Responding with Why? to a binary question

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the social dynamics and communication styles involved when one person responds with "Why?" to a binary question. Participants explore the implications of such responses in personal relationships, particularly focusing on the expectations of straightforward answers versus the desire for deeper discussion.

Discussion Character

  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Exploratory

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants express irritation at responses like "Why?" when expecting a straightforward answer to a binary question.
  • Others suggest that asking "Why?" may indicate a desire for discussion rather than avoidance of the question.
  • A few participants propose that the response could depend on the context or the relationship dynamics, such as trust or past experiences.
  • One participant mentions that the response could be a shorthand way of inviting elaboration on the question asked.
  • Another viewpoint highlights that human communication is rarely binary, and responses can carry multiple meanings based on familiarity and context.
  • Some participants share personal anecdotes that illustrate their own communication styles, including a tendency to give binary answers to questions that may not be intended as binary.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally do not reach a consensus on whether responding with "Why?" is appropriate or bothersome. Multiple competing views remain regarding the motivations behind such responses and their implications in communication.

Contextual Notes

Some discussions touch on the influence of personality types (Type A vs. Type B) on communication styles, but these observations are not universally accepted and remain part of the broader debate.

  • #31
lendav_rott said:
I find it pointless to inquire about an inquiry. If the person asks, I will answer their question.

So if someone asks you if they can borrow your gun, you think it's pointless to ask why they want to borrow your gun?
 
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  • #32
leroyjenkens said:
I usually answer "yes, why?" or "no, why?", when I want to know the reason for the inquiry. I think just asking "why?", without answering, seems a bit rude.

Read post #4
 
  • #33
lisab said:
I'm guilty of sometimes giving a binary answer to a question that was not intended to be binary.

Example: if someone asks me, "Do you want to go to Chicago or New York?", my answer would be an enthusiastic, "YES!"

Most people don't understand :biggrin:.
Yeah, I do that, too.

My favorite response to the question, "Is your new baby a boy or a girl"? - is "Yes."
 
  • #34
leroyjenkens said:
So if someone asks you if they can borrow your gun, you think it's pointless to ask why they want to borrow your gun?
If I did have have a gun, I would simply say "no" , no reason to ask why they need a gun, not many things to choose between :D
 
  • #35
It irks me when people respond with "why?" - most of the time it doesn't matter. It is almost as bad as when people respond to yes or no questions with maybes. For example: "Are you hungry?" "I dunno, kinda".. THAT IS NO A DEFINITIVE ANSWER. My roomie is the king of answering questions like this. I hate people who cannot give straight answers to any question.
 
  • #36
lendav_rott said:
If I did have have a gun, I would simply say "no" , no reason to ask why they need a gun, not many things to choose between :D

So you assume, possibly incorrectly, that they're going to kill someone or commit suicide.
"Can I borrow your gun?"
"No"
"Ok bye"
He goes and jumps off a building.

Or...
"Can I borrow your gun?"
"Why do you want to borrow my gun?"
"I want to kill myself"
"Let's go get you some help"
You both live happily ever after.

I hope you don't have any suicidal friends.
 
  • #37
If one has decided to commit suicide, god bless man. If they really want to die they will find ways other than a bullet in the head and if they Really want to die, no amount of comfort and nice words will change that. No, I don't have any suicidal friends, I appreciate the concern. Although I love the way you gave the other example, fortunately I don't have to deal with that, therefore it isn't my concern, since I don't have time enough to worry about such things and god forgive me, I don't really care.
 
  • #38
There is another question that I always answer with a question:

"Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

:D
 

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