Relationships and Game Theory

  • #26
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Moonbear said:
I'm at the health sciences center (you know, the building on the big hill :rofl: ...for everyone else...ALL the buildings are on big hills)
Actually, I haven't gone to a game yet, but they use my parking lot for the tailgaters, which is really annoying since it means I have to plan at least a week ahead to get a special parking permit for a different lot if I want to work on a game day. :grumpy: We support research, blah blah blah...but only if it doesn't interfere with football. Oh well, it forces me to stay home one day a week.
Awesome! :biggrin: Where are you in the building? I'll stop by to say hi...sometime.
 
  • #27
Lisa!
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You know something, what you said is alittle strange. Your gf's done something that you don't like and then tell you about that! :surprised women usually don't speak to the person they love when they get invoved in this situation.
1. She may not want to be with you. So she told you about what she did in order to make you end the relationship.(perhaps she's afraid of doing that by herself) So in fact you're doing her a favor by ending the relationship!(who cares? you should just do what you think it's right and don't care whether she likes it or not.
2. She want to be with you and she just made a mistake and immediately felt bad about that, so she decided to talk to you. In this case she's really a honest person and likes you alot and if she's changed the story for the second time, that means she loves you too much and has told you a lie because she doesn't want to lose you.

Now you're the only 1 who can get to decide why she's kissed a man and more important than that, why she's told you about that. because we don't know your gf at all.

<That was an optimistic view :tongue2: >
 
  • #28
Objective, well-adjusted people would say that you did the right thing. From what you said, it sounded like she wanted you to either end it or do something that would justify her ended it beyond fancying someone else. She did just that. Good money says something along the lines of: "I told him it was an accident but he didn't care..." will be the official line to friends and family. Ho hum. But you ended it with dignity: rational and calm. Damage control good. Being calm and rational is not being cold-hearted. People have a problem with that kind of response cos they can't handle it - it's unexpected. It's second only to devious and cruel in my book. Hope you get over it very quickly mate. Try not to dwell. There's a whole host of cliches giving you better advice than I can, except maybe this: now is a good time to be amongst friends, moderate amounts of alcohol, and beautiful women as often as poss.
 
  • #29
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TheStatutoryApe said:
I was still wondering though: Do you think the fact that I was analytical and detached about the matter makes me a cold person?
I'm sincerely worried that my relationship experiences are driving me in a direction that I don't want to go.
How else should one approach relationships? I often wish I were more analytical with such matters.
 
  • #30
loseyourname
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Moonbear said:
Heh heh heh...yep...moved here just to keep an eye on you! :devil: (I was preparing to move when you were asking about gambling laws here...now, how about getting together for a rousing game of bowls?) :rofl:

Damn, you just ruined the theory I put forth a few years back that no one ever voluntarily lives in WV. Maybe Morgantown is a bit more happening than the parts I've been through, but it seemed every person I met was born there, and most wanted to leave.
 
  • #31
loseyourname
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deckart said:
:biggrin: See, Gale17 is aware of your breakup and is already hitting on you.

She just turned 18 and she's already going for the older men. TSA learned his lesson - stay away from the younguns.
 
  • #32
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loseyourname said:
She just turned 18 and she's already going for the older men. TSA learned his lesson - stay away from the younguns.

nah, i've always liked older men, sides, stat'ape told me ages ago he liked older ladies. but hey, lyn... whats goin on?
 
  • #33
loseyourname
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Gale said:
nah, i've always liked older men, sides, stat'ape told me ages ago he liked older ladies. but hey, lyn... whats goin on?

Yeah, I got the feeling you've always liked older men. Only now you can legally pursue them.

And what do you mean StatutoryApe told you before that he preferred older women? Are you insinuating that you've actually tried to pick him up? Shame on you, Gale. (insert indignant emoticon that I refuse to use here)
 
  • #34
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Gale? Is that you?
 
  • #35
loseyourname said:
Yeah, I got the feeling you've always liked older men. Only now you can legally pursue them.

And what do you mean StatutoryApe told you before that he preferred older women? Are you insinuating that you've actually tried to pick him up? Shame on you, Gale. (insert indignant emoticon that I refuse to use here)
Knowing me I may very well have said something to her and added a disclaimer so that she did not think that I was picking up on her.
 
  • #36
loseyourname
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Ha ha. You often come across as if you are hitting on people you talk to, do you?
 
  • #37
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heh, ya its me zooby. and i may have considered hitting on mr. ape. i don't remember how it came about. but I could always legally pursue older men, they just couldn't pursue me back.
 
  • #38
Hurkyl
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It sounds almost as if this has come up before...
 
  • #39
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Gale said:
heh, ya its me zooby.
I didn't recognize you at first. Done something new with your hair?
 
  • #40
Hurkyl
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Maybe she's been using a dinglehopper?

Hrm... maybe new seashells?
 
  • #41
honestrosewater
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Hurkyl said:
Maybe she's been using a dinglehopper?

Hrm... maybe new seashells?
:rofl: You have the soundtrack, don't you? And you sing along with it in the shower? I knew it!
 
  • #42
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not to retrack the offtrack convo, but..


good call ditching the girl. She got lonely after 3 days? Don't leave for a week or she'll get married and have kids while you're gone :rolleyes:

I can tell you from what I've seen and my own personal experience that dating a girl more than 4 or 5 years younger than you never goes well, at least until you're in your late 20's early 30's. Too much grief. :yuck:
 
  • #43
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Sounds like you did the right thing to me TSP (can I be that informal with you? It's hard to type out your full name with the 2 finger hunt and peck method :rofl: ). It sounds like she was playing mind games with you, trying to get you to break it off with her so she can blame you for the whole thing (which she probably did anyway). Seem like instead of being mature enough to handle it something like "listen, I'm not sure about this relationship any more and I think we should make it more casual and start seeing other people" she goes and creates a situation where she hopes you'll fly off the handle.

I don't think it makes you cold hearted to be analytical like you were. I say good job at keeping your cool, not thinking with the wrong part of your anatomy:wink: and throwing a big logical, non-emotional monkey wrench in her plans :biggrin:
 
  • #44
TheStatutoryApe said:
So last night my girlfriend decides to tell me that she "accidentally" kissed some guy at her work.

It's not an "accident". That's a red flag. Can you imagine being married to her and going for a few days then all of a sudden something "accidental" happens. Yikes.

Choose wisely.
 
  • #45
Thank you everyone for your input. She's definitely been kicked to the curb.

LYN said:
Ha ha. You often come across as if you are hitting on people you talk to, do you?
Yeah, probably. I believe I accidentally flirted with you once even.

honestrosewater said:
:rofl: You have the soundtrack, don't you? And you sing along with it in the shower? I knew it!
Hurkyl I want my soundtrack back! I haven't gotten to listened to Under The Sea in forever! :mad:
 
  • #46
Danger
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TheStatutoryApe said:
Back to flirting with older women for me!
If you want to borrow one for a while, I need a rest. Mine's 55, with a positively frightening sex drive. :surprised

Sorry it happened, but I agree with the general consensus. You made the right move, in a graceful manner. She clearly wanted out, without taking the responsibility for it. If you hadn't reacted as you did, her 'accidents' would have continued to escalate until you had no choice.
 
  • #47
Hurkyl
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You have the soundtrack, don't you? And you sing along with it in the shower? I knew it!
Borrowed the movie from a friend. :tongue2: (And watched it/listened to it far too much in the past two weeks)
 

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