What is it like to witness death for the first time?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around personal experiences and emotional responses to witnessing death, whether through the passing of loved ones, traumatic accidents, or violent incidents. Participants share their reflections on the nature of death and the impact it has on them, exploring both the emotional weight of being present during a loved one's death and the stark reality of witnessing sudden or violent deaths.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Debate/contested

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants express that witnessing the death of a loved one is profoundly different from witnessing a violent death or accident, emphasizing the emotional connection involved.
  • One participant recounts the experience of being present during the death of their pets, noting the emotional toll it took on them and their partner.
  • Several participants describe witnessing violent incidents, such as murders, and reflect on the lack of emotional impact compared to the death of someone they knew.
  • A participant shares their experience of observing autopsies, noting that unnatural deaths are harder to cope with than natural ones, and that personal connection to the deceased influences emotional responses.
  • There are discussions around the perceived inadequacy of self-defense measures in the face of random violence, with some participants challenging the effectiveness of carrying firearms for protection.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally agree on the emotional complexity surrounding death, but multiple competing views remain regarding the impact of different types of death and the effectiveness of self-defense measures. The discussion remains unresolved on these points.

Contextual Notes

Participants express varying degrees of emotional response based on their relationships with the deceased, the circumstances of death, and their personal experiences. There is mention of PTSD related to witnessing traumatic deaths, highlighting the psychological impact of such experiences.

Who May Find This Useful

This discussion may be of interest to individuals exploring the emotional aspects of death and dying, those who have experienced loss, or anyone interested in the psychological effects of witnessing death in various contexts.

Loren Booda
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I have never actually seen somebody die in person. When I said my goodbyes to my parents, each had a few hours left. I felt that I could not endure the stress of seeing them actually pass.

At their time, my father seemed to want to be alone - proud to die in a Navy nursing facility. My mother seemed to acknowledge my many visits with her, that now she was there for me. (Neither parent could speak then).

My father's funeral at Arlington National Cemetery made me so proud of him and appreciate the respect of those present. My mother's was rather perfunctory, kind of like an inside Navy joke.

What is said may be true - nothing can prepare one for death.

Et tu?
 
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I've never witness someone die but have seen many loved ones before and after. Death is something that is completely natural but seems so completely unnatural when it actually happens to those we love.
 
I witnessed a terrible, violent accident a few years ago...really close-up, like I had a front-row seat. A 14-year-old boy died in that accident. Granted, it's not the same as sitting bedside as someone passes. But it sure was traumatic, as you can imagine.

I did sit next to my Chocolate Lab, Bonnie, as she died. Took well over an hour, I didn't leave her side for a second. I was surprised how long her heart beat after her breathing stopped. Sure it's not the same as watching a relative die, but anyone who has ever had a dog will understand.
 
I witnessed a murder, I was actually standing next to the guy as he was dying. He was laying on the sidewalk. Someone shot him with a shotgun from a car driving by in the street. I saw the whole thing. But that does not have the same emotional impact as being with a loved one that is dying. I didn't know this guy.

Yeah, you gun advocates tell me how a guy walking on a sidewalk is supposed to protect himself from some nut that shoots randomly. Carrying a gun is not going to protect you from a shooter. Puhlease. You'd be dead before you knew what hit you.
 
Evo said:
I witnessed a murder, I was actually standing next to the guy as he was dying. He was laying on the sidewalk. Someone shot him with a shotgun from a car driving by in the street. I saw the whole thing. But that does not have the same emotional impact as being with a loved one that is dying. I didn't know this guy.

Yeah, you gun advocates tell me how a guy walking on a sidewalk is supposed to protect himself from some nut that shoots randomly. Carrying a gun is not going to protect you from a shooter. Puhlease. You'd be dead before you knew what hit you.

Expecting your gun to provide protection against that kind of violence is like expecting your gun to protect you from lightning. Sort of silly, really.
 
Evo said:
I witnessed a murder, I was actually standing next to the guy as he was dying. He was laying on the sidewalk. Someone shot him with a shotgun from a car driving by in the street. I saw the whole thing. But that does not have the same emotional impact as being with a loved one that is dying. I didn't know this guy.

Yeah, you gun advocates tell me how a guy walking on a sidewalk is supposed to protect himself from some nut that shoots randomly. Carrying a gun is not going to protect you from a shooter. Puhlease. You'd be dead before you knew what hit you.

Carrying gun doesn't make you bullet-proof. No question about that.
 
if someone is determined to get you, it's a little hard to defend against no matter what method they choose.

but plenty of people do get advance warning and are able to defend themselves.
 
Tsu and I have put down something like 10 animals - all pets that we loved. We never leave their side until we are sure they're gone. There was a period of a few years where all of our pets were old and had to go, one by one. We put down six during that period of time. Even the people at the Vet wanted to cry when they saw us coming. Honestly, it took a real toll on both of us.

I've seen plenty of dead people and a number of bad auto accidents, but I don't know if anyone died in those accidents. The worst accident that I ever saw in Los Angeles had bodies spread out all over the 101 fwy on the approach to the valley pass. But again, I think they were all dead already.
 
Evo said:
I witnessed a murder, I was actually standing next to the guy as he was dying. He was laying on the sidewalk. Someone shot him with a shotgun from a car driving by in the street. I saw the whole thing. But that does not have the same emotional impact as being with a loved one that is dying. I didn't know this guy.

Yeah, you gun advocates tell me how a guy walking on a sidewalk is supposed to protect himself from some nut that shoots randomly. Carrying a gun is not going to protect you from a shooter. Puhlease. You'd be dead before you knew what hit you.

If he thought there was a good chance someone was going to return fire, he would likely not even think about a random shooting like that. A random shooting like that is the act of a coward, and cowards like unarmed victims.
 
  • #10
Watched 11 autopsies in the past few years as part of an elective programme in university. I was coping fine for the first 7 but got PTSD after the 8th. She felt from height accidentally and her tragic death triggered some of my deap-seated emotions, together with other stressors during that period, I just couldn't cope. :cry: Luckily I think I'm 99% recovered by now.

I can still recall the causes of death of the 11 autopsies and some of the fine details. Facing natural deaths (eg diseases) is much easier to cope than unnatural/accidental deaths.

And I think as long as one doesn't relate to the deceased person, there won't be any long term consequences.
 

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