The Big Question: Folding or Scrunching Toiletries?

[Danger]

Wow, this is still going?

Yeah. It's amazing what bored people will latch onto.

 

[_Mayday_]

I can't believe so many people fold!

 

[Moonbear]

I can't believe so many people fold!

Well, we have evidence in an old thread somewhere that about 30% of PF users lie on polls.

Edit: Ah, here it is!
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=68084

 

[Kurdt]

I can't believe so many people fold!

I never knew there were two methods and people scrunched until a couple of years ago Yes I've lived a sheltered life.

 

[_Mayday_]

Put it this way. I would rather have a few inches of scrunched paper between my hand and my bum, than a folder who only has one or two layers.

 

[Kurdt]

Put it this way. I would rather have a few inches of scrunched paper between my hand and my bum, than a folder who only has one or two layers.

Thats why we should all wash our hands after we use the toilet

 

[_Mayday_]

Thats why we should all wash our hands after we use the toilet

Even though the final result may be the same (Clean hands and a clean bottom) I would prefer to skip the "Wash hands because 2 layers wasn't enough" stage.

 

[Kurdt]

Even though the final result may be the same (Clean hands and a clean bottom) I would prefer to skip the "Wash hands because 2 layers wasn't enough" stage.

You mean you don't wash anyway?

 

[_Mayday_]

You mean you don't wash anyway?

I wash my hands lol!

Before I dig myself into a massive hole I will say.

I wash my hands

I scrunch

 

[Danger]

Discussions like this make me wish that I was a dog.

 

[BobG]

Discussions like this make me wish that I was a dog.

So you could pick "I have a different method"?

 

[lisab]

So you could pick "I have a different method"?

Oh yes, look at post #5 from Mayday. Very unique!

 

[BobG]

Discussions like this make me wish that I was a dog.

So you could pick "I have a different method"?

Oh yes, look at post #5 from Mayday. Very unique!

Who do you have for a dog? Lassie?

"What's that? Timmy fell down a well?"

"He didn't fall down a well. He fell down something like a well?"

"He fell down some kind of hole?"

"Oh, that kind of hole. Here, Lassie! Take him this toilet paper! And be sure to fold it!"

 

[lisab]

Who do you have for a dog? Lassie?

"What's that? Timmy fell down a well?"

"He didn't fall down a well. He fell down something like a well?"

"He fell down some kind of hole?"

"Oh, that kind of hole. Here, Lassie! Take him this toilet paper! And be sure to fold it!"

 

[BobG]

Finally, a better solution.

Now it doesn't matter whether you fold or scrunch.

 

[Evo]

The roll is on backwards. Or maybe which way the roll goes warrants it's own thread.

That's scary bob.

 

[Moonbear]

Bob, you're an evil, evil person!

And that roll's on the right direction...at least if you have a cat who likes to paw at the roll. In this direction, she just keeps is wound up...if it was the other direction, she'd have it all unrolled onto the floor.

 

[NeoDevin]

My cat goes for the dangling sheet end, so it doesn't matter which way I put it.

 

[Moonbear]

My cat goes for the dangling sheet end, so it doesn't matter which way I put it.

Ah, in that case, that may be the perfect roll of TP for you!

 

[NeoDevin]

Ah, in that case, that may be the perfect roll of TP for you!

Until it comes time to wipe with it.

Maybe I should put that one out as a decoy, and hide the real one.

 

[kldickson]

It's buttwipe.

I do what's not messy and cleans my arse reasonably efficiently.

 

[Danger]

It's buttwipe.

I do what's not messy and cleans my arse reasonably efficiently.

Reasonably efficiently? I'll never give up my soap and water.
Bob, no matter how much of a Red Green fan I am, that duct tape is out of place. Unless you have shaved your ***, that is just begging for pain.

 

[DaveC426913]

Reasonably efficiently? I'll never give up my soap and water.

Note to self: bring own bar of soap when visiting Danger's place.

 

[tmyer2107]

Note to self: bring own bar of soap when visiting Danger's place.

This thread gave me a good laugh. And I am more of a crumpler.

 

[nismaratwork]

Folding. There is no dignity or honor in scrunching.

 

[Borg]

Mine doesn't fold or scrunch.

 

[Evo]

Mine doesn't fold or scrunch.

 

[Dembadon]

This thread is my favorite.

 

[Bararontok]

To minimize the amount of toilet paper used in the wiping of the inner side of the buttocks and the anus, it is advisable to use a high pressure fine nozzled spray built into the toilet to spray off the fecal residue that clings to the flesh in the lower extremities of the excretory system. To keep the amount of water used by the spray to a minimum, the buttocks must be spread out over the toilet bowl as widely as possible to minimize contact with the fecal matter that is being ejected from the rectum since this ensures that the water jet will only need to be circulated around the lining of the anus for a maximum of five 360 degree cycles. After majority of the residue has been washed off, the toilet paper will only be placed inside the buttocks and anus for the purpose of absorbing the moisture deposited by the spray. For this purpose, only six plies of toilet paper are needed and they must be neatly folded in half. The user must then stand, shake off the collected water droplets in the lower extremeties into the toilet bowl and proceed to stretch open their buttocks to permit the insertion of the toilet paper. The buttocks should then be closed and the toiler paper left in for a few seconds to absorb the moisture before the buttocks are again opened so that the paper can be removed and deposited into the toilet bowl where it will be flushed into the sewer along with the ejected fecal matter. This technique ensures that the amount of toilet paper used is kept to a minimum and even though the spray slightly increases the amount of water used by the toilet, it compensates for the wastage because it takes substantially larger amounts of water and trees to make toilet paper.

 

[nismaratwork]

To minimize the amount of toilet paper used in the wiping of the inner side of the buttocks and the anus, it is advisable to use a high pressure fine nozzled spray built into the toilet to spray off the fecal residue that clings to the flesh in the lower extremities of the excretory system. To keep the amount of water used by the spray to a minimum, the buttocks must be spread out over the toilet bowl as widely as possible to minimize contact with the fecal matter that is being ejected from the rectum since this ensures that the water jet will only need to be circulated around the lining of the anus for a maximum of five 360 degree cycles. After majority of the residue has been washed off, the toilet paper will only be placed inside the buttocks and anus for the purpose of absorbing the moisture deposited by the spray. For this purpose, only six plies of toilet paper are needed and they must be neatly folded in half. The user must then stand, shake off the collected water droplets in the lower extremeties into the toilet bowl and proceed to stretch open their buttocks to permit the insertion of the toilet paper. The buttocks should then be closed and the toiler paper left in for a few seconds to absorb the moisture before the buttocks are again opened so that the paper can be removed and deposited into the toilet bowl where it will be flushed into the sewer along with the ejected fecal matter. This technique ensures that the amount of toilet paper used is kept to a minimum and even though the spray slightly increases the amount of water used by the toilet, it compensates for the wastage because it takes substantially larger amounts of water and trees to make toilet paper.

Somehow that missed being funny and just hit 'disturbing'. I never need to read the words, "fecal," or, "buttocks," for a LONG time.