Losing motivation and enthusiasm in first year of grad school

[Aero51]

Yes, that is the realization I came to today. It was in the back of my head for a long time but I tried to be "optimistic" I was walking back to my apartment when I realized I don't want to spend my next 4-5 years here. I wasn't panicking, I wasn't nervous. I was calm and level headed. I feel better.

 

[Amok]

There are stressors associated with getting letters of recommendation, ect. there is also a risk that I will not get accepted into another institution.

If you explain why you dropped out of grad school in the first place, people might sympathize. I wouldn't worry about it right now though.

 

[Aero51]

Hey, just wanted to update this thread and post an article for anyone who is interested or going through something similar. I have been seeing doctors and I think things are going to get "on track" now that I have a diagnosis and medication that I think will work out in the long term. I found a good article which quantifies the feelings I (and I'm sure many others) have experienced but have so far been unable to convey. The following link is a paraphrase of the paper:

"Affective instability as rapid cycling: theoretical and clinical implications for borderline personality and bipolar spectrum disorders."

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/Waves.htm

Hopefully this link will help others who are caught "in the fog" so to speak.

 

[fire8085]

I had to look twice to make sure I didn't write your post.

I pushed through undergrad and was pretty happy overall. I'm in a terminal masters program now and kind of wish I took time off. The classes aren't super difficult but I'm spending such little time due to lack of interest on my classes that my grades are suffering a bit.

I also recently had anxiety/panic issues which has caused me to stop working out and becoming depressed. I'm trying to figure out if I want to swap from physics to something else right now or just trying to find a job.

I figure at least getting through this semester will help me get clearer perspective.