For two years now, I have been on PF. I spent many of those months checking PF - largely the academic and career guidance forums - just about every other day, and I learned a great deal about academia, and careers in science and engineering. A few months ago, when I posted in the Mathwonk's thread, he told me to "stop jumping around the fire and to try something", and rightly so. I didn't quite realize it then, but all I had been doing was accumulating information (data, anecdotes, opinions) - not keeping logs or anything, but I remember most things I read - about science education. From careers to textbooks used. And the worse part is I wasn't really doing anything myself. The primary issue is that I don't know what I like. I've tried learning some pure math, and while I could do it, it wasn't really my cup of tea. I do find math interesting, and I would indeed like to know what happens "under the hood", if you will, but I didn't really *enjoy* doing the work. I have a very short attention span, and I tend to work in short bursts, and on rare occasions, for hours in one go. Often, it's the thrill that comes with working so close to the deadlines that gets me going. I hate that everything could fall apart at any instant, but it makes me feel somewhat "more alive", and I keep at it. I'm completely burnt out in the end, and I need to crash for a day or two, but on some levels, I enjoy it. I say this because I feel that while I am generally curious about just about everything I see or hear of, the main reasons I seem to be at all interested in math and science is because I get kicks, not so much out of the subject itself, but more so out of the challenging work. But that can be a serious problem. Science takes a lot of hard and consistent work, and with my spontaneous way of working, I can't see how I'd ever make it work, in any career, let alone science! Even then, I don't know if I do *love* science. I like the way physics is done. I can't quite explain it, but it's not the same as chemistry or biology. I am also interested in how the human body works, and every now and then, I contemplate biomedical research or something along the lines of that, but I can't imagine not doing something that requires math. Math as in math methods, not pure math. Further, I really wasn't kidding when I said I found most things interesting. I find the way milk mixes with tea fascinating. The research questions that the people at say, Cornell's Theoretical and Applied Mechanics group look really cool! So does the computational biology/neuroscience research at NYU. (Nava Rubin's, more specifically) Probability is another thing I really like. But it doesn't stop here. While I can learn most things with relative ease, the only thing I consider myself good at, is writing fiction. Not good in absolute terms, but rather having what it takes (in part due to that being the only thing I did on a semi-regular basis over the past few years) to be good/great. I am also very curious about history, philosophy (ethics, metaphysics), and literature in general. I also think that I'm afraid. Genuinely afraid of giving my all, and then failing. At least, I seem to be so on a subconscious level or something. Paradoxically, I think that it is better to attempt to do something grand (for e.g, trying to write the next great novel and getting it published, or trying to figure out a creative way to make use of science PhDs outside of academia), irrespective of the potential outcome. I took a gap year to try and figure things out, and while I am in a much better place emotionally, I still have near-zero direction with what I would want to do in college. I do like academia, but I don't know how to make it work. I thought perhaps applied math/statistics with a second major (or just lots of courses) in philosophy or one of those "interdisciplinary approach to XYZ cultures" majors would be a logical choice. That said, I don't know if that's what I want. I apologize for the lengthy post, but I figured more would be better than just "Hey, I dunno if I wanna do science. Help plz. Ok, thanks, bye."