Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

[Moonbear]

Since this thread will probably never die, I propose a points system whereby the "players" are rated according to how long the thread sat idle after they posted. So, for example, vikasj007 only gets 7 points because the thread was only idle for 7 minutes before dextercioby took it over...

Woo hoo! Great idea! I nominate Russ to tally up the points.

 

[Moonbear]

Yes, Dex has an advantage because he is in Europe (I think), so I can safely say that he should be disqualified, then we can disqualify anyone who is in Canada, then anyone on the east or west coast, then hmm I pretty much have won then

You go to sleep too early to win. You were off to bed by 10:30 on Saturday night...just give up now.

I like a point system, I know I have lots of points from my 18 hour thread stun (I guess that's what it was, just stunned it, didn't kill it), and I think I got in another 6 hour gap this weekend after mattmns went to sleep and before Dex woke up. But, of course that changes my whole strategy if points based on idle time count.

 

[Moonbear]

I think this point idea is pure bs... Who's counting...?And there's one more thing:you'd have to count from the very beginning,that is over 770 replies ago...

Daniel.

That's why I nominated Russ, since it was his good idea, and we know he's only posted a couple times, so he can't inflate his score without us noticing.

 

[mattmns]

Hey I did not go to sleep til 11 that night, I just left PF at 10:30, so pfff. But you are right, I do go to bed to early to win at a point system, unless I could somehow get you all dqed. So I guess I will agree with Dex, and say that whoever kills it is the man! Yes man! Moonbear is not going to kill this thing!

 

[dextercioby]

It would be a shame if MB killed this one too...Or Evo,or MIH,or Tsu,or Monique...Heck,us men are outnumbering them,so it better one of us killed it...

Daniel.

 

[BobG]

Other forums seem to have had problems killing threads. Maybe they could provide some input on how to find a solution.

http://forum.java.sun.com/thread.jspa?forumID=31&threadID=407016

The problem:

I would like to kill a Thread (reason: after a specific amount of time, some threads need to be killed...

One solution:

The best way to kill a thread is a knife wound through the heart.

Rebuttal problem:

okay, i guess i have to explain it in more detail: your suggestions doesn't work because threadToBeKiller does the following:

1. read data from URL
2. process data by doinf calculations and database access
3. write/archive data to file

this can take very long...

I think the problem can be isolated to either

a) the 'threadkillers' actually reading the posts - if you read the posts, you might make an interesting reply (plus you might empathize with the thread, making it harder to stab the thread very hard).

b) the 'threadkillers' process the data - I'm not sure how to 'doinf calculations' (is that anything like doinking calculations?), thinking about what you read definitely increases the chances you might make an interesting reply.

c) the 'threadkillers' can't resist the impulse to write the most interesting thoughts they think of in response to what they've read.

 

[Artman]

...b) the 'threadkillers' process the data - I'm not sure how to 'doinf calculations' (is that anything like doinking calculations?)...

I've doinked a few calculations. You've really been cracking me up lately BobG.

But even your witty banter can't save this thread. You've seen its death certificate. Its gone. Its mine. I have to continue plans for its funeral.

 

[Moonbear]

However, if you notice, Moonbear has not posted since Dex and I confirmed that she would not get the kill. But because I just said this, she now has something to enter back in on.

Oh, I was just busy rallying the sisters, now that you've thrown down the gauntlet and made this men vs women! You can thank Dex for giving me all new incentive to keep going here.

I'm just pacing myself. (Okay, it's a little known secret that I have a job that pays me and sometimes I have to do that instead of posting at PF).

 

[franznietzsche]

I'm just pacing myself. (Okay, it's a little known secret that I have a job that pays me and sometimes I have to do that instead of posting at PF).

You have a j-o-b?

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/6/12999256_F_tn.jpg

 

[Moonbear]

Yep, a j-o-b. Until I find some billionaire to marry, I have no choice if I want to pay the mortgage and put food in my belly (whether or not it gets put on a table at any point is somewhat optional). Not that I'd likely stop doing what I do even if I was independently wealthy, but it's not even an option to consider yet.

 

[Moonbear]

I've got something better than a job. TAX REFUND came today

LOL! You do realize they're just giving you your own money back, right? Damn, taxes, I have to get to work on those too.

(Pssst- good idea tribdog, if we start talking about jobs and taxes and other boring grown-up stuff, that really ought to chase the youngsters out of this thread. Maybe we should start talking about bunions and bad backs and hemorrhoids...I know those topics usually get me to leave the room when my irritating relatives start talking about them.)

 

[BobG]

I think killing this thread is just too big a job for one person. This is a job for a PAT (Process Action Team). By using sound principles of TQM (Total Quality Management), I'm absolutely sure we can kill this thread.

The first thing we need to do is hold a pre-PAT meeting to determine who the members of the PAT should be. Obviously, a few members are mandatory for any PAT, such as:

A facilitator

A ... well do really need a timekeeper on a forum PAT?

A ORM (Operational Risk Management) expert

An ISD (Instructional Systems Development) expert (any idea we come up with is bound to require training)

A secretary to record the minutes of the meeting

A secretary to keep track of acronyms (we need to develop lots of acronyms!)

Someone to develop lots of power point slides showing how we've improved the forum by killing off worthless threads

Someone handy at picture hanging so we can hang our slides of valuable metrics on the wall

A black hole (someone guaranteed to make paperwork disappear, just in case - group ideas are generally better than individual ideas, but stupidity is sometimes just as contagious)

I'll volunteer to be sergeant of arms. I'll belittle any who wander off on a tangent, wasting the valuable time of all the members of the PAT. Worse, you ever notice how, once the match is struck, how many members jump in and help the carry the meeting even further off track. You almost get the feeling a significant number of the folks attending a meeting are just waiting for a chance to escape the topic at hand. Particularly annoying are those that have spent half the meeting saying nothing while we were discussing business, and then suddenly come to life (albeit, with this strange fist shaped red spot in the middle of their forehead) and help the time thief steal our valuable time by carrying off our meeting on to some totally unrelated, worthless discussion of how funny it is to watch someone walking absent mindedly down the street, encounter a sheet of black ice, suddenly break out in a spontaneous bout of the Teaberry shuffle, and then continue walking on as if no one would notice. You'd think they'd at least look around to see if someone saw before they try to act nonchalant about it. There's a saying that "He who laughs at the misfortune of others understands the meaning of life", but where's the fun if the poor dancing fool doesn't even look over to notice you're laughing. People like that are invaluable, especially when waiting in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles. I remember this guy who had one sock garter that had come loose and was hanging out over the back of his pants. 87.68 percent of the customers were just dying trying not to laugh out loud and tip this guy off, because if he noticed and fixed his shirt and garter, we'd all die of boredom. After he'd finished his business and was walking out the door, some woman got up out of her seat and thanked him. He seemed more embarrassed than appreciative of her gratitude. Maybe she should have at least waited until he was out the door instead of thanking him for his garter in front of such a large crowd of 76.83 people. Personally, the important thing is that there were only 46.75 seats in the waiting room. On your feet, lose your seat! Ah, only 78.46 more minutes to go.

 

[Moonbear]

I say we just order beer and pizza while we complain loudly about having to attend the PAT meetings so nobody catches on we are actually enjoying ourselves.

 

[Chrono]

Where is Franz? Them midterms must be killer, he is usually here non stop, I almost miss his smart ass comments

No one's ever wondered about me yet.

 

[franznietzsche]

No one's ever wondered about me yet.

Thats because you don't have nearly as pervasive and perverse a presence here.

 

[Moonbear]

No one's ever wondered about me yet.

We all wonder about you.

Oh, you meant in the sense of worrying about you when you're not here.

 

[vikasj007]

i propose that whoever kills this thread should get a ribbon for that.

"thread killer champion" what say greg.

 

[vikasj007]

anyways i know that i can do that, but the only thing is that it will take time and by the time i do that everyone would have lost interest in this thread and then i won't get any ribbons.


sshhhh...

my secret plan is to wait till this thread is killed by someone. when nobody posts for a couple of days, i would sneak in and post without anybody noticing it.(i'll just a . )

 

[dextercioby]

That would be useless.The thread would end up atop the pile of threads and definiteley someone will notice...And will post a reply and the thread would no loger be dead.Besides,you posted 10 times tops,so you're justa guest.Get used to it...

Daniel.

 

[vikasj007]

now that everyone is sure that this thread is not going anywhere, why not start selecting those posts which really qualified to be the thread killers, but sadly could not do so.

maybe after seeing so many bad posts, people will stop coming to this thred.


its worth a try.

 

[mattmns]

I think it is all luck now. It is going to take something that is quite exceptional to kill this thread.

 

[Moonbear]

No, I think I really could kill this thread by using an unrelenting flood of random unreplyable stuff. It might take a couple weeks. But... I'd have to post every 5 minutes day and night to prevent other people from talking to each other, and it's not worth the effort.

Besides, we'd just sit back and laugh while you were busy talking to yourself, and then when you passed out from exhaustion, would reclaim the thread.

Dex has had this thread for a few hours now...that's long enough, I'll take it back.

 

[franznietzsche]

That is ME...you're referring to...

Daniel.

No, i think it will be me walking around naked in the thread again...

Like right now.

 

[Artman]

No, i think it will be me walking around naked in the thread again...

Like right now.

It's very scary having to come in with blinders on and feel around for the thread when you are dressed like that.

 

[dextercioby]

If you're naked in MY THREAD,i've got a suggestion:why don't i open the window...?It's -20°C outside and i think in the room it's way too warm (else you wouldn't be walking butt-naked).Perhaps the cool air would be good for your health...

Daniel.

 

[Moonbear]

*Turns on air-conditioning in thread to force franz to put some clothes back on*

 

[Moonbear]

But now my abstract has been submitted, so I have time to keep a closer eye on you again! (I'm not going to keep such a close eye on franz, just keep posting after him with my eyes closed...rhino rectums are one thing, but a naked franz is skeeeeerrrrryyyyy!)

 

[mattmns]

Geeze, I can not even go back to the gd main page without having to come back to this thread to post again.

 

[Evo]

I found some interesting statistics.

dextercioby has made 500 posts since 2-23-05, or 83.333 posts per day!

Moonbear is second - 500 posts since 2-11-05 or 27.777 posts per day

BobG has 500 posts since 11-20-04 (wimp)

Artman has 500 posts since 9-15-04 (mega wimp)

 

[mattmns]

Geeze Dex do you go to school or work, or anything? It looks like you post here all day

 

[Moonbear]

I found some interesting statistics.

dextercioby has made 500 posts since 2-23-05, or 83.333 posts per day!

Moonbear is second - 500 posts since 2-11-05 or 27.777 posts per day

BobG has 500 posts since 11-20-04 (wimp)

Artman has 500 posts since 9-15-04 (mega wimp)

I had no idea I was posting so much! Well, I'm sure this thread is seriously upping my post count. Guess that's why GD posts don't count otherwise. :shy:

 

[Evo]

Geeze Dex do you go to school or work, or anything? It looks like you post here all day

mattmns, another lightweight - only 500 posts since 11-30-04 (but 450 of those posts were in the last 4 days)

 

[Evo]

You counted all of them,including GD.That explains it...I'm not here all day,really.I eat,sleep and do all those other things NORMAL people do...

And yes,MB,those are a lotta posts...Slow down,you're eating bandwidth...

You too,Evo,Artman,Bob,Bart,Matt,Franz...et alumni...

Daniel.

What's important is that all of the GD posts are quality posts.

edit: now, now, that includes matt's posts

 

[Moonbear]

Then why,oh,why did u reveal the standings in the QUANTITY dept...?It's the QUALITY standings that's really interesting to know...

That's because she didn't want to embarrass the rest of you by showing that my 27.7777 posts per day are of only the finest quality. When I kill a thread, only pure silk will do.

 

[Moonbear]

Well, maybe the music is good, but the lyrics are not that good.

I already posted this elsewhere, but being the thread-killer thread, I guess it's legitimate to post it here too. This group has a funny song, "The Geeks Get the Girls" It's not great music, but the lyrics are hysterical! (Though, Bartholomew will probably disagree; we don't seem to share the same type of sense of humor.)
http://www.americanhi-fi.com/main.php

If you click on "listen" you can hear that song (along with some cheesy video, if you can call it video).

 

[Chrono]

We all wonder about you.

Oh, you meant in the sense of worrying about you when you're not here.

Yeah. I always wonder what the hell's wrong with me, too.

 

[Chrono]

LOL! Did you see, I dedicated a song for you?

Sweetness!

 

[Moonbear]

Okay, I think we need a new rule. You have to at least be coherent to count as a thread killer of the thread-killer thread!

*grabs thread and slips through the secret door behind the bookcase* Muwahahahaha! They'll never find me here.

 

[Artman]

I found some interesting statistics...Artman has 500 posts since 9-15-04 (mega wimp)

Good grief. I thought I had a life.

As for the rest of this thread lately...<searches desperately for the smilie with the ? over its head, Oh there it is!>

 

[Chrono]

I'm a zombie.

We know how to deal with you by using this guide.

 

[Moonbear]

Okay, Bartholomew and Dex, you've done a good job thread-sitting. Though, Bart, it's hardly an infant thread anymore. You can talk to it in real words, you don't have to make up babble. I'll just take it back now. I think we'll hit 1000 replies today! So, which wins the prize today, 1000th post or 1000th reply?

 

[Artman]

:zzz: Someone wake me at 998. :zzz:

 

[Moonbear]

It's no fair...I have meetings to attend and work to do! I need thread day care if I'm going to stay in the game. Well, it'll be worth the expense to keep all you guys from killing it.

 

[Moonbear]

I told you all you guys would run out of energy charging so quickly out of the gate. And franz has to take every weekend off just to catch his breath. I'm still going to outlast all of you!

 

[franznietzsche]

and yours for i don't know how many minutes.

I told you all you guys would run out of energy charging so quickly out of the gate. And franz has to take every weekend off just to catch his breath. I'm still going to outlast all of you!

I have never been quick out of the gate, nor have i ever been outlasted !

I object to you throwing me in with their lot.

 

[dextercioby]

I told you all you guys would run out of energy charging so quickly out of the gate. And franz has to take every weekend off just to catch his breath. I'm still going to outlast all of you!

You're overestimating your luck and that's not good.You're not alone in this thread & u never will...

Daniel.

 

[Moonbear]

Oh when the saints
Come marching in

Oh, great, now I've got that dumb children's song that my sister played over and over for my nephew while I was visiting for Christmas stuck back in my head again. "The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah."

That's going to be stuck there all day now. (and how did you manage to edit ants to saints while I was in the process of hitting quote?)

 

[Moonbear]

C'mon, keep up the pace here. I want a nice, meaty thread when I kill it. We need to get it up to at least 1000 posts, and we're really close now! Keep pushing it, give it a good work-out, make it build up those muscles!

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, okay, as long as you were just feeling sorry for him. The wimps have to stick together I suppose. Now get the lead out! Move it move it move it! We're almost up to 1000, keep posting!

 

[Moonbear]

Almost to 1000!