It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen, Side Effects
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.
Johann Sebastian Bach
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
Anonymous
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the guy next to me.
Woody Allen
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx
I've just developed a proof that demonstrates that, where n>2, the equation a^n+b^n = c^n cannot be solved with integers. Unfortunately, my train is coming.
Graffiti in a subway station
I believe there are 15,747,724,136,275,002,577,605,653,961,181,555,468,044,717,914,527,116,709,366,231,425,076,185,631,031,296 protons in the universe and the same number of electrons.
Arthur Eddington, The Philosophy of Physical Science
Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.
Albert Einsten
One can measure the importance of a scientific work by the number of earlier publications rendered superfluous by it.
David Hilbert
I read in the proof sheets of Hardy on Ramanujan: "As someone said, each of the positive integers was one of his personal friends." My reaction was, "I wonder who said that; I wish I had." In the next proof-sheets I read (what now stands), "It was Littlewood who said..."
J. E. Littlewood, A Mathematician's Miscellany
Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
Bertrand Russell, The Impact of Science on Society
You know, what Einstein has just said isn't so stupid.
Wolfgang Pauli commenting Einstein's lecture
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse (1872)
There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest" part implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is obviously impossible.
Richard Davisson
"Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill."
Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul
All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.
Woody Allen
I don't want to be immortal through my work. I want to be immortal through not dying.
Woody Allen
More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen
Physics is much too hard for physicists.
David Hilbert (that's the best one on the list)
A Mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.
Erdös, Paul
... the student skit at Christmas contained a plaintive line: "Give us Master's exams that our faculty can pass, or give s a faculty that can pass our Master's exams."
Halmos, Paul R
In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
von Neumann, Johann
The best material model of a cat is another, or preferably the same, cat.
Rosenblueth, A
Television is something the Russians invented to destroy American education.
Paul Erdos (another good one)
Proof is the idol before whom the pure mathematician tortures himself.
Sir Arthur Eddington
Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.
Alan Turing
Do not lose your faith. A mighty fortress is our mathematics. Mathematics will rise to the challenge, as it always has.
Stan Ulam
It would be very discouraging if somewhere down the line you could ask a computer if the Riemann hypothesis is correct and it said, `Yes, it is true, but you won't be able to understand the proof.'
Graham, Ronald
Whoever despises the high wisdom of mathematics nourishes himself on delusion and will never still the sophistic sciences whose only product is an eternal uproar.
da Vinci, Leonardo
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Joseph Stalin
I am a passenger on the spaceship, Earth.
R. Buckminster Fuller
Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune
Chomsky
The most effective way to restrict democracy is to transfer decision-making from the public arena to unaccountable institutions: kings and princes, priestly castes, military juntas, party dictatorships, or modern corporations
Chomsky
At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since
Salvador Dali
Democratic societies are unfit for the publication of such thunderous revelations as I am in the habit of making
Salvador Dali
The world will admire me. Perhaps I'll be despised and misunderstood, but I'll be a great genius, I'm certain of it
Salvador Dali
There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction
Salvador Dali
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it
Winston Churchill
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put
Winston Churchill (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
I am always willing to learn. I do not, however, always enjoy being taught
Churchill again
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love
Einstein
