Romantic Moment on the Brougham Bridge - William Rowan Hamilton

[loseyourname]

I had a girl tell me that romantic was holding her hair back while she vomited in the toilet. I liked that girl.

 

[Evo]

Hey, I'm right there with ya. Pull up a chair at the late night Denny's table of loneliness. The company is good. The food is cheap. And the doors are always open.
By the end of your meal you'll be glad that you have as much as you do.

Oooh, I could use a Grand Slam right about now. All I've got is a smelly dog with an attitude.

Also, with all the hunks you've known, who needs a specific romantic moment, hmm?

I still want romantic memories.

I guess gorgeous hunks don't feel the need to be romantic, they figure they're doing you enough of a favor just by dating you.

 

[Evo]

I had a girl tell me that romantic was holding her hair back while she vomited in the toilet. I liked that girl.

That's kind of romantic.

My first husband told me that when I cried, he had to fight back the urge to burst out laughing. Not romantic.

 

[Moonbear]

I guess gorgeous hunks don't feel the need to be romantic, they figure they're doing you enough of a favor just by dating you.

That's why geeks are better to date. They put a lot more effort into being romantic.

 

[Huckleberry]

My first husband told me that when I cried, he had to fight back the urge to burst out laughing. Not romantic

That's why geeks are better to date. They put a lot more effort into being romantic.

This so reminds me of a poem I read a few months ago. I'll see if I can dig it up and post it here.

edit- Found it. It makes me feel like even a casual encounter should have some romance to it, some meaning.

Sharon Olds "Sex Without Love"
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health--just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.

 

[loseyourname]

Casual encounters are romantic - romantic in the way that a runner's high is romantic when you lose sight of everything except the perfection of each stride - knees high, elbows in. Focus without thought. It's Nirvana, and sex can be the same thing. It's even more romantic that it makes no difference whatsoever who it is with. Personal identity is not well-suited for true romance.

 

[loseyourname]

That's kind of romantic.

My first husband told me that when I cried, he had to fight back the urge to burst out laughing. Not romantic.

My first wife swallowed a bottle of xanax and forced me to stay with her all night keeping her awake so that she wouldn't die in her sleep. All because I wanted to go out. That is romantic in a manner of speaking, but not in the way I want a woman to be romantic.

 

[Huckleberry]

Casual encounters are romantic - romantic in the way that a runner's high is romantic when you lose sight of everything except the perfection of each stride - knees high, elbows in. Focus without thought. It's Nirvana, and sex can be the same thing. It's even more romantic that it makes no difference whatsoever who it is with. Personal identity is not well-suited for true romance.

I hope you don't mind if I disagree.

 

[Evo]

My first wife swallowed a bottle of xanax and forced me to stay with her all night keeping her awake so that she wouldn't die in her sleep. All because I wanted to go out. That is romantic in a manner of speaking, but not in the way I want a woman to be romantic.

That's sad that you had to put up with someone like that.

I would have dumped her off at a hospital and gone out. Oh, and changed the locks on the doors. I have zero tolerance for stupidity.

 

[Jason]

"She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath
And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown
So, I light a fire, isn't it good, Norwegian Wood"

-John Lennon, "Norwegian Wood"

What a tender scene of the first coy, carnaby blue. Dancing to Paris, like a Celt in wool and satin, cut and true; all Good and in a Day, adorned and adored, forever in the second, Araby fair, like a ribbon around the moment, and the shimmer in her hair...

I first heard Norwegian Wood when I was but ten years-old, perhaps. I imagined that it described me as a man having an affair, which ended with her parting, laughing at her first flight to morn (mourn). He was left, smiling the smile forlorn. So, I imagined, that in the warm bath, the steam as sultry as the hours to while, wiping the soap from his eyes, stinging like the fading of her smile. And in the warmth of the water, her scent floated with the steam and gathered in the dew; he lit his herb or cigarette and closed his eyes, another melancholy mist floating above, like the bird that flew...

So many years later, it was after a first night with my beautiful ballerina: I was in my own bath the very next day, knowing that however we commenced, it was already ending some other way. So,it was just as I thought the song could; I lit my cigarette and wondered; isn't it good, Norwegian Wood...

 

[Jason]

Chère Evo,

"Yet, I know nothing but the "enigma wrapped in an "enigma," about which and about whom I have unwrapped, untethered, untied, and undressed, letting drop the linens, longings, and linings upon and around which Mademoiselle would master a theory in guise. And for all the parsing and pursuing of leanings and meanings, of rhythm and rhyme, one found but the allure of an enigma, imbued and erotic, as she is a theory of songwriting, silent, sensual, yet strumming."

Jason

Like, Eliot's Pruffrock:! I read this every night. And as she comes and goes speaking of things and Michelangelo:" It is...sosoooosexy

 

[Moonbear]

Casual encounters are romantic - romantic in the way that a runner's high is romantic when you lose sight of everything except the perfection of each stride - knees high, elbows in. Focus without thought. It's Nirvana, and sex can be the same thing. It's even more romantic that it makes no difference whatsoever who it is with. Personal identity is not well-suited for true romance.

I have to go with Huck on this one. Nothing romantic about casual encounters, they are anti-romantic, just about satisfying selfish pleasures (not that there aren't times that's a good thing). To me, romance the connection you feel when you share something, both partners giving, not when you just take for yourself (even if the other person is doing the same).

 

[Astronuc]

I have to go with Huck on this one. Nothing romantic about casual encounters, they are anti-romantic, just about satisfying selfish pleasures (not that there aren't times that's a good thing). To me, romance the connection you feel when you share something, both partners giving, not when you just take for yourself (even if the other person is doing the same).

I would agree with that. I have never engaged in 'casual encounters'. I have always been interested in getting to know someone and developing long-term and meaningful relationships.

Evo,

Something tells me you shag like a minx...

I may be old fashioned, or perhaps, like Don Quixote, just of step in the modern world, but a comment like that really pisses me off. It is NOT romantic, but rather boorish, rude and vulgar, and otherwise disrespectful to Evo and all other women.

I would never say such words to a lady, and I would be very upset if any man such a thing in my presence.

I would prefer not see such garbage, here on PF or anywhere else.

Evo has demonstrated her remarkable good nature, and seems to take it in stride. Nevertheless, Jason, I think you should apologize to Evo and the ladies at PF.

 

[Jason]

Originally posted by Astronuc
Jason, I think you should apologize to Evo

Chère bein' sexy, bien sûr:

Evo, I have absolutely no desire to pick a fight or condescend to you. Your intelligence, sensitivity, and courage are striking. They are imbued with an erotic energy as well. I admire that and I encourage it.

I do not wish to offend you in any way, even though my rebuke was exceptionally sharp. Let me explain. I had to fight to get into Columbia University, as I matriculated as a much older student. The entrance qualifications are brutally high; the curriculum brutally demanding; the professoriate world-famous; the student body largely rich and arrogant; the cost immense. I worked three jobs at while attending, and I still managed to graduate with full honours, Magna Cum Laude.

There is a most personal significance that the academic experience has for me; I won't bore with the tedious details, but suffice it to say that the experience was a vindication and a redemption of a misspent youth as it were.

I admire your attempts to take on issues---and ideologies and figures, if but to speak truth to common myths or lies. And thus, I can be very, very bracing when it comes to the area of debate. I had to fight to gain access to a place that would give me the wherewithal to study, to understand, to address, to confront, and perhaps to atone and redeem.

Therefore, if I have offended in some way, I apologize. I thank you for your gracious post; I owe you the same.

I would hope that you would not mind my corresponding with you via the private mail; if you would prefer that I did not, please let me know. Your wish, as the saying goes, is my command. And if you would prefer that, in the event that you would continue the informal correspondence, that I amend my tone or manner in some way, please let me know. It is, of course, your right.

I would, in the event that we continue to correspond privately, that what I post to you via the personal mail remain private; therefore, should we have an area of disagreement, that it might not be one to include other members. Indeed, if I feel like posting some concept on the boards I do so. Private messages are, at least in my view, just that.

I hope that no feelings were unduly upset, and I extend my best regards, wishes, and apologies for any undue brusqueness, condescension, or untoward comments on my part.

I can be a real pain in the ass. Of course I responded thus, "Uh-huh, but I do have my bad points, too, you know..."

This message then, is certainly not as enigmatic or sexy as any of yours, but you may assume rightly that it is heartfelt. Tous mes sentiments les meilleurs.

Jason

 

[loseyourname]

I have to go with Huck on this one. Nothing romantic about casual encounters, they are anti-romantic, just about satisfying selfish pleasures (not that there aren't times that's a good thing). To me, romance the connection you feel when you share something, both partners giving, not when you just take for yourself (even if the other person is doing the same).

I guess you haven't had the same kind of 'casual encounters' that I have. All I mean by the term is a sexual experience with someone that I am not committed to beyond that one night. There is nothing in this conception that says one must take without giving or that one must be selfish. Ideal sex is selfless, not in the sense of giving at the expense of receiving, but in the sense of a complete breakdown of ego boundaries. Ideal sex involves both partners being true to the literary ethos and showing, not telling, exactly what it is that gets them off the most, and then collapsing into a formless mass of excited flesh, an organism not quite human that can only exist for a brief while, and that exists solely for the purpose of unadulterated pleasure in isolation from all of the remaining world and the cares that it brings. Sex can be transcendental in the way that a day hoeing beans was for Thoreau. I find it terribly romantic that an encounter like this can take place with a person whose name you are not even sure of; I find it doubly romantic that, in an encounter like this, you can forget your own name.

I also find it rather sad that no one ever seems to have these encounters unless they are in love. It is very difficult to be in love. It is not difficult at all to have great sex.

 

[loseyourname]

I think the most romantic thing a girl ever did for me was tattoo my initials on her back five days after meeting me. I bet everyone thinks that sounds like an idiotic thing to do, but it was nothing gratuitous. She was already getting an astrological design and she added a very discrete, barely noticeable set of letters embedded into the design. No one would even recognize it other than she and I. Chances are, I'll never see her again, but according to her, that was the best week of her life and she wanted something permanent by which to remember it long after she had gone home.

 

[Evo]

Your intelligence, sensitivity, and courage are striking.

You definitely have me confused with someone else.

 

[loseyourname]

You're like the Helen of Troy for physics geeks, Evo. What is that like?

 

[Evo]

You're like the Helen of Troy for physics geeks, Evo. What is that like?

Oh dear. Is that why I am all alone? I thought it was because I was incredibly boring, yet opinionated and intolerant.

I feel much better now.

 

[Danger]

Nope, zero.

Ok, I'm REALLY depressed now.

That does it! You definitely have to come over and check out my basement. Astronuc is welcome as a chaperone, as long as he promises to hold the camera steady.

no walks on moonlit beaches, just walks in circles around parking lots; no roses or chocolates, just aspirin

Moonbaby, I would gladly walk you around, through or over any hotel on the planet. I also have a formidable arsenal of medicine on my person at all times.

This is me as of this morning.

We could have such beautiful children together...

I'm 38 also

When the hell was your member photo taken? I thought you were about 20.

-John Lennon, "Norwegian Wood"

Isn't that supposed to be "Norweedish Wood"?

I hope you don't mind if I disagree.

Back at ya'. My most romantic times involved one-nighters. I'm not going to tell about the best one, because the circumstances are unique and would identify the people involved. Leave it suffice to be said that it involved the sisters of both the bride and the groom at a wedding that I was best man for.

 

[Moonbear]

I also find it rather sad that no one ever seems to have these encounters unless they are in love. It is very difficult to be in love. It is not difficult at all to have great sex.

Perhaps most other men are not like you. I've only had one "casual encounter" as you phrase it...not someone I had never known before, but who was just a casual acquaintance from parties and such...I'd never do that again. An emotional bond just heightens the experience to such a level that sex without that emotional component falls flat. This may be something that varies among individuals, but having had the experience of being deeply in love in a long-term relationship, nothing casual even comes close.

 

[Math Is Hard]

When the hell was your member photo taken? I thought you were about 20.

Gee, thanks. I think I was 36 in that photo. I posted it quite a while ago.

 

[franznietzsche]

That's why geeks are better to date. They put a lot more effort into being romantic.

Only the less jaded of us. I wouldn't waste my time anymore. Not worth it.

 

[Evo]

Only the less jaded of us. I wouldn't waste my time anymore. Not worth it.

Hey, the Child of Evo may be available soon. She's smart, funny and non-psycho. She was tops in forensic debate and can surely hold her own in a conversation.

Plus she surprised me today with my favorite extreme tots and cherry lime-aid and returned most of my cd's she had "borrowed".

 

[Math Is Hard]

Plus she surprised me today with my favorite extreme tots and cherry lime-aid and returned most of my cd's she had "borrowed".

LOL! At least she got you a gift she knew you'd like! Did she gift wrap the CDs?

 

[Danger]

having had the experience of being deeply in love in a long-term relationship, nothing casual even comes close.

That's great if you can get it. I really was in love with the ex-from-hell, but sex with her wasn't romantic. It was more like, 'Can you hurry it along? I have to get up early.' The one nighters were definitely better, maybe because we were trying to impress each other. I must admit, though, that the current crop of STD's puts a somewhat different spin on things.

Gee, thanks. I think I was 36 in that photo. I posted it quite a while ago.

And here I've been taking it easy on you all this time because I thought you were too young.
(Gale doesn't count as too young because she's really sick, in the good way.)

Hey, the Child of Evo may be available soon.

Do tell...

You know, if you keep playing hard-to-get, I just might have to drop a generation.

 

[loseyourname]

Only the less jaded of us. I wouldn't waste my time anymore. Not worth it.

Here is a classic piece of 'geek romance' from A Beautiful Mind:

"I find you very attractive. Your assertiveness tells me that you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. But all I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible."

 

[Evo]

LOL! At least she got you a gift she knew you'd like! Did she gift wrap the CDs?

No wrapping. Just happy to have them back. (we like a lot of the same music)

Wow, my other daughter just showed up and gave me a ceramic Flamingo cookie jar. It's so great, I LOVE it! (if you haven't guessed by now, I don't go for traditional gifts)

 

[Evo]

Here is a classic piece of 'geek romance' from A Beautiful Mind:

"I find you very attractive. Your assertiveness tells me that you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. But all I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible."

Yep, that's about as romantic as I've ever had anyone be.

 

[Huckleberry]

I guess you haven't had the same kind of 'casual encounters' that I have. All I mean by the term is a sexual experience with someone that I am not committed to beyond that one night. There is nothing in this conception that says one must take without giving or that one must be selfish. Ideal sex is selfless, not in the sense of giving at the expense of receiving, but in the sense of a complete breakdown of ego boundaries. Ideal sex involves both partners being true to the literary ethos and showing, not telling, exactly what it is that gets them off the most, and then collapsing into a formless mass of excited flesh, an organism not quite human that can only exist for a brief while, and that exists solely for the purpose of unadulterated pleasure in isolation from all of the remaining world and the cares that it brings. Sex can be transcendental in the way that a day hoeing beans was for Thoreau. I find it terribly romantic that an encounter like this can take place with a person whose name you are not even sure of; I find it doubly romantic that, in an encounter like this, you can forget your own name.

Back at ya'. My most romantic times involved one-nighters. I'm not going to tell about the best one, because the circumstances are unique and would identify the people involved. Leave it suffice to be said that it involved the sisters of both the bride and the groom at a wedding that I was best man for.

I can appreciate your point of view. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have had more sexual encounters that I could remember fondly. To me, this seems more like passion and not at all like romance. I agree with about half of loseyourname's definition. (I think I'm beginning to understand why you chose that name.) Romance is selfless and can be transcendental. It can also be very down to earth. (The ritual goodnight kiss, cooking the evening meal together, pulling weeds from the garden and sharing a smile.) I don't believe it is about pleasure seeking or is independant of commitment. It has nothing at all to do with sex. It is about humbling yourself completely before another person. It is about love and devotion. It's what keeps a relationship together.

I would also like to say that I do believe it is possible to have a casual encounter that is romantic. People have lives and expectations placed on them that they must fulfill. Sometimes two people can meet and feel romance, but their circumstances just don't allow them to remain together. Sometimes a romantic gesture can go unnoticed or unwanted. Its still romantic. And sometimes it just doesn't work out and something shrivels up inside. Something that was never yours to begin with, but is worth remembering all the same. accentuates the pain or the pleasure that one would normally feel.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.