Expelled from university. What do?

[the_outsider]

Hi Forumers,

>*Don't really expect an answer but merely an alternative path of thought*

I've got expelled from universities twice already, and contrary to my family's wishes decided to give up on higher education altogether and try to work my way up without a degree.

Spring semester just began and my father is coercing me (offering to pay tuition) to enroll in a _community college_ and pretty much give it a fresh start. He expects an answer by *today*.

I've made up my mind already. I've many job options. I started working as a freelance programmer/website designer and a waiter at night and considering i don't have almost any expenses at the present time living with my uncle (left home years ago, haven't seen my parents ever since but talk to them on regular basis) i calculated i can put off around $50K a year and invest it after a a few years, hoping it multiplies manifold.

My dream is to work as a scientist which requires university _degrees_ but i am well comfortable working with computers - my second passion.

I don't know which way I should go. The whole situation brought me a neurosis. I go from crying to anger/frustration episodes where i walk around the house holding my head and telling myself aloud what a ****ed up idiot i am to cause this whole situation like this in the first place. I fear my inner want to go both ways is splitting my mental integrity and making me insane.

And then Robert Frost's poem comes to my mind about the road less traveled by and i feel like it's the way i should go.

What do you guys think?

Thanks

ps: Posted on other forums as well. so far ->
5 for go get degree b/ it's a standard regardless of career.. 1 go own way; doesn't work go back to school.

ps2: inb4 what I did: expulsion grounds were 'hacking' & trespassing.

 

[mathwonk]

Unfortunately, hacking and trespassing are unacceptable also in the working, and investing world. You would benefit from learning some maturity and responsibility. I was hoping it was just school burnout that could be cured by a boring real world job. But repeated (rather than one time only) borderline criminal behavior reveals deeper problems at merging with society. Maybe counseling or finding a responsible mentor whom you respect enough to listen to him/her? Good luck, you seem to be at least close to asking for help at changing your situation.

 

[kaos86]

Hi Forumers,

>*Don't really expect an answer but merely an alternative path of thought*

I've got expelled from universities twice already, and contrary to my family's wishes decided to give up on higher education altogether and try to work my way up without a degree.

Spring semester just began and my father is coercing me (offering to pay tuition) to enroll in a _community college_ and pretty much give it a fresh start. He expects an answer by *today*.

I've made up my mind already. I've many job options. I started working as a freelance programmer/website designer and a waiter at night and considering i don't have almost any expenses at the present time living with my uncle (left home years ago, haven't seen my parents ever since but talk to them on regular basis) i calculated i can put off around $50K a year and invest it after a a few years, hoping it multiplies manifold.

My dream is to work as a scientist which requires university _degrees_ but i am well comfortable working with computers - my second passion.

I don't know which way I should go. The whole situation brought me a neurosis. I go from crying to anger/frustration episodes where i walk around the house holding my head and telling myself aloud what a ****ed up idiot i am to cause this whole situation like this in the first place. I fear my inner want to go both ways is splitting my mental integrity and making me insane.

And then Robert Frost's poem comes to my mind about the road less traveled by and i feel like it's the way i should go.

What do you guys think?

Thanks

ps: Posted on other forums as well. so far ->
5 for go get degree b/ it's a standard regardless of career.. 1 go own way; doesn't work go back to school.

ps2: inb4 what I did: expulsion grounds were 'hacking' & trespassing.

We all make mistakes. We are human beings and not perfect angels.

I suggest you find what you really like to study. If computers is your passion, follow it! Its better to have a passion on what you like. Do some soul searching...

Good luck. :)

 

[tiny-tim]

welcome to pf!

hi the_outsider! welcome to pf!

My dream is to work as a scientist …

I don't know which way I should go. The whole situation brought me a neurosis. I go from crying to anger/frustration episodes where i walk around the house holding my head and telling myself aloud what a ****ed up idiot i am to cause this whole situation like this in the first place. I fear my inner want to go both ways is splitting my mental integrity and making me insane.
…
ps2: inb4 what I did: expulsion grounds were 'hacking' & trespassing.

working at home is one thing, but if you want to work as a scientist in a community, you won't last long in that state

is reality at fault, or are you?

if you want to work at home, i suppose it doesn't matter

but if you want to be a "real" scientist, you need to see someone who can help you at adapting to reality

 

[the_outsider]

Thanks. I appreciate the scrutiny but considering many of you come from top academic/professional backgrounds and know social realia I'd prefer to hear more in regard to 'continue with school and reclimb the ladder, or abandon the idea'

You would benefit from learning some maturity and responsibility. I was hoping it was just school burnout that could be cured by a boring real world job. But repeated (rather than one time only) borderline criminal behavior reveals deeper problems at merging with society. Maybe counseling or finding a responsible mentor whom you respect enough to listen to him/her? Good luck, you seem to be at least close to asking for help at changing your situation.

Thanks. Not that it should matter much in this thread but I have an ongoing feeling of remoteness (outsider syndrome), inferiority and increasing need for recognition and feeling of importance. I left home after my folks got divorced and lived with an uncle's fam on 'no interference' basis. Never reconciled with the circumstances. I live a sort of 'on the edge' lifestyle, not exactly lawful, but i don't mind it since it makes me feel simply smarter than the society, like a godlike status and because it mollifies my other problems. I keep alluring myself that it'll all stop once i get at the top like an important position and I believe it. I guess it all boils down to a need of a meaningful life. I just want to be remembered. Special

working at home is one thing, but if you want to work as a scientist in a community, you won't last long in that state

is reality at fault, or are you?

if you want to work at home, i suppose it doesn't matter

but if you want to be a "real" scientist, you need to see someone who can help you at adapting to reality

Thank you but contrary to evidence I'm quite a social person. I have some inner problems but most of the time do a fairly good job at masking and appearing a c00l dude. I sort of dread a situation where i sit at home all day alone and don't meet any new people.

I blame reality for essentially giving rise to the situation and myself for dealing with it in such manner.
Not sure what you mean by "adapting to reality"

 

[General_Sax]

Thanks. Not that it should matter much in this thread but I have an ongoing feeling of remoteness (outsider syndrome), inferiority and increasing need for recognition and feeling of importance. I left home after my folks got divorced and lived with an uncle's fam on 'no interference' basis. Never reconciled with the circumstances. I live a sort of 'on the edge' lifestyle, not exactly lawful, but i don't mind it since it makes me feel simply smarter than the society, like a godlike status and because it mollifies my other problems. I keep alluring myself that it'll all stop once i get at the top like an important position and I believe it. I guess it all boils down to a need of a meaningful life. I just want to be remembered. Special

Grow up.

 

[micromass]

Thanks. Not that it should matter much in this thread but I have an ongoing feeling of remoteness (outsider syndrome), inferiority and increasing need for recognition and feeling of importance. I left home after my folks got divorced and lived with an uncle's fam on 'no interference' basis. Never reconciled with the circumstances. I live a sort of 'on the edge' lifestyle, not exactly lawful, but i don't mind it since it makes me feel simply smarter than the society, like a godlike status and because it mollifies my other problems. I keep alluring myself that it'll all stop once i get at the top like an important position and I believe it. I guess it all boils down to a need of a meaningful life. I just want to be remembered. Special

I understand your problems, so I'm not going to force any advice on you. If you feel like school isn't your thing, then maybe you should go your own way. However, I do want you to be aware of the consequences.

You want to be at the top and you want a meaningful live, we all want that. Sadly, such a thing requires very hard work. Nobody reaches the top just like that, they will most likely have worked hard for it. People don't follow the rules just for fun, they do it because they know it will benefit them in the long run. To be able to really get what you want, you will have to have some discipline and some hard work...

If I were you, I would give college another chance. Maybe not immediately, but in a few years maybe. But guess what? I'm not you and I don't have to live with the choices you make. So feel free not to listen to me. If you feel that the rules and the discipline of college is not your thing, then don't do it. If you feel happy with working with computers and designing websites, then that's a good way to make a living! So try that for a while. And maybe after a while you will have resolved your personal issues and you will maybe be ready for another college, and then you can give it another try. Or maybe you feel like websites is your thing, well that's also cool!

Good luck with any choice you make! I really hope things work out for you!

 

[Angry Citizen]

Thanks. Not that it should matter much in this thread but I have an ongoing feeling of remoteness (outsider syndrome), inferiority and increasing need for recognition and feeling of importance. I left home after my folks got divorced and lived with an uncle's fam on 'no interference' basis. Never reconciled with the circumstances. I live a sort of 'on the edge' lifestyle, not exactly lawful, but i don't mind it since it makes me feel simply smarter than the society, like a godlike status and because it mollifies my other problems.

Please don't go to university. You sound too egotistical to deal with the reality of your life: that you're nothing more than someone who got expelled twice from schools, when most people don't even get expelled once. Unless you can honestly tell me that everything you wrote in this quoted passage is complete and utter ********, I wouldn't want you within ten miles of my university, and I daresay no one else will either.

 

[verty]

How did you come to call yourself the outsider?

 

[Pengwuino]

Hi Forumers,

>*Don't really expect an answer but merely an alternative path of thought*

I've got expelled from universities twice already, and contrary to my family's wishes decided to give up on higher education altogether and try to work my way up without a degree.

You sound like you haven't done with some people do and look back on your mistakes and go "oh noooooes how horrible of a person i am please give me a chance world". In other words, you are the same person you were back then. With this in mind, don't go back to college because you're not going to graduate. And that's not saying that you CAN'T, you just don't seem to want to, which is perfectly fine. College isn't for everyone.

I've made up my mind already. I've many job options. I started working as a freelance programmer/website designer and a waiter at night and considering i don't have almost any expenses at the present time living with my uncle (left home years ago, haven't seen my parents ever since but talk to them on regular basis) i calculated i can put off around $50K a year and invest it after a a few years, hoping it multiplies manifold.

For one, how are you going to even have $50k a year to invest? Two, it's not going to multiply. In fact, these days, you'll be lucky to keep up with inflation. And that's for the average investor. You won't be an average investor. As you claim, you think pretty highly of yourself and sound pretty stubborn. Stubbornness is a 100% guarantee of losing your money in investments.

My dream is to work as a scientist which requires university _degrees_ but i am well comfortable working with computers - my second passion.

Not happening, next. Stay with your work on computers.

 

[lisab]

Unfortunately, hacking and trespassing are unacceptable also in the working, and investing world. You would benefit from learning some maturity and responsibility. I was hoping it was just school burnout that could be cured by a boring real world job. But repeated (rather than one time only) borderline criminal behavior reveals deeper problems at merging with society. Maybe counseling or finding a responsible mentor whom you respect enough to listen to him/her? Good luck, you seem to be at least close to asking for help at changing your situation.

mathwonk gives great advice here, outsider. I think you'd benefit from seeing a counselor. You may have some unresolved issues concerning your parent's divorce, or perhaps there are other things that are causing you trouble. Your 'on the edge, not exactly lawful' behavior has serious, horrible consequences. I urge you to address these issues before you land yourself in prison; a counselor will help you with this. Best of luck to you!

 

[the_outsider]

Thanks [almost] everyone. I appreciate the input.

How did you come to call yourself the outsider?

There's was an ancient book by the same name that i grew to familiarize myself with. I felt like my life is the theme. In actuality people with almost identical upbringing and experiences will grow on to be almost identical persons.


EOF

 

[Fizex]

If the book L'Etranger (I assume) is your role model then you need professional help. The theme of the book was that there is only one choice in life, to commit suicide or to continue living in madness.

You need to see a psychiatrist. I'm not being sarcastic or joking. Your mentality won't get you anywhere in life.

P.S. A post is not a file so there is no reason for an EOF.

 

[denks]

Just going back for more study is a bad idea. All that that will happen is everything will repeat itself yet again and you will just waste more time. It does not mean you will never get around to it, just that now is not a point in your life where study will be beneficial. Get a bit of life experience and go back if you still feel you want a degree (I stopped study midway through a degree and now everything is sorted out life wise have returned and am starting to get extremely good results unlike before so it can be done - I did very well in, funnily enough, web development for quite a while there until I realized it wasn't giving me any mental stimulation).
You really have to stop this "on the edge" attitude, at university they will expel you. If you trespass or hack at work the police will be called and you will be charged. It will be even worse if you are freelancing - the police will be called by your client and they will also file a civil suit against you. Criminal behaviour is just not tolerated by anybody and rightfully so (I'm not trying to talk down to you, it's just a fact of life and unfortunatley trespassing and cracking into a system you are not authorised to are crimes).
Otherwise micromass hit the nail on the head.

 

[cobalt124]

I'm going to stick my neck out here and give you a fathers perspective, which you can take or leave as you see fit. You say:

Spring semester just began and my father is coercing me (offering to pay tuition) to enroll in a _community college_ and pretty much give it a fresh start. He expects an answer by *today*.

Now the first thing I have to ask is "Is your father really coercing you?". I don't know your personal circumstances, and have no experience of the position you are in, but if there is a chance that your father truly cares about your education and is willing to pay for it, NO STRINGS ATTACHED, then it would be silly to turn that down. This scenario is possible. However, as per the other posters in this thread, that CANNOT be the first thing you do. Plan:

1) Sort yourself out - go to a doctor, explain the situation, and you will be guided to the relevant help.

Once this is done, you may see things differently, and your decisions may be crystal clear. I suspect things are not crystal clear as you state you have made your mind up, but feel the need to ask opinion here. But, if you are being offered an education, NO STRINGS ATTACHED:

2) Do it

That can't do you any harm

Good luck and best wishes

John

 

[daveyinaz]

This thread has shocked me...not because the OP needs to probably be on meds, but because everyone is usually giving $#!+ advice to everyone else...yet here is perfectly sound and thoughtful advice with sentiment...it's awesome

 

[Skrew]

Some people may disagree with me but I feel the best way to predict what someones future actions will be is by looking at their past actions.

To be blunt, it's likely you're going to get expelled again. It doesn't seem like you have gone through any life changing experience which will alter your future actions.

 

[Stevo6754]

Thanks. Not that it should matter much in this thread but I have an ongoing feeling of remoteness (outsider syndrome), inferiority and increasing need for recognition and feeling of importance. I left home after my folks got divorced and lived with an uncle's fam on 'no interference' basis. Never reconciled with the circumstances. I live a sort of 'on the edge' lifestyle, not exactly lawful, but i don't mind it since it makes me feel simply smarter than the society, like a godlike status and because it mollifies my other problems. I keep alluring myself that it'll all stop once i get at the top like an important position and I believe it. I guess it all boils down to a need of a meaningful life. I just want to be remembered. Special

Lol...

Please stay out of school, you don't sound like you can handle it.

Either:
1. Get some serious help
2. Hurry up and do something stupid again so you get locked up, you sound just like another punk and no one will ever remember just another punk

 

[Fizex]

This thread has shocked me...not because the OP needs to probably be on meds, but because everyone is usually giving $#!+ advice to everyone else...yet here is perfectly sound and thoughtful advice with sentiment...it's awesome

The guy can't be a scientist and think he's better than everyone else at the same time.

 

[deluks917]

Lol...

Please stay out of school, you don't sound like you can handle it.

Either:
1. Get some serious help
2. Hurry up and do something stupid again so you get locked up, you sound just like another punk and no one will ever remember just another punk

Jeez man. The dude got kicked out of college twice and seems immature but he isn't a murderer or cocaine dealer. Why would you hope he winds up in jail? Even if you mean it in jest its pretty uncalled for.

To the Op:
I suggest staying with computers for the time being. Maybe take one course at the community college per semester for a little while to test the water with regards to higher education.

 

[Headacheguy]

If the book L'Etranger (I assume) is your role model then you need professional help. The theme of the book was that there is only one choice in life, to commit suicide or to continue living in madness.

@Fizex, I've read L'Etranger and I suggest you read it twice over. The theme of the book is to acknowledge the inability of humanity to find an inherent meaning of life.

@the_outsider: Although there might be no inherent meaning of life, doesn't mean that it has no meaning for you. If you think the study of physics will give meaning to your life (as I think it does), then get some counseling, get into college, kiss a girl, explore the universe.

Another thing, other people have lives to. Don't sh*t on them.

 

[mathwonk]

dear sir, we are amateurs. please seek some professional help. i myself have done so, and it does help me get along better with others.

 

[glueball8]

I think you should seek professional help if you have the courage.

It doesn't seem your ready to back to school, though you can always take one or two course that you'll like. You can always go back to school later in life.

We follow social laws because it will benefit us in the long run (or common/social wisdom). If you want to be important, you not only have to follow the laws you have to set a good example. You have to help people, give them something they need. No one gets rich by just wanting money.

But the best advice anyone can give you is see professional help. You cannot decide your future based on advice from random people on the internet or in one day. GL

 

[daveyinaz]

The guy can't be a scientist and think he's better than everyone else at the same time.

I don't understand your statement, what does being a scientist have to do with conceit? One seems like a profession while the other is a state of mind.

Lame.

 

[G01]

The guy can't be a scientist and think he's better than everyone else at the same time.

I've met many scientists who think they are better than everyone else because they are scientists. I don't necessarily like this attitude, and think it's bad to hold when one claims to be objective and unbiased regarding reality. However, being conceited and being a scientist are not mutually exclusive.

 

[xGAME-OVERx]

The guy can't be a scientist and think he's better than everyone else at the same time.

I think what was meant is that a scientist shouldn't be conceited. It's an unhelpful mindset.

 

[neduet89]

u better listen to your father i guess...

 

[lurky]

I agree with those who have suggested seeing a doctor. I think you should do that first and foremost. Sort your health out first and then decided what you want to do. Ask your dad if he would be willing to pay for your education a little later on, to give you time. You don't need to go to school absolutely right now.

Also, I don't know what it's like where you live, but where I live, you'll be forced to wait anyway. No school will accept someone who has been kicked out twice, at least not for something like a couple of years. They give you a forced cool down period. You may want to check into that to see if it's true where you live, too.

 

[Fizex]

I don't understand your statement, what does being a scientist have to do with conceit? One seems like a profession while the other is a state of mind.

Lame.

The state of mind affects the quality of a scientist.

I've met many scientists who think they are better than everyone else because they are scientists. I don't necessarily like this attitude, and think it's bad to hold when one claims to be objective and unbiased regarding reality. However, being conceited and being a scientist are not mutually exclusive.

Doesn't make them a good scientist. If everyone doesn't want to hear it from me, then maybe from a Nobel physicist?

http://www.phys.uu.nl/~thooft/theoristbad.html

I think what was meant is that a scientist shouldn't be conceited. It's an unhelpful mindset.

Maybe I should've been more precise with my statement. These guys are taking words to literally. I don't have to be so flawless elsewhere on the forums and people usually understand what is meant.

 

[Stevo6754]

Jeez man. The dude got kicked out of college twice and seems immature but he isn't a murderer or cocaine dealer. Why would you hope he winds up in jail? Even if you mean it in jest its pretty uncalled for.

To the Op:
I suggest staying with computers for the time being. Maybe take one course at the community college per semester for a little while to test the water with regards to higher education.

Yeah he got kicked out for hacking, which can definitely get you some time. I said he had two options as I see it, get help or continue down his current path. Most of all I hope he gets help. If getting kicked out of school TWICE wasn't enough to persuade him what he was doing was wrong/illegal/etc then maybe it will take more serious measures. Reality needs to give him a wake up call if he can't do it himself.

 

[chiro]

The state of mind affects the quality of a scientist.


Doesn't make them a good scientist. If everyone doesn't want to hear it from me, then maybe from a Nobel physicist?

http://www.phys.uu.nl/~thooft/theoristbad.html


Maybe I should've been more precise with my statement. These guys are taking words to literally. I don't have to be so flawless elsewhere on the forums and people usually understand what is meant.

I'm sure that there exist people that are great at what they do and yet are assholes in the the purest sense and that includes scientists.

 

[Leptos]

It's rather sad that PF feeds an obvious troll like this... I understand you guys aren't the most internet-savvy people out there, but seriously guys, you should know better. The OP is a fake.

 

[Pengwuino]

It's rather sad that PF feeds an obvious troll like this... I understand you guys aren't the most internet-savvy people out there, but seriously guys, you should know better. The OP is a fake.

You'd be surprised at the number of people there are with some crazy ideas about their life

 

[Ashuron]

You'd be surprised at the number of people there are with some crazy ideas about their life

Pretty much everyone has their own crazy ideas..

 

[mathwonk]

Leptos, we would rather try to do some good than worry about being scammed.