I like to skate around abovetopsecret.com without actually falling in. ;) One of my favorite chunks of weirdness in that soup of insanity is the idea that the Moon is actually a spaceship. Some say it was put here to help create conditions conducive to life, to stir the primordial soup and all that. My thought would be to have a "dwarf planet" (ducks stones from Pluto fans) with a control system built on it brought into Earth orbit for this mission. Each time humans get close to finding the control room or other signs of intelligent life other than our own, they are abducted and simulacra are created and sent back in their place. Our Hero would be one of those captured and would be tasked with breaking himself and Fair Damsel out of their confinement to alert the humans of this situation.