Seeking advice on proper child rearing

[ice109]

there are a lot of intelligent people on this forum and I'm sure some of you have children. I've thought a lot of about child rearing ( not that I'm about to do it ) and the right way and the wrong way to do it. I'd be interested to hear how some of you have raised your children. Please let's not make this an opinion thread, I just want to know how people who have children have raised or are raising them. E.G. what kind of things you let them do, not do, authoritarian vs authoritative, drugs, sex, hw, etc.

 

[Evo]

I used my mother's philosophy about child rearing. Basically, if they are my child, they'd better be smart.

From the very beginning I made my children make their own decisions. Of course I set parameters. They chose their own clothing from the time they were able to convey a message. I didn't care if the top was orange and the bottom was green and they wore pink shoes with blue socks. It gave them a sense of empowerment even though it was a meaningless thing. It gave them the confidence to make decisions. I always had seasonally appropriate clothing in their closets, the out of season clothing stored away.

Same with eating. I would give a choice, for example chicken or hotdogs. Broccolli or spinach. My kids ended up favoring vegetables.

I never placed food on their plate and told them to eat it whether they liked it or not. I offered healthy choices and let them pick.

I also had no rules. But I made it clear that their choices had consequences that they would have to live with. As a result, they would ask my opinion a lot. They would observe the other children around them and see the stupid things they did and we would discuss how stupid those kids were and my kids didn't want to be like them. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? But the truth is they are out there, they're the reason hair dryers have tags warning not to use them under water.

As a result, my kids never smoked, or drank or did drugs, they never rebelled, or argued with me or did stupid things. Now that they are adults, they still consider me their best friend and we talk everyday.

 

[ekrim]

I used my mother's philosophy about child rearing. Basically, if they are my child, they'd better be smart.

From the very beginning I made my children make their own decisions. Of course I set parameters. They chose their own clothing from the time they were able to convey a message. I didn't care if the top was orange and the bottom was green and they wore pink shoes with blue socks. It gave them a sense of empowerment even though it was a meaningless thing. It gave them the confidence to make decisions. I always had seasonally appropriate clothing in their closets, the out of season clothing stored away.

Same with eating. I would give a choice, for example chicken or hotdogs. Broccolli or spinach. My kids ended up favoring vegetables.

I never placed food on their plate and told them to eat it whether they liked it or not. I offered healthy choices and let them pick.

I also had no rules. But I made it clear that their choices had consequences that they would have to live with. As a result, they would ask my opinion a lot. They would observe the other children around them and see the stupid things they did and we would discuss how stupid those kids were and my kids didn't want to be like them.

As a result, my kids never smoked, or drank or did drugs, they never rebelled, or argued with me or did stupid things. Now that they are adults, they still consider me their best friend and we talk everyday.

That's almost exactly what my mom did with my sister and I and that last paragraph describes how we am now.

 

[ice109]

That's almost exactly what my mom did with my sister and I and that last paragraph describes how we am now.

"how we am" ?

 

[Evo]

English may not be their first language, you should see some of the gems I've posted due to editing that I had to go back and correct. Be nice.

 

[ekrim]

English may not be their first language, you should see some of the gems I've posted due to editing that I had to go back and correct. Be nice.

No...we speak english. Let's just say i was being ironic?

 

[Chi Meson]

... I just want to know how people who have children have raised or are raising them. E.G. what kind of things you let them do, not do, authoritarian vs authoritative, drugs, sex, hw, etc.

If you want to know, I mean really want to know, how we are raising our three children, well...
http://www.theday.com/profiles/i_profile.aspx?re=81fed3e1-9ea2-45ad-8922-8bd5d12b158e
My wife writes a regular column for our regional newspaper about parenting. The link is to the index of her articles. A good one to start with is the one about "play dates."

 

[Evo]

If you want to know, I mean really want to know, how we are raising our three children, well...
http://www.theday.com/profiles/i_profile.aspx?re=81fed3e1-9ea2-45ad-8922-8bd5d12b158e
My wife writes a regular column for our regional newspaper about parenting. The link is to the index of her articles. A good one to start with is the one about "play dates."

Those are great Chi! Tell your wife I love her column.

 

[hypatia]

I was a strict parent. I made one dinner with the only choice of, eat it or not, but its a long time till breakfast. Home work came first, then chores, and if both were done then they had play time. I had rules, and punnishments clearly layed out, and I have no guilt when a swat on the bottom was called for.
My kids turned into wonderful adults, I'm very proud of them.

 

[Math Is Hard]

This woman does a great impression of my mom!

 

[hypatia]

lol that was great!