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Is it typical for advisors to want to see their students cry?
Thesis Writing: Is Crying Typical for Advisors?
Click For Summary
Discussion Overview
The discussion centers around the emotional experiences of graduate students in relation to their thesis advisors, particularly whether it is typical for advisors to want to see their students cry. The scope includes personal anecdotes, perceptions of advisor behavior, and the emotional toll of the thesis process.
Discussion Character
- Debate/contested
- Conceptual clarification
- Exploratory
Main Points Raised
- Some participants suggest that it is common for advisors to expect emotional responses, such as crying, during the thesis process.
- Others express skepticism about the notion that advisors intentionally seek to see their students cry, labeling such behavior as unprofessional.
- A participant shares quotes from professors that imply emotional struggle is part of the graduate experience, framing it as a character-building exercise.
- Another participant contrasts the value of having a strict advisor with high expectations against the potential pitfalls of a more hands-off approach.
- Some participants reflect on their personal experiences, describing the emotional challenges and pressures they face while working on their theses.
- A later reply humorously exaggerates the relationship between advisor expectations and student emotions, suggesting a dramatic cycle of nurturing and destruction of ideas.
Areas of Agreement / Disagreement
Participants express a mix of agreement and disagreement regarding the emotional dynamics between advisors and students. While some acknowledge the pressures of graduate school, others challenge the idea that advisors should want to see their students cry, indicating a lack of consensus on this issue.
Contextual Notes
Participants' views are influenced by personal experiences and perceptions of advisor behavior, which may vary widely. The discussion reflects a range of emotional responses and interpretations of advisor-student relationships without resolving the underlying tensions.
- #2
lisab
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
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- #3
rootX
- 480
- 4
So the rumors I heard in the first week of my grad school are true!
- #4
drizzle
Gold Member
- 202
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It's in your head. Supervisors are walking angels...*
* To be continued.
* To be continued.
- #5
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lisab said:
"
" would have been more appropriate, 
- #6
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Gad said:
Lucifer was a walking angel (I hear he lost his wings).
- #7
chill_factor
- 898
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My professors would say:
"Its part of the program."
"No pain no gain."
"Builds character."
"Tears wash the face and cleans out your pores."
"Sobbing opens up the airways."
"Its part of the program."
"No pain no gain."
"Builds character."
"Tears wash the face and cleans out your pores."
"Sobbing opens up the airways."
- #8
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My advisor would say:
"This is not thesis quality"
"It's ok, you have weekends and evenings, too"
"Anybody can list procedures and facts"
and then once I spend countless all-nighters on revisions:
"Perfect! Did you do the other things we discussed?"
"This is not thesis quality"
"It's ok, you have weekends and evenings, too"
"Anybody can list procedures and facts"
and then once I spend countless all-nighters on revisions:
"Perfect! Did you do the other things we discussed?"
- #9
chill_factor
- 898
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well... you're almost out... since its your thesis. think of it that way, and it doesn't seem so bad!
- #10
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Yeah, it's not a big deal; just enough to justify whining.
- #11
chill_factor
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Pythagorean said:
yeah, its the new grad students that need to whine. first other classes, then jackson, then some other classes, then research, then the thesis... damn makes me want to just go to sleep already.
- #12
Drakkith
Mentor
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Pythagorean said:
Of course. Advisers gain their tremendous powers from the tears of students.
- #13
DragonPetter
- 831
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Much better to have a strict thesis advisor with high expectations and well thought out goals than one who doesn't set any specific goals for you, expecting you to basically guide yourself with guesses down the road..
The example quotes you listed would only make a sensitive baby cry. However, any advisor trying to make you cry on purpose is unprofessional and a sick person.
The example quotes you listed would only make a sensitive baby cry. However, any advisor trying to make you cry on purpose is unprofessional and a sick person.
- #14
matt.o
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DragonPetter said:
Really? What happens when you need to come up with your own ideas or set your own goals?
- #15
Drakkith
Mentor
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matt.o said:
That's when you become the adviser.
- #16
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I actually do come up with (many of) my own ideas and set my own goals... and watch many of them get crushed/demolished/obliterated/maimed/annihilated/destroyed/etc. Of course, my adviser brings a lot of intellectual merit (not so much goal setting, leaves most of that to me) but she likes me to nurture, care for, and grow my own little flowers of delicate and expendable hypotheses so that she can crush/demolish/obliterate/maim/etc. them.
(I'm terribly over-dramatizing this)
(I'm terribly over-dramatizing this)
- #17
matt.o
- 389
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That's science for you!
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