Find the Right Girl: No drugs, No Sex on First Date

[Gokul43201]

"Please give to those who get" could be our slogan.

 

[Artman]

A word now from The Tribdog Foundation.

We have millions of researchers trying desperately to find the cause of gettin-too-much syndrome. Only after we find how this happens can we hope to achieve success.

Remember the words of our founder: "Never have so many, given so much, to so few, so often."

Please give till it hurts. Every piece helps.

Give to those who get. Thank you.

Smooth operators are standing by.

 

[jimmy p]

Hey trib, don't get down. Have you ever tried asexual reproduction? It hasnt worked for me yet but you got to keep trying

DIVIDE DIVIDE!

 

[Evo]

A word now from The Tribdog Foundation.

We have millions of researchers trying desperately to find the cause of gettin-too-much syndrome. Only after we find how this happens can we hope to achieve success.

Remember the words of our founder: "Never have so many, given so much, to so few, so often."

Please give till it hurts. Every piece helps.

Give to those who get. Thank you.

Smooth operators are standing by.

I love it!

 

[Artman]

We're back to continue our Tribdog Internet-Athon to benefit research into the cause and cure of Gettin-Too-Much Syndrome (GTMS).

We have some great stars on tap to provide entertainment for this worthy cause.

Madonna will perform "Like a Virgin."

Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones will sing their hit: "I Can't Get No Satisfaction"

Micheal Jackson will be doing: "Beat It."

Just to name a few.

But it's not all fun and games here. Not by a long shot. Our researchers believe that a cure is possible! They are collecting antibodies from persons afflicted with Can't-Get-Any disease. They believe that these antibodies can be made into a vaccine that when given to a sufferer of GTMS will turn that person from Gettin-Too-Much to Might-Get-Some-If-You're-Real-Lucky. We can only hope. The procedure is dangerous though and could send them right over to Wouldn't-Get-Any-If-You-Paid-For-It-And-Wore-A-Bag. More research is definitely needed.

Please give and give and give to those who get.

 

[humanino]

I am too afraid of the "Wouldn't-Get-Any-If-You-Paid-For-It-And-Wore-A-Bag" if the process cannot be inverted. I prefer to become a priest.

Or better : I will buy myself a "I'm into physics"-front "and I love scratching my ***** in pubic"-back T-shirt. If that is not enough I will by a "I have nematode parasites, and consider getting smallpox" hat.

 

[Gokul43201]

We have some great stars on tap to provide entertainment for this worthy cause.

Madonna will perform "Like a Virgin."

Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones will sing their hit: "I Can't Get No Satisfaction"

Micheal Jackson will be doing: "Beat It."

Just to name a few...

Please give and give and give to those who get.

This only gets better...

 

[Artman]

Here we are again at the Tribdog Internet-Athon working for a cure for GTMS, the dreaded disease that can afflict people of all ages, but certainly hits hardest on the young.

Let's hear a big round of applause for Aerosmith performing the Beatles "Come Together."

Let's have a look at our tally board.

(Please note that we have been polling our pledge people with a few simple questions.)

So far we have pledges from...Well it seems no one has actually pledged, but several have left us some coments.

Married men say they refuse to pledge because they think that someone ought to be getting some.

Unmarried women say, leave him alone.

Married women say, Hummm this is odd, they also say leave him alone.

Unmarried men say they would pledge but they waste all of their money trying to get some.

So as you can see this leaves our total at 0.

Oh well. We're going to keep at this though.

In the meantime here is George Thoroughgood and "Bad To The Bone."

Remember give from your heart and for our larger donations we will give you a heart pin so you can put a heart-on for GTMS.

Hang in there Tribdog, this is all for you!

 

[Evo]

Here we are again at the Tribdog Internet-Athon working for a cure for GTMS, the dreaded disease that can afflict people of all ages, but certainly hits hardest on the young.

Let's hear a big round of applause for Aerosmith performing the Beatles "Come Together."

Let's have a look at our tally board.

Artman, this is truly a great cause and I am so proud of you for championing the plight of those afflicted with GTMS. The musical guests you have selected add so much.

I am deeply touched as I know others here in GD are.

 

[Moonbear]

Novel Protein Absent in Get-Too-Much Syndrome (GTMS) Patients
P.F. Moonbear
Center for GTMS Studies

Abstract:
Get-Too-Much Syndrome (GTMS) has been reported as an important quality-of-life issue affecting nearly 15% of men aged 19-35. Those afflicted with this disorder commonly report symptoms including inability to sustain long-term relationships, frequent occurrences of characteristic swelling on one or both sides of the face resembling a "hand print," and difficulty recalling names of sexual partners. GTMS appears to preferentially afflict men in highly paid professions, which has led a number of researchers to hypothesize that occupational exposure to an unidentified substance may lead to GTMS. However, we propose an alternate hypothesis based on behavioral observations of men in natural settings. In our previous report, we noted that men afflicted with GTMS were more likely to congregate in locations with high populations of women, and were less likely than normal controls to congregate in locations with predominantly male populations, such as sports arenas and physics lectures. Therefore, we compared GTMS patients with normal controls recruited from local sports arenas. Subjects were matched for socioeconomic status, average weekly alcohol consumption, height and weight. Blood samples were collected from both groups for comparison of numerous indicators of endocrine and health status. For most parameters measured, including free testosterone concentrations, LDLDL ratios, and immune function, no significant differences were detected for the two groups. However, a novel protein with MW=25kDa was identified in blood samples of normal controls that was undetectable in GTMS subjects. We propose that this novel protein, which we have named GEEK (GTMS Environmental Evasion Kinase), is part of a second-messenger cascade required for normal neuronal function in men. This disruption of this neuronal function in the absence of GEEK likely leads to the altered behavior of GTMS patients, resulting in them getting too much. Further studies are planned to determine if GEEK is up-regulated during aging, when GTMS symptoms typically lessen. We also propose that GEEK has increased activity in the presence of the chaperone molecule, WIFE (Wild Inhibition-Free Ending protein), possibly explaining the rapid cessation of GTMS symptoms that is correlated with detection of WIFE. These findings suggest a novel molecular basis for GTMS, and provide the possibility of development of therapeutic approaches for treating GTMS with either GEEK proteins or WIFE. Support provided by: Tribdog Foundation Grant #12345.

 

[Evo]

Moonbear, that's hysterical!

Finally, the scientific explanation for GTMS, thanks to "Tribdog Foundation Grant #12345".

 

[The Bob]

OK, you have all gone mad, but for GTMS I would like to offer a pound of butter if you raise a cake of £1000. Then the cake will taste better. See? We all win.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Monique]

Novel Protein Absent in Get-Too-Much Syndrome (GTMS) Patients
P.F. Moonbear
Center for GTMS Studies

 

[tribdog]

And people say I'm insensitive.
Geeez, I'm just looking for someone to love.

 

[Artman]

Novel Protein Absent in Get-Too-Much Syndrome (GTMS) Patients
P.F. Moonbear
Center for GTMS Studies

Abstract:...We propose that this novel protein, which we have named GEEK (GTMS Environmental Evasion Kinase), is part of a second-messenger cascade required for normal neuronal function in men. This disruption of this neuronal function in the absence of GEEK likely leads to the altered behavior of GTMS patients, resulting in them getting too much. Further studies are planned to determine if GEEK is up-regulated during aging, when GTMS symptoms typically lessen. We also propose that GEEK has increased activity in the presence of the chaperone molecule, WIFE (Wild Inhibition-Free Ending protein), possibly explaining the rapid cessation of GTMS symptoms that is correlated with detection of WIFE. ...Support provided by: Tribdog Foundation Grant #12345.

We here at the foundation are deeply moved to see the scientific community actively seeking the cause and cure for Getting-Too-Much Syndrome. Honest we are moved to tears (and LMAO!)

Thanks Moonbear for that report. Yes we are working, but there is still so much more to do.

Today we have a special treat for you here at the GTMS Internet-Athon. We have an interview with a person who is afflicted with an advanced case of GTMS, which we sometimes refer to as GWTMS (Getting-WAY-Too-Much Syndrome).

US: Have you had the disease for a long time?

Very long.

US: Life with Getting-Too-Much-Syndrome must be pretty tough, isn't it?

Yes. It's hard.

US: Progress towards treatment has not been quick in coming has it?

Slow, very slow.

US: Have you sought a cure on your own?

Yes. It's been a long time coming.

US: So, to sum things up, It's been long, hard, slow, very slow and a long time coming. We're all pulling for you. Just keep on plugging away.

Thank you for your encouragement and support.

There you have it. The toll this disease can take on a person.

Coming up next we have Jerry Lews and his French interpreter!

 

[Gokul43201]

US: So, to sum things up, It's been long, hard, slow, very slow and a long time coming. We're all pulling for you. Just keep on plugging away.

 

[humanino]

US: So, to sum things up, It's been long, hard, slow, very slow and a long time coming.

This is thick. Ooops. Pardon my french

 

[Artman]

And people say I'm insensitive.
Geeez, I'm just looking for someone to love.

Sorry. Just having some fun. We all love you Tribdog. You have such a great sense of humor I thought you would be writing into the Tribdog Foundation with your own views on the subject.

Seriously, I hope you find that love you want.

 

[humanino]

What should I say either ! I could not sleep all night just because I wanted to take a beer with my buddies yesterday and I have been kidnapped by a group of histerical hooties, and today I'm unable to work. GTMS effects on concentration have not even been investigated yet.

Thank you all for the Internet-Athon. It helps us so much.

 

[Artman]

...I have been kidnapped by a group of histerical hooties, and today I'm unable to work...

Thank you all for the Internet-Athon. It helps us so much.

We only wish we could help more.

We were hoping to have Jerry Lewis with us today, but he was not available. Sorry about that humanino, being French you probably are aware of his immense popularity in your country. As a side note, it has been determined that having Jerry Lewis on the TV can actually act as a deterrent to sex. As soon as the familiar sound of "Oh Mrs LAYYY-DEE" is spoken, sex is the farthest thing from your mind. In light of this discovery, researchers are working with recordings of Jerry to try and affect a cure.

 

[Moonbear]

We here at the foundation are deeply moved to see the scientific community actively seeking the cause and cure for Getting-Too-Much Syndrome. Honest we are moved to tears (and LMAO!)

We are extremely grateful for the continued support of the Tribdog Foundation for our research efforts into finding a cure for GTMS. We are making great headway into understanding this disease, but please keep in mind that a cure may still be a long way off. With the generous contributions of the Tribdog Foundation, we hope this cure will be found much sooner.

US: So, to sum things up, It's been long, hard, slow, very slow and a long time coming. We're all pulling for you. Just keep on plugging away.

The physicians we collaborate with in our clinical studies advise that this will only exacerbate the symptoms of GTMS.

 

[humanino]

I also wanted to thank scientists participation in the Internet-Athon. Of course nothing would be possible to help us without them. Especially the great biologist Moonbear whose highest skills in reproduction, endocrinology, and behavior among other provide invaluable hopes to us suffering. Moon bear, we are aware all the sacrifices you make for us.

We hope the Internet-Athon will help also to make your lab more confortable.

 

[Evo]

Alas, poor humanino, another silent sufferer of GTMS. It sounds like you may actually have the more serious affliction GWTMS.

tribdog, we love you, seriously.

 

[Artman]

Alas, poor humanino, another silent sufferer of GTMS. It sounds like you may actually have the more serious affliction GWTMS...

Your diagnosis sounds right on Evo.

Although there is no known cure for GTMS or GWTMS, there are treatments to help ease the suffering:

He could try doing impersonations of Jerry Lewis. Or as we like to call it, the "Oh MRS LAYYYY-DEE" sex deterrent.

He could spend more time in the physics areas of this forum. Now please note that there is no known link between spending more time in the physics forum areas and GTMS, there is a possible correlation between this and the increase of the novel protein, GEEK (GTMS Environmental Evasion Kinase) discovered only recently by the Moonbear Center for GTMS Studies. Spending more time at PF is an experimental course and should not be relied upon soley as a treatment for GTMS.

Then of course there is sharing. When faced with a "group of Hooties," split up the group among your friends.

Remember we here at the Tribdog foundation are available to help you day and night. Consider us your friends.

 

[humanino]

Thank you so much guys for your support.

I am doubtlessely spending much time in the physics area, and indeed never had any symptom over there. Yet I remember having a test revealing a high GEEK concentration. This test has been advised to me by the great GD forum. That would imply the GEEK protein might be somehow inhibited in certain subjects. I cannot tell for sure, but this might be due to another disordered state called High Omphalocele Triglyceride (HOT). It has been often claimed that GEEK and HOT disorders could never observed in the same subject. Thanks to the Internet-Athon, this hypothesis is now reconsidered.

Another achivement of the Tribdog foundation.

 

[Tsu]

Artman, this is truly a great cause and I am so proud of you for championing the plight of those afflicted with GTMS. The musical guests you have selected add so much.

I am deeply touched as I know others here in GD are.

What she said...

Art - you da MAN!

 

[Moonbear]

Folks in Amsterdam seem to have found at least a temporary remedy for GTMS...COWS!

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=0YWNWWNPTEPT4CRBAEOCFEY?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=6210163

"Visitors experience great annoyance from people having sex in public and apparently the presence of the cows turns the people off having sex," the mayor said.

 

[humanino]

That is terrible for Amsterdam ! The city of sin and kingdom of the devil


_____________
I'm unfair : I love Amsterdam. It is one of the most beautiful city in Europe. But indeed, the GTMS must be terrible over there : Dutch are most attractive people

 

[Artman]

That was Jewel with her song, "Do You," and ELO asking the musical Question "Do Ya, do ya, want my love?"

Folks in Amsterdam seem to have found at least a temporary remedy for GTMS...COWS!

Once again the Moonbear Center for GTMS should be congratulated on their research efforts to stop GTMS.

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=0YWNWWNPTEPT4CRBAEOCFEY?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=6210163

"Visitors experience great annoyance from people having sex in public and apparently the presence of the cows turns the people off having sex," the mayor said.

humanino your post on HOT is also very enlightening.

I cannot tell for sure, but this might be due to another disordered state called High Omphalocele Triglyceride (HOT). It has been often claimed that GEEK and HOT disorders could never observed in the same subject.

And what can I say to all of you watching in GD land, like Evo and Tsunami, besides thank you! We hope that the musical talents of our guests can move you in ways that you can really appreciate and make you dig deep down and give to those who get.

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

wow, I'm in the i-do-not-get-enough-even-if-my-life-depended-on-it-cuz-i'm-too-much-of-a-chicken-**** category, now i know where i stand

 

[Artman]

For the Internet-Athon Grand Finale we’ve gathered all of our stars together. They are holding hands, standing on the stage on elevated tiers and they are beginning to sway. Clapton walks on stage and straps on an acoustic guitar, Elton is at the keyboard, Sting is on Bass, Phil on drums, Duane is going to add a little slide guitar, BB’s got Lucille. They’re backed by a 20 piece orchestra. The majestic strains of our closing number begin to rise (It is the tune of “We Are The World.”)

They begin to sing the Getting-Too-Much-Theme:

We get the girls.
We get the people.
When gettin’ r done,
We got no equal.

We’re trying to stop.
To find someone true.
But in bed we hop.
And do someone new.

We get the girls.
We get the people.
When gettin’ r done,
We got no equal.

It’s GEEK that we lack.
But we’re trying to fight.
Yet we’re flat on our back.
Gettin’ r done every night.

We get the girls.
We get the people.
When gettin’ r done,
We got no equal.

Getting-Too-Much
Is the syndrome we’ve got.
But it’s not all our fault,
‘Cause we’ve also got HOT.

We get the girls.
We get the people.
When gettin’ r done,
We got no equal.

We could share with our friends,
Or just take all the hooties
Oh where will it end,
This long string of Bootie!

We get the girls.
We get the people.
When gettin’ r done,
We got no equal.

We get the girls.
We get the people.
When gettin’ r done,
We got no equal.

Thanks everyone for your support! It's only through your help that we can end this long string of Bootie!

 

[Evo]

Artman, that was GREAT!

I didn't realize you were so talented.

This thread is a new classic.

 

[Artman]

Artman, that was GREAT!

I didn't realize you were so talented.

This thread is a new classic.

Thanks Evo!
I just figured this thread should end with a big bang!

 

[Gokul43201]

Artman, that's priceless <especially if you're in the lab singing aloud...and your group members are not deaf >

But, despite that, it's not nearly worth it unless you sing to tune.

Sing along, people !

 

[Artman]

Artman, that's priceless <especially if you're in the lab singing aloud...and your group members are not deaf >

But, despite that, it's not nearly worth it unless you sing to tune.

Sing along, people !

Gokul43201, you mean you were singing this outloud in your lab!? :
Let's all give a big hand to the Getting-Too-Much Singers! And an even bigger hand to those singing along at home!

 

[humanino]

I can sing. The others are gone here
What would I become without the Internet-Athon.
It can't already be over. I can't wait until next year.

How much did we get this year ?

 

[Math Is Hard]

How much did we get this year ?

Not as much as tribdog, I'm guessing

 

[Artman]

Not as much as tribdog, I'm guessing

 

[tribdog]

You people are crazy. lol
I decided to ask an ugly girl out. No, I shouldn't call her ugly. She's a tough looking Mexican girl who could probably beat me up, but she has a great personality. I asked the local Texaco cashier if she wanted to do something this weekend. She said "What do you want to do this weekend?" I said, "you" she seemed to think it was a good idea.

 

[Evo]

You people are crazy. lol
I decided to ask an ugly girl out. No, I shouldn't call her ugly. She's a tough looking Mexican girl who could probably beat me up, but she has a great personality.

I'm proud of you tribdog, I think.

I asked the local Texaco cashier if she wanted to do something this weekend. She said "What do you want to do this weekend?" I said, "you" she seemed to think it was a good idea.

Ok, that's more like the tribdog we all know and love.

 

[tribdog]

I'm so cool, huh?

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

I'm so cool, huh?

for sure eh

 

[Evo]

I'm so cool, huh?

There are no words that can do you justice.

 

[tribdog]

There are no words that can do you justice.

I don't know about that. a simple "yes" from you would do wonders.