Quantum Gravity made too simple.

[Jimmy Snyder]

I will work with supernatural units in which $\hbar = c = 1$ and further, $\pi = e = -1 = 1$.
Using these units, and some minor calculation we see that the Lagrangian is:

$$\mathcal{L} = 1$$

This not only simplifies matters, but leads to remarkably accurate predictions. For instance, if we assume that the S matrix is given by

$$S = \sum_{n=0}^{\infty}S^{(n)}$$

where

$$S^{(n)} = 9 (.1)^{n+1}$$

Then we have $g = 0.99\overline{9}$, in remarkable agreement with the experimental value of 1, the error being only $0.0\overline{0}1$.

What's more, by setting 0 = 1 we have the following grand unification of quantum mechanics and general relativity.

$$(i\not{\partial} - m)\psi = 0 = 1 = 0 = R_{\mu\nu} - \frac{1}{2}g_{\mu\nu}R - 8GT_{\mu\nu}$$

In my next paper, I will investigate the implications of the further simplification $\frac{1}{2} = 8 = 1$.

 

[HallsofIvy]

Okay, I admit- you got me. I actually wrote out a response pointing out all the errors when, while trying to decide how to respond to the last line, it finally hit me- this is a joke!

 

[marcus]

Funny! I came to this thread immediately after watching a Samantha Bee episode on Daily Show, and it's right in the same vein.
She was explaining the terms used to describe the gathering of Cardinals to elect a Pope.

 

[tom.stoer]

There is no single pope but a landscape of popes; you find the correct vacuum state by catholic reasoning which requires 3 = 1; from this equation you can derive both the existence and the non-existence of god, so it's a theory of everything.

 

[sheaf]

vacuum state by catholic reasoning which requires 3 = 1;

only if you have the correct ... wait for it...cardinality

 

[MathematicalPhysicist]

Don't forget:

$$1+2+3+\cdots =-\frac{1}{12}$$

Now everything makes sense.

:-D