Embarrassing Mishaps: My Latest Key Fiasco and Office Lockout Adventure

[fresh_42]

I was trying to recall the dumbest things I have done in my life. Turns out most of them involved driving very fast. I am really lucky I never died or killed someone. But one occasion in particular comes to mind: I was driving my 240Z down the I-5 just South of Red Bluff. I had a friend in the car with me. We were just over 18 years of age. Then what looked to be am Asian businessman pulled up along side me in an RX7. He was older and very nicely dressed. And he had a brand new car. He kept looking at me and jumping ahead like he wanted to race. So, why not?

We were a good match even though I had a passenger. We were neck and neck up to around 125 mph. But then he started pulling ahead and I was out of my torque range. I knew he had me beat. So I let my foot off the gas and allowed the car to slow down naturally. About the time I got down to 80 mph, TWO highway patrol cars flew past me like I wasn't moving! I dropped down to the speed limit and nervously proceeded. Before long we caught up to the cops. They were parked on the side of the road along with the guy I was racing. And he was already in hand cuffs! I took the next exit and hid under an overpass for about an hour.

I had a similar incident. We were driving on parallel lanes along the river on a wet, mixed with a bit of snowy road, winter evening and there was only one lane ahead of us, and we both wanted to be first. Then I saw a sign which demanded motorcyclists to severely slow down. I remembered the slippery underground there and decided: What's bad for motorbikes can't be good for cars. So I decided to lose the competition, put my foot off the gas, and dropped back. One second later, my competitor, now ahead of me, showed me a perfect pirouette, heavily sliding against the sidewalk inclusive. He definitely needed a new adjustment of his camber angels and toe - at least.

But I have been on the other side of such games, too. I was caught behind a slow-driving older pair which I couldn't overtake. All of a sudden there was a chance to overtake, 300 meters, and I took my chance. Well, after these 300 meters the old man overtook me again ... while I was talking with the cops...

 

[DaveE]

Since we seem to have given up on the "lately" part:

I recall some years ago working in the EE lab to get some frequency response data from my circuit.

[yes, y'all are correct about knowing where this story is going, because you've done it too.]

I connect the analyzer and get really strange plots, which I can't for the life of me figure out. After about an hour of increasingly complex troubleshooting, I stumble on to the fact that I didn't turn the power supply for the circuit on. Within about 5 minutes I have all of the data I expected.

BTW, not the only time I did that...

Slowly I've learned when troubleshooting: always start with the assumption that you're an idiot and the problem is simple. Revisit that assumption frequently if the problem is hard. Unfortunately the advice "don't be an idiot" is really hard to implement if you are, in fact, an idiot on occasion.

 

[Ibix]

I stumble on to the fact that I didn't turn the power supply for the circuit on.

Done that one.

always start with the assumption that you're an idiot and the problem is simple.

Yup. I once spent two days debugging something that turned out to be an integer divide bug in pretty much the first line of the program, a line that I hadn't checked because it was so simple and obviously right.

I did learn a lot about smart ways of debugging through that, though. Now I quite frequently home in directly on the piece of code that's wrong. Then I sometimes stare at what looks like perfectly fine code for ten minutes trying to work out if something's gone wrong with my debugging or if I'm too stupid to see what's wrong with this code. It's usually the "I'm stupid" explanation, as you say.

 

[hackenabush]

I messed up at work by not checking with the forklift operator if a sheet of wood for a CNC was indeed the one the CNC needed to work on. To say the least I am looking for a new job.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

But I have been on the other side of such games, too. I was caught behind a slow-driving older pair which I couldn't overtake. All of a sudden there was a chance to overtake, 300 meters, and I took my chance. Well, after these 300 meters the old man overtook me again ... while I was talking with the cops...

I've had one ticket in I think 30 years or more. I was in a hurry behind a slower car, on a winding mountain road, uphill, with a passing lane that was as it turned out, too short. It was probably one of the few times in 30 years I pushed it like that, something I normally wouldn't do, and I got caught!

Going back to my 240Z, one summer night when the moon was bright, I was on a very long, slight downgrade, with visibility for miles on an empty four-land highway, about 20 miles from Nowhere California. I had a passenger and we decided to see how fast we could go. We finally hit 148 mph. But as we were approaching max speed we started to drift. Slowly I began to turn the wheel to move us back to the center of the road but nothing happened. I turned the wheel a little more and still nothing happened. Then, ever so slowly, we began to drift back the other direction. So I turned the wheel the other way a little to stop the drift and... nothing happened... Finally I realized I wasn't really steering the car. The wheels and tires were apparently acting like rudders in the air and were not, or were barely making contact with the road.

 

[strangerep]

Going back to my 240Z, [...] We finally hit 148 mph. But as we were approaching max speed we started to drift. [...] The wheels and tires were apparently acting like rudders in the air and were not, or were barely making contact with the road.

I guess that back when 240Z's didn't have mega spoilers to hold the vehicle onto the road?
(Actually, I'm surprised a 240Z could even crack that speed. The specs suggest around 125-130 mph.)

Considering that the takeoff speed for a (fully laden) 747 is around 185mph, I'm surprised you didn't get into trouble with local air traffic control.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I guess that back when 240Z's didn't have mega spoilers to hold the vehicle onto the road?
(Actually, I'm surprised a 240Z could even crack that speed. The specs suggest around 125-130 mph.)

Considering that the takeoff speed for a (fully laden) 747 is around 185mph, I'm surprised you didn't get into trouble with local air traffic control.

I remember looking that up and was surprised by the numbers. I have wondered if the passenger and slight downgrade made it possible. I also have wondered how close I came to flipping the car. I don't know if that was possible of not. But when you can turn the wheel and nothing happens, something ain't right!

They were known for rolling on high speed turns. I came into one turn insanely fast and released the brake late. I think I was riding on one wheel for a moment. The entire car seemed to come off the ground and then thumped back down hard as I came out of the turn. I recall that it was a 15 mph hairpin turn that I hit doing about 60. Almost flipped it right into a solid rock wall.

PS and yes, no spoiler. And the tires weren't that great either. I know it could easily do over 125 mph on a level road. I did that many times.

 

[DaveC426913]

Considering that the takeoff speed for a (fully laden) 747 is around 185mph...

Nitpick: African? or European?

 

[Keith_McClary]

And the tires weren't that great either.

And the struts?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

And the struts?

Heh, probably not great. But MAN that car was as fun as it was dangerous. Had an MG Midget for a time as well. Fun fun fun! The MG was crazy fun for cornering but wasn't as dangerous because it wasn't as fast.

I was already married by the time I got the MG but the car kept trying to get me dates. LOL!

 

[strangerep]

[...] But MAN that car was as fun as it was dangerous. [...]

It's interesting to compare "muscle" cars of yesteryear to today. Back in the early 1980's I had a (2nd hand) Torana SL/R 5000 (one of the most powerful cars ever built in Australia). It would do 0-60 mph in about 6.5 sec, which seems quite tame by today's standards.

Today, my current (2017) Audi S5 (twin-turbo 3L V6) will go 0-60mph in about 4.7sec, and it's top speed (electronically limited) is rated as 155 mph. But I've never felt unsafe in it, with quattro AWD and a sport diff.

Even more silly is the Audi RS5 "Vorsprung" model which does 0-60 in 3.9sec, with max speed of 174 mph. An R8 can go to 200 mph.

I wish we had autobahns in Australia (sigh). Sadly, our motorways usually morph into parking lots within a few years.

I was already married by the time I got the MG but the car kept trying to get me dates. LOL!

My S5 turns heads -- until they see the grey hair on the driver. I thought about getting some personalized number plates that say "Hi Girls" (a joke of course), but at my age they'd probably laugh at it for the wrong reasons...

 

[berkeman]

I wish we had autobahns in Australia (sigh).

Do you have any track days available? Here in California many racetracks have a few track days a year, either sponsored by an auto club (like Porsche or BMW), or as part of high-performance driving/riding classes. They are great fun, and a reasonably safe way to fulfil the need for speed...

 

[Vanadium 50]

it's top speed (electronically limited) is rated as 155 mph

Have you checked this?

I've had Audis electronically limited to 130 and they will go above that. Or...um...so I've been told.

 

[fresh_42]

I wish we had autobahns in Australia (sigh).

They are rarely empty. I tried to maximize the average speed on a 410 miles distance several times and 90 mph on average was the best I could achieve due to traffic, construction sites, and speed limits. The car made about 125 mph, but even if that had been more, it wouldn't have affected the average speed very much, because traffic forces you to slow down long before you get behind another car.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

It's interesting to compare "muscle" cars of yesteryear to today. Back in the early 1980's I had a (2nd hand) Torana SL/R 5000 (one of the most powerful cars ever built in Australia). It would do 0-60 mph in about 6.5 sec, which seems quite tame by today's standards.

I often think of electric cars, their torque and performance, and how soon the loud roar of a powerful car engine will just seem primitive and obnoxious. But the Z series were sports cars, not muscle cars. They were very fun but definitely had flaws. The later models were much faster.

My S5 turns heads -- until they see the grey hair on the driver. I thought about getting some personalized number plates that say "Hi Girls" (a joke of course), but at my age they'd probably laugh at it for the wrong reasons...

Being single again I use every advantage I have. And they don't all laugh!

My current gf, who is much much younger than me, has a father (also younger than me) with an 800 HP Dodge Demon. She thinks that once she has the nerve to tell him about me (mom knows but not dad) and we have a chance to meet, he might let me borrow it. I'm not so sure about that but if he doesn't kill me first, perhaps.

Recently I was driving a brand new 500 HP Camero SS. That was fun!

 

[strangerep]

Do you have any track days available? Here in California many racetracks have a few track days a year, either sponsored by an auto club (like Porsche or BMW), or as part of high-performance driving/riding classes. They are great fun, and a reasonably safe way to fulfil the need for speed...

Yes, that sort of thing is available here. Also "advanced driving days" by Audi and Mercedes where you get to drive their most potent models. I thought about going to the Audi event nearest to me, but I'd need to get there by 8am through peakhour motorway traffic.

 

[strangerep]

Have you checked this?

Ha! No, of course not. On my nearest motorway the spacing between police traps tends to be such that (even if I knew exactly where they were at any given time) I could barely get up to max speed before having to brake in time for the next one.

The main benefit of my S5 these days is that, from the front, it looks so intimidating that drivers approaching the opposite way to a roundabout rarely try to beat me through if my turn signal is on.

I've had Audis electronically limited to 130 and they will go above that. Or...um...so I've been told.

Oh, you hoon!

I could of course get an after-market kit for around $1K that would increase my S5 to RS5 performance. But, alas, there's just no point. For my next car I think I'll go for a more "sedate" A6 e-tron.

 

[strangerep]

They are rarely empty. I tried to maximize the average speed on a 410 miles distance several times and 90 mph on average was the best I could achieve [...]

That's still very impressive by Australian standards. Here, the speed limit on motorways is only 100kph to 110kph in perfect conditions (that's kph, not mph).

 

[strangerep]

I often think of electric cars, their torque and performance, and how soon the loud roar of a powerful car engine will just seem primitive and obnoxious.

I've already thought that for a long time. When I realized how much better an Audi TTV6 is, compared to (say) a 5L (or even 6L) naturally aspirated V8, (and how much more fuel-efficient the Audi is when cruising) I became quite contemptuous of loud cars.

... and also loud motorbikes. About 10 years ago my neighbour decided to buy a truly ancient non-working Harley and made my life a misery for many weekends as he and his kids tried to get it going again. He said it was to "teach" his teenage kids a bit about how ICU engines work. (Yeah, right.)

His oldest (mid-teens) daughter was really interested in the work, but when they eventually got it going and she went for her first ride on the back it scared her so absolutely s***tless that she never rode on it ever again. Curiously, his youngest (tiny, pre-teen) daughter absolutely loved it and would ride everywhere on the back of the bike with dad. That little girl was absolutely fearless.

I'm so glad I don't live next to them anymore.

My current gf, who is much much younger than me, has a father (also younger than me) [...]

Oh! You DOG!

Recently I was driving a brand new 500 HP Camero SS. That was fun!

Is that the one that's rated to do 0-60mph in <4 sec?

This reminds of a (now slightly shameful) story [heh, this a "dumb deeds" thread, right?] from a few years ago soon after I got my S5. There's a section of 2-lane road a few kms from me where there's some traffic lights immediately followed by a rather short forced merger onto a single lane bridge (i.e., no sideroom for errors). One day I stopped at those lights, and a black Mustang 5L V8 then pulled up beside me, obviously intending to drag off and beat me into the single lane. (An S5 looks quite ordinary from the rear so she probably though dragging me off would be easy.) So,... hmm,... what to do? Well, to my shame, I popped my S5 into "sport" mode and positioned my feet accordingly. Lights turned green, and... "punch it Chewey"! She was quite surprised that I was easily accelerating faster than she was, so she had to quickly brake and drop in behind me. (The other cars behind us at the lights had barely moved.)

I felt a bit bad after that -- I'll never do such a DUMB silly thing again.

 

[berkeman]

I thought about going to the Audi event nearest to me, but I'd need to get there by 8am through peakhour motorway traffic.

My workday alarm is 0400. My buddies who fish routinely get up at 0200 to pursue a great day of fishing. How willing are you to set an alarm to go 150mph into turn #1?

 

[strangerep]

My workday alarm is 0400. [...]

Ah, you're a better (and probably healthier) man than I am (sigh).

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I've already thought that for a long time. When I realized how much better an Audi TTV6 is, compared to (say) a 5L (or even 6L) naturally aspirated V8, (and how much more fuel-efficient the Audi is when cruising) I became quite contemptuous of loud cars.

... and also loud motorbikes. About 10 years ago my neighbour decided to buy a truly ancient non-working Harley and made my life a misery for many weekends as he and his kids tried to get it going again. He said it was to "teach" his teenage kids a bit about how ICU engines work. (Yeah, right.)

We had a similar situation with a neighbor and his Snortin Norton. We had a 5 acre places 10 miles from the nearest town. We lived out in the sticks where it is supposed to be quiet. But every weekend we had to listen to him mowing 3 acres, which took pretty much all day, and then the sound his Norton coughing and choking and backfiring while he worked on it.

Oh! You DOG!

She's gorgeous too! I could write a book. In fact my closest friend has been telling me to do so for years now. I never imagined that at this point in my life...! And she isn't the first. Turns out that sometimes nice guys win. You just have to be willing to dive in.

Is that the one that's rated to do 0-60mph in <4 sec?

I don't know but that sounds about right. It would probably pass the $100 bill test - where you tape a $100 bill to the dash and tell any passenger they can have it if they can grab it when I have the pedal to the metal.

This reminds of a (now slightly shameful) story [heh, this a "dumb deeds" thread, right?] from a few years ago soon after I got my S5. There's a section of 2-lane road a few kms from me where there's some traffic lights immediately followed by a rather short forced merger onto a single lane bridge (i.e., no sideroom for errors). One day I stopped at those lights, and a black Mustang 5L V8 then pulled up beside me, obviously intending to drag off and beat me into the single lane. (An S5 looks quite ordinary from the rear so she probably though dragging me off would be easy.) So,... hmm,... what to do? Well, to my shame, I popped my S5 into "sport" mode and positioned my feet accordingly. Lights turned green, and... "punch it Chewey"! She was quite surprised that I was easily accelerating faster than she was, so she had to quickly brake and drop in behind me. (The other cars behind us at the lights had barely moved.)

I felt a bit bad after that -- I'll never do such a DUMB silly thing again.

For me it was racing a guy in town when I had an open container. We got caught and were pulled over. We had to get out of the car and were interrogated, at which time I admitted I had been drinking. "But I'm not too drunk to drive" I quickly added in desperation. Then I mumbled, "but I guess you won't believe that just because I say so..." which he heard and responded, "I might". And I was still too young to drink! He never searched the car so he never found the booze. And I think I got off with a warning. Apparently the other guy tried to lie his way out and made the cop mad. He didn't get off with a warning.

Moral of my two stories: Don't race me or you will go directly to jail.

 

[strangerep]

View attachment 285830
She's gorgeous too!

Wait! That's your girlfriend?? I agree she's cute, but,... hmmm.

Oh hang on,... I see. That's not her -- that's you after... <ahem>...

You just have to be willing to dive in.

And the double entendres just keep coming.

I don't know but that sounds about right. It would probably pass the $100 bill test - where you tape a $100 bill to the dash and tell any passenger they can have it if they can grab it when I have the pedal to the metal.

Heh, I never heard of that. Now I wish I'd tried it with the Audi salesman who brought me an RS5 for testdrive when I was thinking of upgrading my S5.

 

[2milehi]

I had to travel for work a couple of months ago. The rental car companies had sold off so many cars during the pandemic that they were struggling to supply cars. As a result, I ended up getting a free upgrade to a 500 hp Camero SS because it was all they had left. Bummer.

The bad thing was that I couldn't keep my foot off the gas. And whenever I punched it, my glasses flew off and landed on the back seat.

Camaro...sorry pet peeve I have.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Camaro...sorry pet peeve I have.

You would think that after this many years the spelling would be burned into my mind. It has been one of my favorite cars since I was a kid.

 

[gmax137]

OK, keeping with the car theme. Here's my stupidest non-driving move:
I had a VW Scirocco (many many years ago) and one Saturday morning it just wouldn't start for me. So I spent most of the weekend under the hood, outdoors in the snow. Finally diagnosed dirty fuel injectors; I remember it was a bit of a job to get them out and cleaned. Once I got it back together, still no luck. I finally listened to my wiser buddy, and we put a gallon or two of gasoline in the tank. Instant success...

Stupidest driving move: Again with the Scirocco, a few years earlier. Driving around the hills outside Charlottesville, VA. Twisty road, trapped behind a real slow-poke in a big sedan. He finally slowed even more, to pull into a gas station on the right. As soon as he slowed, I downshifted and moved left (into the oncoming lane) so I wouldn't have to slow while he turned off. Just as I pulled out, a dump truck with a big snow plow appeared around the bend, coming my way. I put the pedal to the medal and got back into my lane with "adequate" time before the plow came by. At nearly the same instant, I see the flashing red lights behind me, I am pulled over. The cop says, "what was all that about?" so I started to tell him about the "lame a$$hole" I was passing. "really," he says, "that was me" oops.

 

[Filip Larsen]

Years back my wife and I received our first training bike, all I had to do was to assemble it. Easy peasy, there weren't that many parts and I am an engineer after all, so I can do this with a mere glance over the instructions. And everything did went fine until I got around to the last parts, the pedals. One of the pedals went on nicely, but the other one?! I tried, and I tried for like 15 minutes, but the thread just wouldn't catch on. Eventually I was cursing very loudly throwing stuff around, and fuming that I now had to ship the whole damn broken thing back for replacement. After cooling off a bit in resignation my mind started to replay my actions, apparently eager to solve work the problem even if I was still mostly just inclined to kick the damn thing, and then suddenly I had one of those moments where you slap your forehead and laugh about how stupid you'd just been, went over and smoothly screwed the damn pedal on.

(Since this is PF, I think it will be more instructive not to tell what the issue was, although I'm sure everyone who has been assembling a bike will know, and maybe even done what I did too unless they cheated and read the instructions carefully).

 

[strangerep]

(Since this is PF, I think it will be more instructive not to tell what the issue was, although I'm sure everyone who has been assembling a bike will know, and maybe even done what I did too unless they cheated and read the instructions carefully).

I've never assembled a bike, but I have changed a blade on an SCMS.

So I'm guessing... left-handed thread?

 

[Ibix]

cheated and read the instructions carefully

 

[Filip Larsen]

So I'm guessing... left-handed thread?

Spot on.