Dismiss Notice
Join Physics Forums Today!
The friendliest, high quality science and math community on the planet! Everyone who loves science is here!

She Doesn't Appreciate Science (Ideas?)

  1. Dec 22, 2012 #1
    My girlfriend and I have a great relationship (about as well as you can have for a LDR). There's only one (1) problem.

    She doesn't seem to really care or understand WHY science is so... may I say "beautiful"? I've tried explaining it to her, she just doesn't seem to be affected like me. I'm a physics major (first year), so it hurts a bit that she doesn't seem to care about what I'm learning about. Of course she'll ask how everything is going, but other than that, we never talk about science like I wish we did.

    I understand that not everyone is crazy about math, but why would anyone dislike science? It's the order of the universe, it's elegant, amazing. I love sciences. I am always reading and learning.

    Do you guys have any ideas on how I can awaken her curiosity a bit?

    ** I didn't put this in relationship advice because I feel this is more of a general topic.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 22, 2012 #2

    phinds

    User Avatar
    Gold Member
    2016 Award

    I have a LOT of sympathy for your plight, but the kind of solution you want does not exist.

    You want to change her fundamental nature. Isn't going to work. You might get her to fake it but things will go downhill eventually if she does. Take her the way she is or don't take her.
     
  4. Dec 22, 2012 #3

    Evo

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    Phinds is right, either accept her lack of interest or find someone else if it's that important. I would say it's more the norm that the person you choose as a BF/GF/mate doesn't know that much about what you do. If you were a welder, would your girlfriend have to know about and enjoy welding?
     
  5. Dec 22, 2012 #4
    *sigh*

    I guess you're right. She was born into a religiously conservative society. Considering that I've helped bring her across the bridge to reason and evidence, I can't ask for much more.
     
  6. Dec 22, 2012 #5

    Evo

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    With time and true excitement on your part, with no pushing or expectations, she may find a true interest in what you do.
     
  7. Dec 22, 2012 #6
    We'll see. I can hope, can't I? :biggrin:
     
  8. Dec 22, 2012 #7

    Astronuc

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    It would help. :rofl:


    At university, I dated a girl who had a GED. I was starting to think seriously about her until she responded with "Who?" when I made a comment about Einstein. I then mentioned special relativity and the famous E = mc2. She had no idea. At that point, I realized a closer relationship would be problematic, and if we ever got married, she would have no idea about my work, and it would be difficult to share it with her. We remained friends, and I cared about her a lot. It wasn't so important that she would understand relativity or physics, but it was problematic for me that she had essentially no knowledge of even some simple matters in science. There were some other issues as well.
     
  9. Dec 22, 2012 #8

    Evo

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    If I had to select men by those that understood what I did at work, I'd never have dated.
     
  10. Dec 22, 2012 #9
    Well, thankfully, I'm not in such a situation. she understands basic science. She's most certainly not stupid. She likes evolutionary biology and the like. So, it's nice to be able to talk to her about this, but that's as far as it goes. She also knows basic physics (HS stuff).

    I'm a bit curious about the GED comment. So, GED = stupid?

    and by the way, I've know people who didn't know who Einstein was. It was a sad day.
     
  11. Dec 22, 2012 #10

    Evo

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    Apparently some people make a distinction. No, it means that they didn't give up and tried to better themselves.
     
  12. Dec 22, 2012 #11

    Astronuc

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    No, not at all. She came from a really bad situation - father unknown, abusive stepdad, mother died, she ran away from home at 14. She had some smarts, and she survived a tough childhood.

    I was about 21 at the time. What was important was not so important later on.
     
  13. Dec 22, 2012 #12
    You have to find something that she is equally passionate for and compare. She doesn't have to understand, she just needs to relate.

    I did this with my mother on multiple occasions. One time was a while ago, after failed attempts to explain why math is beautiful because it is TRULY perfect. She was explaining the beauty in a painting someone had done for her (I don't care much for paintings) and she was trying to express to me why it was beautiful.

    I said "ah ha! that's how I feel for math and physics." In your case you could probably reference a certain aspect of religion.

    The other day I tried to explain to her the potential for quantum computing...lost hope on that one, she just ain't wired for it.

    EDIT: been a member for almost four years, first post! lol.
     
  14. Dec 22, 2012 #13
    I don't think it's important that she appreciates science. It's important that she appreciates that YOU like science. If she doesn't get it, but she understands that it's important to you, who cares?
     
  15. Dec 22, 2012 #14

    Femme_physics

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    I don't think it matters, everyone who is too obsessed with their subjects, even if it's holy physics, need to learn how to relax and every now and then. If that's the only major thing that bothers you about your GF, I say she's a keeper.
     
  16. Dec 22, 2012 #15

    turbo

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    She might indeed be a keeper. Be nice and she'll be nice back. My wife has little interest in math, physics, astronomy, etc, though she loves to come out to the 'scope to look around. Some things take time, too. Just be nice.
     
  17. Dec 23, 2012 #16
    She's not religious anymore. But I understand what you're trying to say.

    She seems to like "hands on" stuff more. I'd LOVE to take her out under the stars, if circumstances would allow. I also want to try some simple chemistry with her (nothing dangerous!).

    And of course I'm nice to her. I love her. It's only a matter of sharing something that I enjoy with her. It's not a deal-breaker, but it would be a deal-maker.
     
  18. Dec 23, 2012 #17
    I can not wait for the day that I have that problem.
     
  19. Dec 23, 2012 #18

    Danger

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    Astrum, I agree with the others of my generation. It doesn't matter whether or not she loves science, as long as she loves (or even tolerates) you. :tongue:
    The fact that she has some understanding and appreciation of it is a bonus.
    You can try sneaking in some stuff once in a while, like pointing out the chemistry (based upon physics) of what's going on as a cake that she is baking is in the oven. Or why some laundry detergents are more effective than others upon some types of stains.
    The foregoing was in case that she's a "girly" girl (ie: hoping to be a housewife, ala the 1950's). Gender-neutral examples would be the working of an inertial reel seatbelt system in her car or the physics involved in a passenger elevator.
    I don't mean that you should be pedantic or "preachy" about it; you might be able to slide in a simple related fact, and then elaborate if she bites the bait.
    Even if you don't do that, or you do and it doesn't work, don't abandon the relationship because of it. You two obviously have something, and that's worth holding on to regardless of common ground.
     
  20. Dec 23, 2012 #19

    Ryan_m_b

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    People are different and just because someone doesn't share your interest doesn't mean it's the end of the world. You can't make her like something she has no interest in, if this is a dealbreaker for you then that's that but ask yourself if it is really? There are other things in the world than science, even (especially) for scientists.
     
  21. Dec 23, 2012 #20
    Yes. I know what you're saying. I'm NOT going to leave her over something like this. I really love her. Really really really love her. She's mine, I love her as she is.

    I'm not always thinking about science, we both have hobbies that we like to do. I just thought that it would be fun to talk about science with her.

    She loves me a great deal too. We're all set in the love/friendship department. Neither of us have any intentions of leaving each other.

    I'll try to work some science in to our usual conversations...in a sly manner.
     
Know someone interested in this topic? Share this thread via Reddit, Google+, Twitter, or Facebook