Ivan Seeking said:
Do you really accept the notion that a fetus is not a life at 89 days, but it is at 90 days? Does that really make any sense?
That really makes perfect sense. The line has to be drawn somewhere, your argument here could be carried on until things like IUDs and birth control pill can be called murder as well (ie, if it's life at 89 days, why not 88? if it's life at 88 days, why not... if it's life at 1 day, why not at fertilization?) If you want to debate about where to put the line, that's fine, but your argument as you posted it is that you can't draw a line, which is just ridiculous (note that some people say the line should be drawn at fertilization, that's a different argument from you saying there can't be a line, also note that the line doesn't necessarily have to be a specific time, it could be based on the development of the fetus as measured by some test, which is slightly different in everyone).
For the rest of your post: The state can't stay completely out of the raising of children, or there would be no way to protect from abusive parents. Even if the parents are not doing it to intentionally hurt the child, (like say, people who deny their children vaccines or other important medical procedures) they can be found guilty of neglect or abuse. I would put forth that indoctrinating violent hatred (no, I'm not saying that all religion falls into this category) should be considered a form of child (mental/verbal) abuse, and the parents punished accordingly. This is another place where a line must be drawn somewhere, though I'm not sure where that line should be drawn, it is something that must be considered.
To clarify: I think we could all agree that it should be (and I'm pretty sure it is) considered abuse if a parent consistently told their child things like, "You're evil/worthless/garbage/stupid/whatever, and you deserve to be beaten!" Something a little less obvious might be: "Homosexuals are evil/worthless/garbage/stupid/whatever and they deserve to be beaten!" (or similarly, a homosexual parent telling their child the same about heteros). Should this be considered abuse? Before you answer that, consider how that child would feel if, at some point in their life, they realized they were attracted to someone of the same sex. I knew someone who committed suicide because of this very situation; to me, this would be abuse, plain and simple. Similar arguments can be made for teaching hatred of atheism (which is not necessarily a choice) and other religions (which is more likely to be a choice), though the argument gets a little weaker with each step. Teaching hatred of anything early in life can lead to serious mental hardship later on, especially if the child turns out to become the thing he was taught to hate, because all that hatred is suddenly directed at himself. This is why I would argue that teaching hatred to children should be considered abuse, and punished accordingly.
It could also be argued that impairing a child's ability to reason (eg. teaching ID, creationism, or other pseudoscience and pseudoscientific thinking as fact and logic) is abuse, though I can't bring myself to support this position, as it too easily opens the way for "legislating truth".
[/OffTopic] (if you want to continue this, please move the relevant posts to a new thread about state interference in parenting)