I am feeling quite low. Let me start by telling you a bit about myself. As a child I was always asking "why?" I was also very curious. When I got older I found I was not bad at "math" and science. I read books like men of mathematics and biographies on Feynman and I began to form plans about becoming a pure mathematician and or theoretical physicist. I dreamed of discovering the fundamental laws of the Universe and proving mathematical conjectures like the Riemann Hypothesis. I dreamed of becoming a modern Gauss, Newton, Einstein. My first wake up call were mathematics competitions and Olympiads, I was not very good at them (I am still not I can't solve a Putnam problem to save myself) and could not solve most of the difficult problems despite banging my head against them for hours. When I looked at the solutions I thought "How could I have ever come up with this?". None the less I read that one does not need to be great at mathematics competitions to be a great mathematician so I set to work at university with the aim of one day winning a Fields Medal. I saw people like Edward Witten, Michael Atiyah, Freeman Dyson, Grothendieck and thought "I am like them, I can do something ground-breaking like that". I set myself the goal of getting a Phd from Harvard or Princeton and eventually becoming a professor at the institute for advanced study. I told myself that my genius simply had not be recognized. Skip to sophomore year and I have a B- average in my mathematics and physics courses and I am feeling terrible. I am far from the best student in my classes, I am amazed at the way my colleagues pick up concepts and solve problems. I often forget details from class (my memory is fairly average) and my lack of revision has hurt my grades. The thing that has hurt them most however is the jealously of people who are more gifted than I (If they don't have to study as hard, why should I?). I have tried to focus on the mathematics (Why is this thing true) but I am continually reminded of my own failures compared to others. My dreams are in ruins and yet I keep dreaming of winning a fields medal or doing something great. Other times I see what the greats have done by the time they were my age (20 soon to be 21) and I realise that I just don't have what they have/had. Why are some people just so much smarter than me? I have read quotes by some mathematicians saying things like "There are two ways to do great mathematics. The first is to be smarter than everybody else. The second way is to be stupider than everybody else—but persistent.", but what is the point when the talented will think so much deeper and quicker? I have read Terry Tao's article about not needing to be a genius in math, but it does not seem to mean much coming from him. I have also read many of the threads on here but I have not found them to help me. What is the point in becoming a mathematician or physicist if I will never get a job at the institute for advanced study, win a fields medal or do something great? What is the point if I am subpar and cannot get a postgrad research position or I spend the rest of my life teaching undergrad engineers calculus 1? I have the passion but the failures are getting to me and I have little hope about the future. Should I drop out and do something else? How do you come to terms with not being the best or very good at what you really love?