I'm crying and suicidal. and a bit hungry

[BadBrain]

I once saw a student write \frac{\hbar}{2}i\geq\frac{\hbar}{2} in a third year undergrad physics course.

If i is greater than or equal to one, then he's correct.

Could you clarify the value of i?

And what does h stand for? Hypotenuse? If this a trigonometric equation, then your student was obviously wrong.

But you're leaving me guessing as to the value of your variables.

 

[BadBrain]

Stole this one from Chicago's famous radio "journalist" Paul Harvey:

Definition: Hypotenuse:

Occupied lavatory aboard an airplane!

(Get it?)

 

[BadBrain]

Ok technically this new job is at a community college so no, not university students. However, after telling my adviser about these near-Einsteins, he commented to me that he had students in our physics for non-engineers (so not even physics for poets/morons) who didn't know how to do inverses (that is, 1/x = 5/8... x =...)

Well, OK, so I'm aware that some young offenders are sentenced to community college (at least they are in my state), so your story begins to make more sense than my own observations concerning genuine university graduates.

 

[micromass]

If i is greater than or equal to one, then he's correct.

Could you clarify the value of i?

And what does h stand for? Hypotenuse? If this a trigonometric equation, then your student was obviously wrong.

But you're leaving me guessing as to the value of your variables.

i is the imaginary constant, i.e. i^2=-1
\hbar is Planck's constant (or something like that)
2 is 1+1

 

[Jack21222]

Not good! It's really not good if your students can't master questions that can be easily tackled with algebra. Does your university actually have any entrance requirements or do they just want the tuition money?

This is just speculation on my part, but I suspect these students did quite well in their respective algebra classes. Students just seem to have a habit of dumping all knowledge as soon as they take an exam on a topic.

So, it's quite possible that even a university with entrance requirements might let in students that got an A in their previous classes, but have since forgotten everything they've learned.

 

[NeoDevin]

If i is greater than or equal to one, then he's correct.

Could you clarify the value of i?

And what does h stand for? Hypotenuse? If this a trigonometric equation, then your student was obviously wrong.

But you're leaving me guessing as to the value of your variables.

i = \sqrt{-1}

 

[BadBrain]

Well, what is the answer? Don't just leave it dangling like that in suspense!

WhoooahKay! Here's the correct answer:

The government of the National Socialist German Workers Party was dissolved by the Allied Powers on 23 May, 1945. Construction of the Berlin Wall (officially the "Anti-Fascist Protective Barrier") was begun by the government of the German Party of Socialist Unity of the German Democratic Republic on 13 August, 1961, for the purpose of preventing the escape of GDR citizens to the west. Publius Quinctillius Varus (not Varius, I got that one wrong!) led the XVII, XVIII, and XIX Legions into the forest of Teutoburg (literally, the "Earthworks of the People" (far preferable to the "Anti-Fascist Protective Barrier"), where my ancestors made mincemeat of them (more literally than most of you would care to think!) in 9AD.

 

[BadBrain]

Micromass and NeoDevlin:

OK, now you're violating the laws of mathematics.

How can any even-numbered exponential have a negative number as a product?

If this is, indeed, an "imaginary constant". then what's its purpose?

 

[lisab]

Micromass and NeoDevlin:

OK, now you're violating the laws of mathematics.

How can any even-numbered exponential have a negative number as a product?

If this is, indeed, an "imaginary constant". then what's its purpose?

Trust me, there's no violation. Keep taking math and physics classes, and you'll know soon enough !

 

[micromass]

Micromass and NeoDevlin:

OK, now you're violating the laws of mathematics.

How can any even-numbered exponential have a negative number as a product?

If this is, indeed, an "imaginary constant". then what's its purpose?

It's the definition of i. Basically, we adjoin a number i to \mathbb{R} that has the property that i^2=-1. Of course, i cannot be a real number, as the square of a real number cannot be negative. So i has to be another kind of number: a complex number.

The purpose of complex numbers was (originally) to being able to solve equations. It was nothing more than a handy tool in the beginning. But now complex numbers have even found their way into physics and electrical engineering.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_number

 

[BadBrain]

Doesn't anybody want to take me up on my "Siphon Theory" challenge?

Like I said, I like winning online arguments, and I'm clearly losing this one!

 

[HeLiXe]

*pats Helixe on the head* there there, we all make mistakes.

Just kidding, I'm perfect. You should be ashamed.

*wags tail*


*suddenly snaps tail sharply in your direction rendering one of your eyes inoperable*

 

[Pengwuino]

*wags tail*


*suddenly snaps tail sharply in your direction rendering one of your eyes inoperable*

BAD UNDERGRAD BAD