There are worse things in life than never being someone's sweetie

[dipole]

"There are worse things in life than never being someone's sweetie"

Just listening to Morrissey and the above line of his got me thinking... certainly one can imagine worse fates in life than never being loved, but how far would you go?

Would you choose to be paralyzed but loved dearly by someone you also love, or free to walk until old age got the better of you, but live a life alone?

How important is being loved by another person to a human being? Is your life significantly less valuable if you don't have someone who loves you?

I suppose we can treat two cases separately:

Case 1: Being loved by family and friends, but never having an intimate and sexual relationship with someone, and never having the kind of openness one can only have with a lover.

Case 2: Being completely alone, no one knows or cares about your existence.

I think the first case most people can get by, but the second really does seem not worth living. Thoughts?

 

[256bits]

It is not a choice between one or the other which you seem to imply.

Case 1: That is assuming that all "lovers" have an "openness" which is surely not always the case. It also would assume that the "openness" you refer to could not be achievable between individuals who are not lovers. Perhaps you should define the openness to which you refer. With your friend who suffers from a cold or flu you might tell him you look really awful. You might tell your lover that she looks a little bit under the weather.

Case 2: Robinson Crusoe anyone?
One can have many people around you - friends , family, lovers - and still feel completely alone, and life not worth living, so I do not agree with your assumption here that just being alone makes life not worth living.

 

[redbluepurple]

It sure is nice when it happens, but don't count on it.

By the way, where are all you physics nerds? I need a date or something to keep my mind off how boring and dull and mundane my life is.

 

[Lavabug]

Just listening to Morrissey and the above line of his got me thinking... certainly one can imagine worse fates in life than never being loved, but how far would you go?

Would you choose to be paralyzed but loved dearly by someone you also love, or free to walk until old age got the better of you, but live a life alone?

How important is being loved by another person to a human being? Is your life significantly less valuable if you don't have someone who loves you?

I suppose we can treat two cases separately:

Case 1: Being loved by family and friends, but never having an intimate and sexual relationship with someone, and never having the kind of openness one can only have with a lover.

Case 2: Being completely alone, no one knows or cares about your existence.

I think the first case most people can get by, but the second really does seem not worth living. Thoughts?

Loneliness sucks. I wouldn't wish a life without a partner to my worst enemy.

 

[FeDeX_LaTeX]

By the way, where are all you physics nerds? I need a date or something to keep my mind off how boring and dull and mundane my life is.

I'm right here!

 

[BhutJolokia]

Loneliness sucks. I wouldn't wish a life without a partner to my worst enemy.

Tesla made the decision to never marry so I can't imagine it being as nightmarish as some seem to believe it to be.

 

[Evo]

I enjoy a life alone without the drama, without the hassles, doing what I want, when I want.

 

[dipole]

It sure is nice when it happens, but don't count on it.

By the way, where are all you physics nerds? I need a date or something to keep my mind off how boring and dull and mundane my life is.

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now, so I'm not lonely. I just can't really imagine being happy or satisfied being alone, knowing what it's like to have someone like I have now, hence posing this question.

Tesla made the decision to never marry so I can't imagine it being as nightmarish as some seem to believe it to be.

Tesla was a paranoid recluse who went off the deep end later in life, and he died with his career and finances in ruin. You've chosen a very poor example.

I enjoy a life alone without the drama, without the hassles, doing what I want, when I want.

It sounds like you're jaded from a string of bad relationships. My girlfriend and I have plenty of rough spots, but we're also in a very unusual circumstance which makes things difficult at times. At the end of the day though, she's my best friend and we make each other very happy. I often wonder if most people get to experience what it's like to really love someone and be loved, the way I feel I do and am by her. I don't think I'd see much purpose in life if I had to give that up.

 

[johnqwertyful]

It sounds like you're jaded from a string of bad relationships. My girlfriend and I have plenty of rough spots, but we're also in a very unusual circumstance which makes things difficult at times. At the end of the day though, she's my best friend and we make each other very happy. I often wonder if most people get to experience what it's like to really love someone and be loved, the way I feel I do and am by her. I don't think I'd see much purpose in life if I had to give that up.

I hate his mentality so much. I'm single, by choice. People always try to figure out "what's wrong", just like you did with him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, or choosing to be single. People are different. Not everyone "needs" a relationship. Not everyone "needs" sex. Is it such a bad thing to be content alone? I'm very happy with my life. Why do I need a girlfriend? Should I NOT be happy? You're not alone in this attitude, but it's almost offensive, to be honest.

 

[johnqwertyful]

Just listening to Morrissey and the above line of his got me thinking... certainly one can imagine worse fates in life than never being loved, but how far would you go?

Would you choose to be paralyzed but loved dearly by someone you also love, or free to walk until old age got the better of you, but live a life alone?

How important is being loved by another person to a human being? Is your life significantly less valuable if you don't have someone who loves you?

I suppose we can treat two cases separately:

Case 1: Being loved by family and friends, but never having an intimate and sexual relationship with someone, and never having the kind of openness one can only have with a lover.

Case 2: Being completely alone, no one knows or cares about your existence.

I think the first case most people can get by, but the second really does seem not worth living. Thoughts?

What do you mean openness you can only have with a lover? I'm pretty open with my friends about everything. I don't need to have sex with someone to be open with them. My closest friends I'm 100% open and honest with.

Also, just because you're single doesn't mean that you're "completely alone". I'm single, I have loads of wonderful friends and family. I have friends I'd trust with my life. I love the hell out of my parents, I have friends I love like brothers. I'm far from completely alone.

 

[Evo]

There's also the argument that someone that depends on someone else for their hapiness is headed for trouble. You have to be able to be happy with yourself first.

Many people have never experienced being happy and secure alone, so they stick with a less than satisfactory relationship, or even a bad relationship out of fear of being alone. Even if it's a good relationship, they tend to fall apart when the relationship ends for whatever reason.

I've had mostly really great relationships that ended amicably due to our lives taking different directions. I've had a couple of unsatisfactory relationships that I ended, and it was a great relief to be free. I grew up at a time when women stayed at home and relied financially on the husband to be the wage earner and caretaker.

After I saw how my parents stayed together even though they did not belong together, and saw how it prevented both of them from ever finding true hapiness, either alone or with someone else, I decided I'd never allow myself to become trapped that way.

After 2 marriages and many relationships, I finally had to admit my happiest times were the times I spent alone. It works for me.

 

[lisab]

There's also the argument that someone that depends on someone else for their hapiness is headed for trouble. You have to be able to be happy with yourself first.

Many people have never experienced being happy and secure alone, so they stick with a less than satisfactory relationship, or even a bad relationship out of fear of being alone. Even if it's a good relationship, they tend to fall apart when the relationship ends for whatever reason.

I've had mostly really great relationships that ended amicably due to our lives taking different directions. I've had a couple of unsatisfactory relationships that I ended, and it was a great relief to be free. I grew up at a time when women stayed at home and relied financially on the husband to be the wage earner and caretaker.

After I saw how my parents stayed together even though they did not belong together, and saw how it prevented both of them from ever finding true hapiness, either alone or with someone else, I decided I'd never allow myself to become trapped that way.

After 2 marriages and many relationships, I finally had to admit my happiest times were the times I spent alone. It works for me.

It takes guts and courage to figure out what you *really* want, and go get it.

Your parents sound like my grandparents. They stayed together for...60+ years? Most of the time shooting angry, sarcastic words at each other right up to the end.

When the last one died, my aunt looked at the graves, right next to each other, and said, "They really did think that if they stayed together, they'd win some sort of prize at the end."

No prize at the end.

 

[turbo]

When the last one died, my aunt looked at the graves, right next to each other, and said, "They really did think that if they stayed together, they'd win some sort of prize at the end."

No prize at the end.

Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's going to stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.