of a friend had partial sight loss from an accident with a high power laser. The dumb thing was having a beam path you could walk through.

You're right. There was no YAG (or any other high power laser) on the experiment I was talking about, and if there was the beam path would've been enclosed. I just mentioned a YAG as a joke.

I was always surprised at how cavalier the older laser guys were their laser beams. Many had stories of retina damage.

To be honest, I won't say I'm perfectly safe with low power beams (I don't mess around with high power or high levels of other risk), but man I didn't think that level of deviance existed...

the techs would often yell out "mode check" and put a concave mirror into the beam path of big ion lasers (1 - 30W) and shine it up on the wall far away.

That's just nutters. Sure, I've done procedures like that where I look at the mode far away from the table, but never with anything even logarithmically close to that level of power, I do it when there's low traffic, and I put up signage and I tell people ahead of time. I'm sorry you had to work with people who thought so little of their coworkers wellbeing.

There were some pretty close calls with bad designs.

I feel like we could have a very long conversation about interlock designs haha Even some of the modern ones I've seen have left me seriously scratching my head. There's nothing worse than a safety feature that doesn't keep you safe AND is still annoying!

Also, on an unrelated note, I've never liked the laser power class system. I've seen it lure people into a false sense of security, and get them worked up over well-controlled systems. The classic story I've heard several times is when people underestimate low-energy, fast-pulsed Ti:Sapphs, when in reality they're some of the sketchiest lasers that are commercially available. (They can produce light anywhere in the visible at high instantaneous power, meaning if you wanted safety goggles that give you full protection, you wouldn't be able to see anything through them.)

Anyways, there's my rant of the month

 

[DaveE]

I'm sorry you had to work with people who thought so little of their coworkers wellbeing.

I'm not sorry. It was more fun back then and I learned a lot. Much better than my previous job of ultra hi-rel power supply design. I did one design that took a 6-12 months to do and then I spent most of the next year analyzing it to prove it met all of the Mil-Specs for it's intended use; then I quit. We weren't allowed to use any "new" devices, they didn't have proven reliability (ugh!). In their defense, that was the sort of thing where you don't get any second chances, it HAD TO be right.

 

[Twigg]

I hear you on that. I honestly don't think I could stay sane in that kind of position.

 

[LCSphysicist]

Lost a book from the library of my university...

 

[DennisN]

A couple of days ago I put five of my camera lenses (not super expensive, but still expensive) on a table since I was about to measure them in order to get some proper boxes for them. I also put a cup of newly brewed coffee on the table.

Before I even had a chance of drinking the coffee, I managed to strike the cup with my hand and ALL of the coffee poured out on the table. Luckily, only one lens got "coffee damage". It could have turned out much worse.

 

[gmax137]

camera lenses

I was taking pictures one Sunday morning on a rocky beach in Maine. I came across a lens case, with "Canon" printed on it, just sitting there in the middle of the rocks. It proved to be a new and very expensive lens. Just then, I saw a car enter the parking lot at high speed, skidding to a stop. A young woman jumped out and ran across the beach. She took the lens and case out of my hands, "oh thank you thank you THANK YOU so much..." Then she ran off towards the car, saying "I'm late for the wedding." Finally burning rubber leaving the parking lot. It was all over so fast, I wondered if I imagined the whole thing.

 

[DennisN]

new and very expensive lens

I've only got quite affordable lenses, many vintage lenses (except the kit zoom lens and two other, I think). One advantage besides being affordable is that I wouldn't be very upset if I damaged or lost one. The only thing I would mind damaging or losing is the camera.

High-end lenses can be RIDICULOUSLY expensive.

When I bought my mirrorless Sony camera, I remember finding a small note inside the box which offered some discount when buying a new Sony lens. That made me a bit excited, and I went to the Sony page to look at the lenses. The prices were ridiculous, many or most of them were more expensive than the camera. So, no new Sony lens for me.

Edit: By the way, here is a RIDICULOUSLY expensive vintage lens, the Nikkor 13mm f/5.6, the "holy grail" of lenses. Pricing info here (at KenRockwell.com).

Pricing. You don't want to read this part. This was Nikon's most expensive of all its expensive lenses. [...]

 

[pinball1970]

I've only got quite affordable lenses, many vintage lenses (except the kit zoom lens and two other, I think). One advantage besides being affordable is that I wouldn't be very upset if I damaged or lost one. The only thing I would mind damaging or losing is the camera.

High-end lenses can be RIDICULOUSLY expensive.

When I bought my mirrorless Sony camera, I remember finding a small note inside the box which offered some discount when buying a new Sony lens. That made me a bit excited, and I went to the Sony page to look at the lenses. The prices were ridiculous, many or most of them were more expensive than the camera. So, no new Sony lens for me.

Besides my kit at work ( which is actually works) my portable personal tech kit is quite old and make do. My device for pf for eg is a Hudl, it's old and does not charge so well. I decided to spoil myself and bought a brand spanking new charger, £9 no less.
I got to the pub, table with a near by plug, beer on table, newspaper on table, charger in Hudl, phone, hot spot, lots of stuff small table. Anyway the Hudl hit the ground end on, max force right on the usb port. I extracted it at 45 degrees expecting it to snap right off. It was out of the packaging for 20-30 seconds? It's still going but I am VERY careful with it now.

 

[pinball1970]

I've only got quite affordable lenses, many vintage lenses (except the kit zoom lens and two other, I think). One advantage besides being affordable is that I wouldn't be very upset if I damaged or lost one. The only thing I would mind damaging or losing is the camera.

High-end lenses can be RIDICULOUSLY expensive.

When I bought my mirrorless Sony camera, I remember finding a small note inside the box which offered some discount when buying a new Sony lens. That made me a bit excited, and I went to the Sony page to look at the lenses. The prices were ridiculous, many or most of them were more expensive than the camera. So, no new Sony lens for me.

Edit: By the way, here is a RIDICULOUSLY expensive vintage lens, the Nikkor 13mm f/5.6, the "holy grail" of lenses. Pricing info here (at KenRockwell.com).

When you said ridiculously expensive you were NOT kidding!

 

[Astronuc]

Also ignoring 'recent' in favor of historical

I was a teenager with a Model-T Ford Spark Coil (ignition coil). The interrupter (ignition points, on the primary side) was tightened down to remain closed and it was connected to a step-down transformer from a toy electric train. Could still draw a spark from the secondary. Somehow I ended up with my hands on opposite ends of the secondary (high voltage winding). Hand and arm muscles stayed contracted so I couldn't let go. Fortunately I was experimenting while sitting on the bed and used the remainder of my body to throw myself away from that alligator.

This reminded me of the time I manually disconnected the cable from the spark plug of a lawnmover, while it was running, because it wouldn't stop. It felt like I got hit with a sledgehammer. I flew backwards onto the driveway pavement.

Also, about the same time,

1. I jumped off a fence in the back yard, and managed to catch the steel clothes line under my chin. I flipped horizontal and fell onto the ground.

2. I was running though the house and decided to jump up and grab the horizontal door trim. Well, I stopped, my feet went up to the point I was vertical, and I fell backwards onto the floor and smacked my head. I literally saw a flash of light and 'stars'.

3. I was in a grocery store that had automatic doors. They were activated the old fashioned way by standing on a pressure pad. Well, after entering the store, I noticed that the pad to the outside actually protruded underneath the door. So, I thought I would test my agility, so I stepped on the pad expecting to jump away from the door. The door was faster than I was, so it opened on top of my foot, and it scrapped my foot over a metal frame. I cut open tow or three toes, and I had to hobble to my mom to let her know. Meanwhile, I left a trail of blood from the entry door to where my mom was in the store. She had to stop shopping and take me home, where she washed my foot and then applied an antiseptic spray that stung.

4. My brother and I used to race our bicycles down the sidewalk, lock the rear brake, and lay a 'scratch' (skid mark). One time, I was doing this, with a crowd of kids standing on either side of the sidewalk in front of the house. My little sister saw the crowd and decided she wanted to join the action. She ran to the sidewalk, but tried to get to the other side, just as I arrived and applied the rear brake. The edge of the handlebar caught her forehead and knocked her back. As she ran screaming back into the house, I was flying over the handlebar landing on my head and back. When the handlebar hit her forehead, the front wheel rotated 90 degrees and the bike (and me) flipped. My sister and I both had concussions. I remember blacking out then slowly getting up from the sidewalk and checking on my sister in the house.

I've had some close calls over the years.

As an adult, there have been a few times when I was driving a bit to fast for the conditions. One time, I came to a T-intersection and thought I was could slow and stop. Across the street from the intersection was a line of trees and a slope down to a farm. Well, I hit some ice and I couldn't stop. So I aimed for a spot between two trees, and steered the car between the trees and down the embankment. Fortunately, I guy was passing by in his pickup track, and he just happened to have a tow rope. He was kind enough to help me pull my car up the embankment and onto the rode, so I didn't have to call a towing service, or my wife to tell her I was going to be late because I drove off the road.

 

[Keith_McClary]

historical

Nowadays you could have a youtube channel.

 

[jbriggs444]

In the '70's, my family was camped in a cow pasture inside of a bend on the Upper Iowa river. This was a popular spot for camping and canoeing on the Upper Iowa. (Bluffton, near Decorah).

On the outside of the bend were some vertical limestone bluffs. Near the top of the bluffs was a hole that I decided to investigate. Limestone bluffs are quite easy to scale. All sorts of horizontal crevices to grab with fingers or get toe-holds on. The rock is often loose however and one does need to test the sturdiness of the hand-holds.

I get 20 or 30 feet up and about ready to look in the hole and think to myself: "What if the hole is occupied. If so, I will be startled and could well let go of my perch, falling to the rocks below. Even if I am not startled into a fall, how could I defend myself against even a small critter inside the hole? Wow, this is a stupid thing I am doing!"

I peeked in the hole, saw nothing of interest and climbed back down.

 

[jbriggs444]

Not recent and not actually dumb in my opinion. This was on my wedding day.

I went out to a local supermarket to buy a pack of white ankle socks for my wife-to-be so that she would have something to wear. It is not clear whether the cashier believed the explanation of their purpose.

We get married at a small ceremony in a country church, close friends and family attending. When we kneel some words are revealed, written in white-out on the soles of our shoes: "Free cursor" on hers and "Bound cursor on mine", those being our text editing preferences.

Once the ceremony was over, we head over to the reception in a meeting room at a nearby Holiday Inn. There were small children, so we had some small (like 2-3 ounce) bottles of bubble mix and wands for entertainment. My brother and I learned that there were wasp's nests out on the balcony. So whipping out the swiss army knife from my pocket, I bore a hole in the caps of two bottles of bubble mix. Grinning like idiots, my brother and I go out on the balcony and attack the nests with streams of soapy water.

It would be hard to plan a better day.

Still married some 30+ years later. And still sharing a disdain for large or costly weddings.

 

[DaveC426913]

Fix a backed up kitchen sink in eight (and a half) easy steps:

1. Use a bucket empty as much backed up water as possible from the sink into the toilet.
2. Place the bucket under the P trap to catch any remaining water and gunk.
3. Unscrew the drain cock in the P trap, let the gunk drain.
4. Pull the offending item (a teaspoon) out of the trap and clean out any built up gunk.
5. Celebrate! Pat yourself on the back for fixing the sink in 5 minutes flat.
6. Clean up: Dump the bucket out into the sink and down the drain.
7. Curse like a sailor, get the mop, mop up the gallon of sludge all under the sink and the kitchen floor.
5.5. Screw the drain cock back into the P trap!
8. Repeat step 6.

 

[Tom.G]

Fear not @DaveC426913, just consider this one Practice for it will assuredly Make the next one Perfect!

 

[Wrichik Basu]

Did a number of dumb things today.

It started with our practical class in college. For the experiment on verification of Malus Law, I was getting erratic readings. The professor guiding me had no idea about the apparatus. He said maybe the apparatus was faulty, or diffused light was creating the trouble. Took readings like that for 1.5 hours. Finally, we discovered that the laser beam was not aligned with the detector. These alignments are supposed to be done by the lab assistants, and they didn't do it. Took some readings hurriedly as my time was up. Results are looking pretty glum. Spoke to the HOD, probably she will try to assign me another day to the same experiment. But this glitch is already in my lab notebook.

Lesson learnt.

Returned home, and went to water the plants in our small garden on the terrace. I am alone at home currently because my parents are in another part of the country for Dad's treatment. I locked the door as I went upstairs. After some time, I realized that I had left the keys in the house. In short, I was locked out of my house.

Had a screwdriver in my pocket. Tried hard, but couldn't open the door. Luckily, had my phone with me. Called mom, who started panicking. Finally, I asked her to call one blacksmith who had worked for us in the past. He could open the door with a chisel.

Another lesson learnt.

 

[BillTre]

Its always good to know the best way to break into your house:

• climb in a second story window
• punch out a window so you can unlock door
• ...

 

[DaveC426913]

Its always good to know the best way to break into your house:

• climb in a second story window
• punch out a window so you can unlock door
• ...

• have your bride in her wedding dress and your minister boost your bridesmaid - in her bridemaid's dress - up to a ground floor bedroom window to get into retrieve the ring, a half hour before your wedding, while you and everyone else are waiting obliviously at the marriage venue...