I'm sick of research and I haven't even started my career yet lol

[ProfuselyQuarky]

I graduated last June and I’ve been a research technician ever since (at a school different from undergrad institution). When I have energy and am not stressed out about the impressions I’m making in the lab environment, the work I do is still quite enjoyable but more often than not this is not the case. I dread it. I dread having weekends and holidays interrupted with experiments. I'm tired of working 50+ hour weeks and commuting 3hrs everyday because I can't afford to move to live closer.

Friends who aren't doing wet lab work and are in private industry have a usual 9 - 5, they're not thinking about work after hours, go on trips and have lives outside of work, and they're making three times as much as me even though we graduated at the same time.

I love the science and I love being a part of research but I don't think I want this to be my entire life anymore and I don't want all the other aspects of my existence to suck just because I work in a lab. Part of it might also be a bit of loneliness because the grad students do grad student things and the post docs do post doc things among themselves and I'm just the one lab tech on my own.

I still want a PhD, I think most my complaints would be resolved since I would live close to campus and have more control over my hours. But I don't think I want to be in a lab for the rest of my life and, overall, my resentment towards being in a lab so soon out of undergrad is kind of sending me into an existential crisis. Everyone around me is so passionate about research and it is all I know.

 

[russ_watters]

Welcome to adulthood. Yep, it kinda does suck sometimes, but it tends to get better for most people. Acceptance is critical though.

 

[gleem]

You don't like research but you want a PhD? So what can we do for you?

 

[andresB]

I still want a PhD, I think most my complaints would be resolved since I would live close to campus and have more control over my hours. But I don't think I want to be in a lab for the rest of my life and, overall, my resentment towards being in a lab so soon out of undergrad is kind of sending me into an existential crisis. Everyone around me is so passionate about research and it is all I know.

The easy answer is to go into industry and, maybe just maybe, later do a Ph.D.

The rate of people really unhappy with graduate school is quite high, especially when there is lab work involved. 3 to 5 years of Ph.D then some more years of a badly paid postdoc and then you can't find a decent job in the overcrowded academia (https://www.youtube.com/@DrAndyStapleton)

So, my honest advice is to just go and do something else besides staying in academia.

 

[gmax137]

they're not thinking about work after hours

That freedom lasts for a few short years in "industry." Once you gain experience and start to be given more responsibility you can count on some long nights and busy weekends. Especially if you are driven to always do better, to get further along.

So, my honest advice is to just go and do something else besides staying in academia.

This sounds like something you should think about!

 

[andresB]

This sounds like something you should think about!

Most definitely.

 

[Choppy]

It sounds to me like there are a number of factors at play here beyond just whether or not you want to be doing research: long hours commuting, long hours in the lab, social isolation, desire to make a good impression. Some thoughts...

Commute - as you've indicated you either live closer or have to put up with a commute. But a couple ways to make this better might include finding a good social group to carpool with, or picking up some audiobooks and using the time to catch up on some reading.

Long Lab Hours - One of the great things about being a hired technician is that unlike a graduate student, you're paid specifically for your work. It might be time to have a conversation with your PI and establish some expectations. But the bottom line is that if they're expecting you to put in extra hours, you should be getting extra pay for it.

Impressions - I understand you want to make a good impression, particularly if you're planning to use people there as references for graduate school down the road. One thing you might try is, again, having a conversation with your PI and specifically request feedback on your performance. Don't assume that people are impressed by long hours alone.

Social Isolation - Make sure to have something else in your life outside of your work. Friends. Family. Pets. Hobbies. Sports. I find it really helps to have something like a goal to be working toward (writing a novel, running a half marathon, etc.) When your life is one dimensional and revolves around a single focus, when things in the lab go bad, it will feel like your whole life is bad. But if you have other goals, it's far more rare to have things go bad on multiple fronts. In that way, you keep things balanced.

Something else to consider on the social isolation front is that a lot of people go through this leaving university. During undergrad, there are opportunities for social engagement at every turn, but when you jump into the working world, suddenly those aren't as plentiful. It takes effort to seek them out.

Once you deal with the external factors that might be weighing you down, then it's time to take a good look at your career path and educational plans.

 

[pinball1970]

I graduated last June and I’ve been a research technician ever since (at a school different from undergrad institution). When I have energy and am not stressed out about the impressions I’m making in the lab environment, the work I do is still quite enjoyable but more often than not this is not the case. I dread it. I dread having weekends and holidays interrupted with experiments. I'm tired of working 50+ hour weeks and commuting 3hrs everyday because I can't afford to move to live closer.

Friends who aren't doing wet lab work and are in private industry have a usual 9 - 5, they're not thinking about work after hours, go on trips and have lives outside of work, and they're making three times as much as me even though we graduated at the same time.

I love the science and I love being a part of research but I don't think I want this to be my entire life anymore and I don't want all the other aspects of my existence to suck just because I work in a lab. Part of it might also be a bit of loneliness because the grad students do grad student things and the post docs do post doc things among themselves and I'm just the one lab tech on my own.

I still want a PhD, I think most my complaints would be resolved since I would live close to campus and have more control over my hours. But I don't think I want to be in a lab for the rest of my life and, overall, my resentment towards being in a lab so soon out of undergrad is kind of sending me into an existential crisis. Everyone around me is so passionate about research and it is all I know.

I cannot add to the guys advice in terms of goals and education.

In terms of your life?
It will get easier if you stick at it and you want it. You will get used to a lot.
Lack of sleep, early mornings, late evenings.

 

[ProfuselyQuarky]

You don't like research but you want a PhD? So what can we do for you?

Well, research itself is fine. Again, I ultimately enjoy the work I'm contributing towards. But there's a difference between hating research and being resentful about being subject to the timeline of senior scientists and PIs that are pretty detached from reality. Having a post doc ask, "hey can you do this for me asap" at 4pm on a Friday means I'm going to do it immediately even if it results into leaving the lab at 10pm and getting home at 12, only to have to drive back on Saturday morning lest my cells overgrow. But the resentment towards this is blending into the work itself often, which is the worrying part since I have years before this dynamic changes and I can choose things for myself.

Also, I know that, at least for my field, a ceiling is hit pretty fast without a PhD, even if I were to go into industry. And everyone I talk to thinks that a Masters is a waste of time. In my mind this is my only option if I want to get as far as I can, industry or otherwise.

 

[ProfuselyQuarky]

It sounds to me like there are a number of factors at play here beyond just whether or not you want to be doing research: long hours commuting, long hours in the lab, social isolation, desire to make a good impression. Some thoughts...

Commute - as you've indicated you either live closer or have to put up with a commute. But a couple ways to make this better might include finding a good social group to carpool with, or picking up some audiobooks and using the time to catch up on some reading.

Long Lab Hours - One of the great things about being a hired technician is that unlike a graduate student, you're paid specifically for your work. It might be time to have a conversation with your PI and establish some expectations. But the bottom line is that if they're expecting you to put in extra hours, you should be getting extra pay for it.

Impressions - I understand you want to make a good impression, particularly if you're planning to use people there as references for graduate school down the road. One thing you might try is, again, having a conversation with your PI and specifically request feedback on your performance. Don't assume that people are impressed by long hours along.

Social Isolation - Make sure to have something else in your life outside of your work. Friends. Family. Pets. Hobbies. Sports. I find it really helps to have something like a goal to be working toward (writing a novel, running a half marathon, etc.) When your life is one dimensional and revolves around a single focus, when things in the lab go bad, it will feel like your whole life is bad. But if you have other goals, it's far more rare to have things go bad on multiple fronts. In that way, you keep things balanced.

Something else to consider on the social isolation front is that a lot of people go through this leaving university. During undergrad, there are opportunities for social engagement at every turn, but when you jump into the working world, suddenly those aren't as plentiful. It takes effort to seek them out.

Once you deal with the external factors that might be weighing you down, then it's time to take a good look at your career path and educational plans.

This is a good analysis of the situation, and good advice. I agree that I should probably have a heart to heart with my PI, ask him how I'm doing, and tell him my concerns. It's really hard to complain or even suggest potentially shifting gears to industry here when everyone is so passionate about academia and the PI is making bets with post docs about what school they think I'll get into...now I have a whole lab full of connections to disappoint.

Also I think I'll have to come to terms with the fact that now is not my season for socializing. If I'm not in lab or driving or sleeping, I'm studying for entrance exams the best I can. But I know it's temporary.

I apologize if my post sounded lazy, I was exhausted and having an existential crisis in the midst of lab work and the thought of this being my life for years, at the moment, sounded abhorrent and too much to bear.

 

[gleem]

Well, research itself is fine. Again, I ultimately enjoy the work I'm contributing towards. But there's a difference between hating research and being resentful about being subject to the timeline of senior scientists and PIs that are pretty detached from reality. Having a post doc ask, "hey can you do this for me asap" at 4pm on a Friday means I'm going to do it immediately even if it results into leaving the lab at 10pm and getting home at 12, only to have to drive back on Saturday morning lest my cells overgrow. But the resentment towards this is blending into the work itself often, which is the worrying part since I have years before this dynamic changes and I can choose things for myself.

From your response, it seems that you are in a life science, which one and is that the one you might like to get your doctorate in? Your job should include a job description delineating the scope of work and expectations. If you do not know the rules you do not know how you are evaluated. You didn't indicate if this is a salaried position or not. It becomes a little more difficult if it is but there still should be limits. It seems to me that they are taking advantage of you. What do others in your position do?

 

[symbolipoint]

ProfuselyQuarky,
Just the topic title alone and some of my personal experience had shown a difference between academic research and what happens in the product development side of the working-world. Maybe the time has come that you should and could find some laboratory employment in product development. (Your actual field or subject, not clear).

 

[ProfuselyQuarky]

From your response, it seems that you are in a life science, which one and is that the one you might like to get your doctorate in? Your job should include a job description delineating the scope of work and expectations. If you do not know the rules you do not know how you are evaluated. You didn't indicate if this is a salaried position or not. It becomes a little more difficult if it is but there still should be limits. It seems to me that they are taking advantage of you. What do others in your position do?

The lab studies biochemistry, molecular biology, and biophysics, which is what I studied in college and what I would like to pursue a PhD in (actual topic unclear for now, this lab studies protein structure and mechanism for neurodegenerative diseases, and I like it but I'm also interested in plants). My job consists of basically performing standard protocols in the field and performing experiments to aid in the large projects and manuscripts of a senior post doc and PhD student here. The last time I had a conversation with my PI, he said he treats the role like a post-bacc so by the end of my time here I "should be equally competent to that of a masters student" in regards to research which is why I'm also required to give presentations and talks along with the rest of the lab.

My position is hourly but I basically have unlimited overtime and any hour I work I'm getting paid for. Sometimes half my paycheck ends up being just overtime alone but at this point I wish I had more time than more money.

And I'm pretty sure the role of "research tech" from what I've seen varies greatly, ranging from legitimately needing to understand the research and experiments to simply running protocols and doing lab dishes. I know people in equivalent roles and the amount of free time they have is immense due to their job expectations, but I guess it's ok because I'm getting more out of my time here...

 

[ProfuselyQuarky]

ProfuselyQuarky,
Just the topic title alone and some of my personal experience had shown a difference between academic research and what happens in the product development side of the working-world. Maybe the time has come that you should and could find some laboratory employment in product development. (Your actual field or subject, not clear).

Thanks for this, I admit I really don't know what other jobs consist of outside of academia, I should probably explore this more. My plans and goals have been pretty narrow since it's the only step to success I've seen anecdotally.

 

[kith]

In Europe, there's the option to do a PhD in industry or in semi-private research organizations. Universities are still involved but not in the daily work which usually is much more applied and more industry-like which comes with the usual pros and cons. The people I know who went down this path are quite happy with it (but it's probably a bad fit for people who are very driven and want to do pure research). Maybe there are similar options at your location?

 

[ProfuselyQuarky]

Just a lil update to this thread. I had a very long conversation with my PI. In regards to schedule, he said he expects me to work like salaried staff due to the nature of the work so, no, it doesn't mean I'll ever have that 9 - 5 esque schedule but that also means he doesn't give a damn about when I come in and leave as long as the work is being produced. So you best believe I came into lab at 9am today lol. Also choppy mentioned to make sure that I'm getting paid for extra hours--I am. I have unlimited PTO and get time and half for OT and double time on weekends.

In regards to performance, he said he was very happy with how much I'm learning and with the quality of data I'm producing, considering I've never worked in this field before this role. That my most recent lab presentation was well done and equivalent to what he'd expect from a first year student so that's good (?). That I'm allowed to say no to certain post docs and that I'm not their slave

He said my weakness was that I get visibly frustrated and stressed when things don't work out, which to a degree is good because it means I care, but also bad because science is full of failure and research is going to end me if I don't chill out lol.

My PI also said he hopes I apply to this campus this fall and he'll do everything he can to get me in because he wants me to stay in his lab. I know the chances of me actually getting admitted are basically zero but his words were positive so I appreciate the sentiment.

Quite frankly, with this conversation, I'm so tentatively relieved. the commute will be better since I won't feel pressure getting there early every single day (beat rush hour) and I'm going to put more effort into inserting myself into the department's social events that I never felt comfortable attending because I don't really feel like a member of the school.

Thanks for the advice! I don't feel like trash in this lab right now but I do still think academia might not be for me so I'm going to continue pursuing my education whilst also learning about other careers in the field lol.

 

[symbolipoint]

I don't feel like trash in this lab right now but I do still think academia might not be for me so I'm going to continue pursuing my education whilst also learning about other careers in the field lol.

That is the part with the greatest meaning from your post, although very general.

 

[berkeman]

Sounds like a positive meeting. That's good.

expects me to work like salaried staff

I have unlimited PTO and get time and half for OT and double time on weekends.

This sounds a bit strange, but I guess it's okay as long as you're okay with it. As salaried staff, I've never gotten overtime for weekends and holidays and 90 hour weeks...