I have an issue. I love mathematics, i enjoy it as one of my favourite past times. I enjoy exploring ideas and reasoning. Over the past few years it has been an ideal of mine to be a mathematician, but over time i have become slightly disenchanted with the field of PURE mathematics. I have begun to question why i must play with groups, fields and rings. I want to find a deeper meaning and TO ME mathematics does not give answers to the fundamental questions of the universe, in fact i challenge anyone to tell me how mathematics alone is anything more than a game. Where mathematics becomes the most wonderful of all subjects, is only in conjunction with physics. The two go hand in hand. But i digress. When i was 15 (only a few years ago) i was obsessed with the idea of becoming a great mathematician, and to that extent exploring mathematical beauty. I had read of this beauty in the books of E.T Bell and listening to conversations with the great mathematicians. Yet when i explored mathematics i did not find beauty, i only found truth, truth such as a wading through pure binary would provide. You see, what mathematics provides is truth, truth in the platonic realm of mathematics. I argue that truth is not beautiful. Truth is just so. To express it as beautiful is to gain pleasure from it. To a large extent i believe you can gain pleasure from mathematics, but i do not agree that that makes it any more beautiful than breathing or eating. Some claim that mathematics is the IDEAL subject, that it is more fundamental than ANY other subject, be it physics, chemistry, law, history, medicine, art. That Mathematics is somehow reading the mind of god. I disagree. Mathematics is a game we created. Some claim it is an art. To a large extent i agree, but it lacks the creativity of art (AHHHHHH i hear you shout, an Unbeliever), i define creativity as the ability to think outside the box. To a large extent you must do that in mathematics, but you can never truly step outside the box and question the axioms of mathematics. That is where i lose the beauty of mathematics. Math is useful, but it is not beautiful. If it was beautiful it would be robbed of its function to be useful. If it were beautiful we could express our very feelings in it. We cannot do that. Beauty is subjective and mathematics is not. I believe there is a cult surrounding mathematicians today. A cult of some percieved genius. Firstly they seem to believe that their field alone is important and secondly they believe that you have to be the cream of the crop to persue PURE mathematics. What if it begins to bore you, all this talk of hilbert spaces and metric spaces, which have nothing to do with space, or you question the deeper reasons for something? You are labelled as to stupid to see the beauty of mathematics and forever seen as an uneducated moron. Well the time has come to face the music. Mathematics is not the queen of science, she is the handmaiden of physics. Anything more than that is playing a game. A game with rules that have no justification. A game which i do not deny is enjoyable, and this is where i suppose the "beauty" is, but that is often labelled as the intellectual jewel in the crown. Despite all i have said i still enjoy some aspects of pure mathematics. I will not be surprised if you all hail me a fool and a moron, just don’t do so without providing reason. For without reason there is nothing.