Uncomfortable when it seems people are staring at you?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the discomfort and psychological effects of feeling stared at by others in various social situations. Participants share personal anecdotes and explore the reasons behind these feelings, touching on themes of perception, social interaction, and instinctive reactions.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants describe personal experiences of feeling uncomfortable when they believe others are staring at them, often leading to a heightened sense of awareness or anxiety.
  • One participant suggests that the feeling of being stared at may stem from an unconscious detection of others' focus, questioning the mechanisms behind this sensation.
  • Another participant recounts a specific incident in a lecture hall where they felt intensely stared at, emphasizing the creepiness of such encounters.
  • A humorous observation is made about a library rule against staring at librarians, leading to a discussion on the universal discomfort associated with being stared at.
  • Some participants express indifference to being stared at, suggesting that it does not bother them unless it is perceived as intentional rudeness.
  • There is mention of a study indicating that when individuals feel someone is staring at them, it is often the case that someone actually is.
  • One participant shares a particularly unsettling experience at an airport involving a woman who appeared to be staring and talking to them simultaneously, highlighting the confusion and discomfort that can arise from such situations.
  • Another participant humorously misinterprets a phrase about "flashing IQ," leading to a light-hearted exchange about the nature of social interactions.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

The discussion features a mix of agreement and disagreement among participants regarding the nature of discomfort when being stared at. While some share similar feelings of unease, others express a lack of concern, indicating that multiple competing views remain on this topic.

Contextual Notes

Participants' experiences vary widely, with some emphasizing instinctual reactions while others focus on social dynamics. The discussion does not resolve the underlying psychological mechanisms or social implications of being stared at.

wolram
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Do you feel uncomfortable when it seems people are staring at you?
When talking to a mate outside the factory, on a coffe break, i had
this spine tingling feeling, i had to turn around and look for what was
behind me, there were three people staring in my direction, it turned
out they were not staring at me but some thing beyond me, whatever,
i still had the (there is some thing behind me feeling).
 
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I'm thinking maybe they actually were staring at you until they saw you turn around. Or maybe just one of them was. How far away were they? Within earshot? Perhaps while focused on your own conversation, you unconsciously detected theirs. Just guessing. The sudden awareness of someone being behind you is a very real phenomenom, but I don't know what the mechanism is. It's an interesting topic.
 
I hate it when people stare it's creepy! In a big lecture hall one time I had this weird feeling and turned around and this person was blatantly staring at me...creepy. Another time in the cafeteria, I was sitting at a table having my lunch when this weird girl comes down and sits right across from me at my table (which was weird enough because there were tons of empty tables around) and then just proceeds to stare at me...no hi...no hows it going...just I am going to creep you out by staring at you while sitting about 2 feet away from you. After about 2 minutes I just left...to weird.
 
wolram said:
Do you feel uncomfortable when it seems people are staring at you?
When talking to a mate outside the factory, on a coffe break, i had
this spine tingling feeling, i had to turn around and look for what was
behind me, there were three people staring in my direction, it turned
out they were not staring at me but some thing beyond me, whatever,
i still had the (there is some thing behind me feeling).

How did you know they were staring at you? Were they directly behind you?

I wonder how easily people can tell that they are stared upon when someone is side one to them and relatively far away about 10-20 meters.
 
I just thought of something. At the local public library there's a big sign by the librarian's desk listing the library rules. One of the rules is

"Do not stare at the librarian."

I don't know why, but that has always struck me as funny. Why would there need to be such a rule? I suspect that librarians endure more grief than we give them credit for.

Anyway, it demonstrates that being stared at is a universally, perhaps instinctively unpleasant - no, unnerving experience. Maybe we feel we're being sized up as prey?
 
I must be completely missing that then? I really don't give a poo whichever way you look or how long you look if you're talking to me or I'm talking to you. Unless you're just trying to be a jerk by ignoring me or, looking like it on purpose. Otherwise I don't care.
 
I think the idea is being stared at by strangers who are otherwise being uncommunicative.
 
Type 7 said:
"Do not stare at the librarian." ...
Why would there need to be such a rule?

because this is the librarian:

EE130C.350X200.G.jpg


now stop staring. :biggrin:
 
Math Is Hard said:
because this is the librarian:

EE130C.350X200.G.jpg


now stop staring. :biggrin:

She is not my type :smile: She can not even wear the right sized shoes.
 
  • #10
wolram said:
She is not my type :smile: She can not even wear the right sized shoes.
You're right, Woolie! Just kick her my way. I'll have those shoes off her in a trice!:smile:
 
  • #11
ILEW said:
How did you know they were staring at you? Were they directly behind you?

I wonder how easily people can tell that they are stared upon when someone is side one to them and relatively far away about 10-20 meters.

They were no more than 4 Mtrs away and directly behind me.
 
  • #12
turbo-1 said:
You're right, Woolie! Just kick her my way. I'll have those shoes off her in a trice!:smile:


Look close Turbo, i am sure that scarf is hiding an adams aple
 
  • #13
wolram said:
Look close Turbo, i am sure that scarf is hiding an adams aple
That's not Anne Coulter. She's probably real.
 
  • #14
Back in my student days I recall one evening sitting in the local coffee shop working on a homework assignment, for me this involved some staring into space while contemplating the possible paths to a solution. Suddenly from across the room some, unnoticed to me, fellow suddenly flashed me his IQ. Then proceeded across the crowded room to hostilely ask why I was staring at him. I could only shake my head and stammer out an apology as I was suddenly jerked back into the real world.

I guess someone staring across the room into what I thought was empty space was threating to this fellow.
 
  • #15
Integral said:
Back in my student days I recall one evening sitting in the local coffee shop working on a homework assignment, for me this involved some staring into space while contemplating the possible paths to a solution. Suddenly from across the room some, unnoticed to me, fellow suddenly flashed me his IQ. Then proceeded across the crowded room to hostilely ask why I was staring at him. I could only shake my head and stammer out an apology as I was suddenly jerked back into the real world.

I guess someone staring across the room into what I thought was empty space was threating to this fellow.


It is not so much the effect that some one is staring at you creates,
that i was trying to point out, more the (knowing that someone unseen is staring at you) ,that tingle/ shudder up the spine.
 
  • #16
I think the "creepy feeling" is due to sound, or in some cases, an abrupt absence of such.
 
  • #17
A study was done over here and in most cases when you having a feeling someone is staring at you, someone is. So a person was probably watching you whether or not it was the people you think were
 
  • #18
hello

When someone staring at me, i just ignored it.:biggrin:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #19
Math Is Hard said:
because this is the librarian:

EE130C.350X200.G.jpg


now stop staring. :biggrin:

Since when do you work in a library?:biggrin:
 
  • #20
I had an even creepier experience at an airport when a woman was staring at me AND talking at me. Right at me. She has one of those ear-piece cell phones with no visible mouth-piece and was deep in dicusssion with a business matter. What made it even worse was that she was hunkered down in the chair opposite me, and kind of stooped forward as though she was trying to talk to me personally. She was mentally in another place though. When I figured out what was going on, I wanted to yell as loud as I could:

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I WILL NOT KILL FOR YOU!"
 
  • #21
Chi Meson said:
I had an even creepier experience at an airport when a woman was staring at me AND talking at me. Right at me. She has one of those ear-piece cell phones with no visible mouth-piece and was deep in dicusssion with a business matter. What made it even worse was that she was hunkered down in the chair opposite me, and kind of stooped forward as though she was trying to talk to me personally. She was mentally in another place though. When I figured out what was going on, I wanted to yell as loud as I could:

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I WILL NOT KILL FOR YOU!"

Haha the first time I saw one of those earpiece phones I was at the grocery store and the guy using it was in the next checkout line over. I thought he was having quite the animated conversation with himself until he turned to the side and I saw that thing in his ear.
 
  • #22
Integral said:
Suddenly from across the room some, unnoticed to me, fellow suddenly flashed me his IQ. Then proceeded across the crowded room to hostilely ask why I was staring at him.

Integral,

What do you mean, flashed his IQ ?!? Unless this is some sort of identification that you have at your school or something??

When I first read that, I thought maybe he wrote his intelligence quotient on a piece of paper and held it up to you. :biggrin:

But that seemed even weirder than some random staring at you :-p
 
  • #23
Conclusion, the whole world will be talking to themselves on cellphones.
 
  • #24
JasonRox said:
Conclusion, the whole world will be talking to themselves on cellphones.

I have to admit I came to a slightly different conclusion.

Finally, finally, I'll be able to walk about in public without people thinking I'm some kind of freak just because I talk to myself! Now they'll just think me strange for waving my hands so much when I talk.
 
  • #25
renigade666 said:
Integral,

What do you mean, flashed his IQ ?!? Unless this is some sort of identification that you have at your school or something??

Hint: his IQ is 1

In Britain it might be 2.
 
  • #26
Chi Meson said:
Hint: his IQ is 1

In Britain it might be 2.


Yep it was one, and for some reason he used his middle finger.
 
  • #27
BobG said:
I have to admit I came to a slightly different conclusion.

Finally, finally, I'll be able to walk about in public without people thinking I'm some kind of freak just because I talk to myself! Now they'll just think me strange for waving my hands so much when I talk.

I still have a hard enough time noticing someone is on the phone if there isn't a cord dangling between them and the desk or wall. Those earphone things leave me very amused thinking people are talking to themselves all over the place.

Integral said:
Yep it was one, and for some reason he used his middle finger.
:smile: I never heard that expression before. :smile:
 
  • #28
Moonbear said:
:smile: I never heard that expression before. :smile:
Back in HS in the '60s, that hand-signal would prompt "Is that your age, your IQ, or the number of friends you had before your dog died?" Maybe it's a regional thing... :rolleyes:
 
  • #29
A few years ago the "skeptic" in Scientific American wrote an article which basically said proved that people can't feel that others are staring at them (simple experiment) and the the cause of the phenomenon is that when someone quickly turns around other people looking vaguely in their direction look at them and the person that turned around thinks that he was being stared at.
 
  • #30
The question is if someone was staring at you, would you stare back?

I suppose you wouldn't if they were a stranger? But you would if you knew who they were?
 

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