Gay in the hard sciences? (no pun intended)

[Jimmy Snyder]

Don't you mean may I **** **** *****?

Too much information.

 

[maverick_starstrider]

I can't think of anything sillier. Since when does a person's sexual preference have anything to do with a subject you are taking?

I'm unlocking this because some people think the OP isn't looking for people to hook up with.

I don't like people making it sound like gay people are some strange group of people that don't fit into society and that a person's sexual preference would somehow make that person think about something like science in a way that other "normal" people would not. I don't like the stigmatism that goes along with those lines of thought.

I can't imagine how it would matter if another scientist or student was gay, unless I was looking for someone to hook up with sexually, and this forum isn't for that.

Are you, or have you ever been, a supporter or contributer to some form of Women in Science/Engineering/CS, etc. movement/organization?

 

[AUMathTutor]

"Are you, or have you ever been, a supporter or contributer to some form of Women in Science/Engineering/CS, etc. movement/organization? "

Probably, which is why she decided to reopen the discussion. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that more women should get into CS...

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

So many people seem to be thinking that its all about dating. I think what Adrian is talking about has more to do with mere companionship regardless of any romantic interest. While most people on this forum may be rather comfortable with alternative sexuality that does not seem to be the case with the general population. Even here in California I often run into people (mostly male and sometimes female) that have rather immature reactions to gays and lesbians. While Adrian may be capable of easy professional relationships he may find it difficult to have more personal friendships with the people in his department, worrying over how they may react if they were to find out that he is gay. Finding another gay student who understands his frustrations and lonliness would seem the best way to go but apparently his interests and major make it difficult for him to connect with them aswell.

It seems like a difficult spot to be in. Since he is in school his work is most likely to be on his mind most of the time, which is typical of college students, and he is unlikely to have much of a choice in where to look for friends if he has to spend most of his time immersed in his school work.

 

[adrian87]

I can understand wanting to find a partner with somewhat similar interests. Reading all the "girl trouble" threads around here, it's clear that regardless of sexual orientation, physics students and physicists (and others in the sciences) struggle with finding relationships with people who can appreciate the quirks of the field, such as that they might be sequestered in a lab all night or all week long in places where cell phone signals are shielded by the building design or location.

I don't know, does it matter a lot if you're grousing about not being able to find a boy instead of a girl?

Since you are at a university in a somewhat more conservative location, it's very possible that the isolation you feel is NOT because there aren't other people there who share your sexual orientation, but that they may be more reluctant to disclose that to others.

Funny how you're probably the first person who's posted something anything close to understanding the situation. My response:

1. While Idaho is conservative, Pocatello is a college town first - pretty relaxed/liberal. In fact, I was president of the LGBT club that we had on campus until it closed down because we didn't have much to do as a club and administrative duties weren't worth doing for a club of about 6 people that could just meet in private. In any case, my sexual preference is no secret at this point, nor has it been since my freshman year, though I don't necessarily go around proclaiming it with a poster in hand. If someone asks directly, or if they ask if I have a girlfriend or some such related question, I don't have a problem saying I'm gay, and yeah, I've dated guys.

2. We actually have a pretty good state-sponsored group called Genesis Project that functions as an HIV-prevention/sex education/support group for gay, bi, and curious men. There's a lot of opportunity, despite the location, for someone to come out. It was pretty scary when I did it my freshman year, but once I went through with it, I realized that no one really gave a sh*t (partly because I don't associate with too many mormons or catholics). Even the mormon guys can't hide it forever though, as I've found out. The homos in Pocatello are actually pretty good at finding out who else is gay in the community. We even have a few churches that are very supportive of the LGBT people here - you wouldn't believe how many lesbian couples have settled down here.

3. I'm not creating a huge artificial barrier where I'm only interested in geeky engineers/physicists. It's more that it would be nice to relate to someone who has a common identity, and has a strong interest in science whether or not they're going into that field. Also, though part of the reason for the break-up with my ex-boyfriend was divergent interests, there were many other emotional issues going on, and this was perhaps just one of the things that contributed to breaking the camel's back, so to speak.

4. I don't think the rarity of girls really can make the situation equal for straight guys in terms of romantic opportunity. If girls are rare, gay guys are even more rare in a physics/engineering department in this region. We do have one advantage though - the existence of 2+ gay people instantly creates opportunity for dating, as compared to 2+ straight guys in a department who require at least 1+ girl. Still, for the girl at least, there's typically going to be a pretty big potential dating pool of similarly interested men.

5. It seems a lot of people here are comparing their work environment to a university environment, which is absurd. Yep, office dating is probably a bad idea. But students dating students? At least to me, that makes sense. There aren't quite the same kind of problems if a break-up occurs, and there definitely aren't any school regulations about sex between students, as compared to a possible office policy. School *is* a social environment, whereas work *is not*. I wouldn't be looking to date someone at the IAC where I work, but finding another junior or senior, even graduate student who was going through a lot of the same crap I am with classes? Man, wouldn't it be nice to have someone there who actually does empathize because they've been through it or will be?

 

[Loren Booda]

My Yale alum magazine reports the Yale is considered to be "Gay Ivy," i.e., "most hospitable to gay students." (I would sometimes think there "Was that a homosexual or basher who just muttered 'gay'?")

Nevertheless, now I'm having a great time with my girlfriend and working for an "open" organization with a rainbow of personalities.

 

[adrian87]

My Yale alum magazine reports the Yale is considered to be "Gay Ivy," i.e., "most hospitable to gay students." (I would sometimes think there "Was that a homosexual or basher who just muttered 'gay'?")

Nevertheless, now I'm having a great time with my girlfriend and working for an "open" organization with a rainbow of personalities.

I'm not sure how a university could win the contest of "most hospitable to gays". Do they give them a separate bathroom for hook-ups? ;)

I would think the only important thing when it comes to hospitality is the attitude of the people on campus. It's fine to have a lot of people who aren't comfortable with LGBT people, as long as they're accepting of them and aren't actively protesting their existence (or right to be left alone in general). I think that's the case here in Idaho - most people aren't hot on the idea of imagining gay sex of their gender, but they don't have a problem with knowing a friend or two of theirs is gay.