So, a few months ago I withdrew from my graduate program. The reason was due to a medical diagnosis which was no less than life changing. In my withdrawal I had the support of all my professors and even the secretary. In fact, they felt it would be for my benefit to do something else. In the present, I was rethinking graduate school and visited a university a week ago (I didn't like the program I was in, but that had little to do with why I left). While I met all of the qualifications for the position and got along with the prof very well, he told me that he felt it would be better if I took a job in industry for a few years then reapply to the school working for him. Initially when I heard that I was upset, but I understood where he was coming from. Now, a week later, it is starting to hit me that I cannot take the path that I had envisioned myself going down. What upsets me most is that it has nothing to do with my competence or a lack of knowing what to do - what stands in my way is some series of events that were totally out my of control that have changed my priorities. I feel like I had to sacrifice my dream of becoming a scientist for stability. Too tell you the truth, I've lived a difficult life and worked very hard to overcome whatever obstacles had come before me. Personally, I think its a miracle I didn't end up a full time employee in a gas station. I feel like I've been slapped in the face by life - I come all this way to get shot down by something that's not my doing. It makes me not want to try anymore. I just feel like my effort and passion into my field isn't paying off anymore. Heck, I don't even feel like my character is paying off anymore. If I keep taking loses like this, I don't think I'll be able to make it. Even my family is concerned about my "luck" streak. People say those things matter, I don't see it now. I feel like I just flushed my talent down the toilet, then took a dump which clogged the pipes. On a positive note, I have already gotten some interviews with good companies. I can always get a Masters through a company, but I want to do a thesis. Whatever happens I feel grossly inadequate and hopeless. At least if I was incompetent I could come to terms with the fact that I made a mistake or that I'm not qualified. I'm not sure how I'm going to find closure, considering this was the dream that I held on too that kept me from doing terrible/stupid things growing up.