Question about sticky eyes (communication)

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the concept of "sticky eyes" in communication, particularly focusing on eye contact dynamics in various social contexts. Participants explore differing opinions on the appropriateness and effects of maintaining eye contact, especially between genders and in different types of relationships.

Discussion Character

  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Exploratory

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants suggest that the effectiveness of "sticky eyes" may vary by gender and context, proposing that men should avoid it with other men but use it with women, while women may use it among themselves.
  • Others question whether the context is business or romantic relationships, indicating that the appropriateness of eye contact may differ based on the situation.
  • A humorous post raises the idea of using actual adhesive for eye contact, expressing discomfort with the notion of using someone else's eyes.
  • Several participants agree that while eye contact is important, excessive staring can be perceived as threatening or dominant, and that individuals may have different preferences regarding eye contact.
  • Some participants note that they find it easier to think when not maintaining direct eye contact, which can lead to misunderstandings about their attentiveness.
  • References to body language suggest that tilting the head can indicate interest, with some sharing personal experiences related to this non-verbal cue.
  • One participant mentions a book discussing a public figure's use of eye contact, questioning whether it is a deliberate strategy to convey confidence or seduction.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants express a range of views on the effectiveness and appropriateness of "sticky eyes," with no clear consensus on the best approach to eye contact in different contexts. Disagreements remain regarding the implications of eye contact and individual preferences.

Contextual Notes

Participants highlight the variability in personal comfort levels with eye contact and the potential for misinterpretation based on individual differences. The discussion also touches on the influence of cultural and situational factors on communication styles.

dratsab
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I've read a few books on how to improve communication and social skills, but I noticed some disperaties. In one book, it said that the more you can apply sticky eyes (not taking your eyes off the person) the better. In another book, it said avoid sticky eyes, because it will make the other person uncomfortable with you. The first was written by a woman, so it could be possible it's just an acceptable strategy for ladies, than with men. So, I'm guessing this is how it works:

Man - Man (avoid sticky eyes)
Man - Woman (use sticky eyes)
Woman - Woman (use sticky eyes)

Is this correct?
 
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Is this in business or romantic relationships?
 
What type of adhesive is recommended? And do you have to use your uniquely own eyes, or can you also use eyes that you may have acquired from others?

I ask because if a person stuck somebody else's eyes on me, I might feel a little uncomfortable.
 
whatever you do, don't stare. it signals dominance and could be taken as threatening or creepy.

everyone is different, tho. i can think better sometimes about what someone is saying if I'm not looking directly at them. this will really annoy some people, and they seem to think you're not paying attention to them. I've actually noticed a guy maneuvering to get in my line of sight when i broke eye contact with him. so, you've got to be adaptive.

tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.
 
Proton Soup said:
whatever you do, don't stare. it signals dominance and could be taken as threatening or creepy.

everyone is different, tho. i can think better sometimes about what someone is saying if I'm not looking directly at them. this will really annoy some people, and they seem to think you're not paying attention to them. I've actually noticed a guy maneuvering to get in my line of sight when i broke eye contact with him. so, you've got to be adaptive.

tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.

I had the same thought about too-intense eye contact, it can come off as creepy.
 
I thought this post was going to relate to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StickyKeys" (which I really don't understand, but which my computer always tried to turn on, especially if the baby has been reaching at the keyboard).

That aside, I'd say it's important to make eye-contact, but not stare (into someone's eye's or at anybody part -- yours or theirs).
 
Last edited by a moderator:
As for eye contact Lucy Wadham in a book I read recently: "The Secret Life of France" recounts a weird experience with Sarkozy, apparently he tries it on with a woman in every press conference etc. and it works. (The book is apart from that worth the money if you are going to have anything to do with the French.)


Proton Soup said:
tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.

This is as far as I know a little emphasised aspect of body language. Some few women (I can only speak of) use head movements, I don't say necessarily deliberately, to incredible captivating effect and you don't realize it is happening.

I for a short time had a fiancee who used this movement you mention a lot, it showed she was very interested in what she was saying. :cry:
 
Proton Soup said:
whatever you do, don't stare. it signals dominance and could be taken as threatening or creepy.

everyone is different, tho. i can think better sometimes about what someone is saying if I'm not looking directly at them. this will really annoy some people, and they seem to think you're not paying attention to them. I've actually noticed a guy maneuvering to get in my line of sight when i broke eye contact with him. so, you've got to be adaptive.

tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.

Agree'd, one time I was trying the sticky eyes on someone, and I found it hard to concentrate on what they were actually saying. I think if they see you looking away, they assume you are spacing out.
 
epenguin said:
As for eye contact Lucy Wadham in a book I read recently: "The Secret Life of France" recounts a weird experience with Sarkozy, apparently he tries it on with a woman in every press conference etc. and it works. (The book is apart from that worth the money if you are going to have anything to do with the French.)

interesting, thanks. http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/2009/06/sarkothesexdwarf/

i wonder if he does it intentionally? that is, to effect a change in his own demeanor that shows up on camera/to the audience as a sort of confidence or seduction?
 
  • #10
Thank you. That's the word - sex dwarf! I couldn't remember it and had given the book away, but that is exactly the passage.
 

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