<tl;dr> I'm 27 and miserable. I want to make a positive change, but the options that I have offer little positive and much negative. What do I do? Important Details: I am employed full-time and I have ~$13,000USD in savings, but I am deep in debt with absolutely terrible credit and my wages are being garnished. I have a bad relationship with my parents and siblings. Also, I'm very lonely as I do not have any friends. Options that I have: 1. Stay at home with parents, pay for education, hope for a better future. 2. Leave home, lose ability to pay for education, entire salary goes toward bills and food. 3. Buy car (current car is 14yrs old and falling apart), lose ability to leave home, lose ability to pay for education. </tl;dr> Ok, so lets start with my family, because I believe they are the root of the problem. If you disagree, please let me know. My father. A very selfish(narcissistic?), uneducated man who thinks he knows everything. He is very manipulating and controlling, especially with money. He wants to control how everyone else handles their finances, but will not accept advice on how to manage his own. Here is an example. When I scored my first job at 15, I refused to tell him how much money I was making. He became very angry and told me, and these are his exact words, "You're going to need me a hell of a lot sooner than I'll ever need you, remember that." I still don't why he was compelled to say such a thing, and why he was so pissed off. I mean, I was never concerned with his salary, and he would have never told me anyway. He was/is a part time parent and husband. He was never around during the week. There was a stretch when he was only home for about 45 minutes a day (on weekends maybe a couple hours). He would arrive home from where ever he was at 5am, then leave out for work at 5:45am. Sometimes he would come home at around 2 or 3pm to check the mail, other times he would just call and ask us to check. When he called he would never ask how we were doing or anything. He would just say "did i get any mail". He also used to yell at us alot when we were younger. So, when he did come home for whatever reason, we all just ran and hid somewhere or tried to appear busy so he would go away. I can go on all day about this man (and I will, if anyone is interested), but I want to share what I feel is an important story. My father likes to believe he is a great man. He makes very big promises, and never delivers on said promises. Just being able to make a (big) promise makes him feel great, even if he has no intentions on delivering. I think this is because he worked with or for highly educated persons who would tell him stories of their greatness, and he tried to mimic their behavior and actions. I have two sisters, and a half sister. My father would gloat repeatedly how he is such a great dad and is providing such a great life for the four of us. He would repeat these things so often, that I believed that we were actually middle class or above. In reality we were actually kind of poor. Twice, I was disciplined at elementary school because I made fun of other children for being poor, and boasted how superior my family was based on what my father told me. This continued into into junior high, and high school, and eventually ended up with me getting my whole world destroyed. When I was a freshman in high school, I was presented with a question by my counselor. She asked me if I were interested in going to college, and if so, which one. I had my school all picked out, and I followed all of the schools guidelines and prerequisites to gain acceptance. There was only one problem. My father made a promise to me along the lines of "You take care of the grades, and I'll handle the rest." Well I took care of the grades, and I was accepted by the school in January of my senior year. I told any and everyone who would listen. Up until high school graduation, I made sure everyone in the school knew. There was still that problem of my fathers promise of assistance. June went by, and so did July. August arrived, and so did the deadline to confirm your seat for the program. No word from my father. This particular day, he decided to stay at home. He sat upstairs in his bedroom, silently watching television. I asked my mom what the deal was, because today was the deadline. She said that I needed to go speak with him, so I did. The conversation went like this. Son: So, um, dad, today is the deadline, am I going to make it? Dad: (staring at television) I don't have the money. Son: (confused) What do you mean? Dad: (staring at television) I mean I don't have the money. I can't afford it. Son: But, you said, aim for the stars, and you know, I'm the space shuttle, you're the rocket boosters...I can't get there without your help. Dad: (silence) Son: I'm sorry dad, maybe I...I aimed too high. Dad: (silence) And that was the end of it. Or so I thought. My ex girlfriend called me to wish me luck on my journey, only to find out I wasn't going. That was the first time I had to tell anyone the bad news. It hurt so much, I couldn't do it again. I was afraid to go outside for fear of my neighbors asking about me leaving. I was afraid to work(retail jobs, burger joints, etc), for fear that someone I went to school with would wander in and ask me what am I doing there. I stopped speaking to my best friend out of embarrassment. I eventually found a job in December of that year, and for the 3 years that I worked there, I refused to become friends with any of the coworkers. I never shared any information about my life. I continued to hide from everyone I knew in the community. This has been going on since I was 17, I'm 27 now. Still hiding, still embarrassed. I want it to end. There's more to this story, but I have been preparing this post for about 2hrs now, and I feel I need to skip ahead and fill in the blanks later when/if people ask questions. Now, my mother. My mother is sort of ok. I am not happy with her being weak, gullible, and uneducated, but that is not my main issue. My problem with her is that she knew everything about my father that I needed to know so that I could make a better decision. Yet, she said nothing. Not to me, or him. She did not stand up to my father about his false hope and empty promises. She did not come clean to me about these things either. Not until 2007. Sometime in 2007 she told me that my dad had no intention of following through on that promise he made, because he did not believe I would follow through on my end. She waited 7 years, to tell me that my father did not believe in me. All of that time of me feeling like I was dead to the world...it could have been avoided. All she had to do was pull me to the side and give it to me straight with something like, "Look, do not trust that man, I know he's your father, and he said this and that, but judging by evidence x, y, and z, and the fact that he actually said he believes you won't make it, you need to find another avenue for success." But she didn't. Also, she suffered a stroke in 2008. While in rehab, concerning her nearing release date, I told her not to return home. Things became much worse while she was gone and she would not be happy at all if she came back. Yet, she did. Now all she does is complain. My sisters. My sisters are ok as well, but suffer from the same problem as my mother. They are afraid to stand up to my father and keep allowing him to guide their lives straight into the toilet. I can speak to them about things, but I often find myself angered by the fact that most of their decisions are based on bad information given by my father. For example, two of them are home owners now because my dad convinced them to do it. They did not even want houses, they were happy living in their apartments, and it was affordable. Now, both are cash strapped, one is six or seven months behind on the mortgage and had to seek assistance with a debt management company. My father even laughs about her to his friends, saying she doesn't have her priorities straight and ignores his advice. The one who isn't behind on her mortgage, I remember when my dad forced her into buying a new car. She couldn't even afford it, I had to help her pay for it. Same problem with my half sister, she was forced into buying a new car also, because my dad went up to the dealership and made a deal, and told those people she would come sign the papers. She explained she did not like the deal, and could not afford it, but my dad put on his superman-i-can-do-anything cape and said he would cover the difference. He never did. Now she is cash strapped as well, and also a home owner who didn't want a house. Also, my dad promised the three of them he would help pay for college, and did not. For my half sister, he flat out refused to sign any loan papers or share information on what he earned in a year. For my other two sisters, one was THROWN OUT of her school dormitory because she was under the impression that he actually paid the bill, and did not. My other sister was told at the very last minute that he wasn't going to pay anything, after she made very detailed plans of living with her best friend in the dormitory. She fortunately had flexible scholarships and was able to go to different school and graduate without his help. So, basically, this is what I am dealing with on a daily basis. I cannot stand even the sight of my father(feel free to ask me what other things he has done, the guy is a complete jerk). I can barely manage a conversion with mother because she is so weak. My sisters are only tolerable when they are on the phone and we are discussing something that my father has not put his dirty hands on yet(which isn't much). So, that goes back to the three decisions. 1. Stay home, and fight insanity off for at least another 2 or 3 years while I try to finish an associates degree. Everyday is extreme challenge as I try my best to stay in my attic bedroom as long as possible and avoid my mom and dad at all costs. Sometimes when my father is around, I simply cannot function. I cannot even slice a piece of meat. I am overcome with anger and disappointment, and have to leave the area to go take deep breaths. I also cannot just up and leave when he pops in and I get angry. This is because I have to park in the driveway due to thieves stealing parts off my car at night. My father blocks me in the driveway and I cannot even speak to the man to ask him to move it. When I do ask him to move it, I just yell down into the basement for him to let me out, and then I hurry into my car before he comes up the stairs. 2. Leave home and live in an apartment and completely wash my hands of them and all the bad memories I've endured there. Bad part is the cheapest apartment that I can find that isn't in a high crime area will consume every penny that I earn. Also, because I have bad credit, I will have to pay the entire 12 month lease up front because I don't have a cosigner. That would mean I cannot go back to college, or buy a newer used car. I don't know how long I can keep that up, I would have a food allowance of maybe 100.00 per month. What if my car dies? 3. Buy a newer used car. The ideal car that I have found, is $11,500, assuming someone hasn't purchased it already. I can buy a cheaper used, but I do not want to side grade from a pile of scrap, to a pile of scrap with lower mileage. Buying a car means I cannot leave home because I will not be able to cover the rental costs up front (see #2). Also, cannot pay for college. So, there you go. Sorry if things are patchy, it took me 3hrs to post this. If you are unclear about anything, please ask me about it. If you would like to offer advice, if it helps you at all, I would like to make a friend more than anything else. Please ask me questions, because I have been drawing up (failed) plans for 10 years, and I think I have possibly considered everything...even suicide(don't worry, I can't do it).