When Do You Know It's Time to Give Up?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lisa!
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Time
Click For Summary

Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the challenges of pursuing personal goals and the introspection that arises when one struggles to achieve them. Participants explore themes of motivation, self-reflection, and the alignment of interests with personal capabilities, particularly in the context of academic and career choices in science and engineering.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants express frustration about persistent efforts towards goals that seem unattainable, questioning whether the problem lies with the goal itself or the methods employed to achieve it.
  • There is a suggestion that interests may change over time, and that individuals should not be too hard on themselves for shifting priorities.
  • One participant emphasizes the importance of attempting to reach goals, even if success seems unlikely, valuing the effort over the outcome.
  • Another viewpoint suggests that the pursuit of goals should consider long-term perspectives, as meaningful achievements often take years to materialize.
  • Concerns are raised about the motivations behind personal relationships, particularly whether admiration for intelligence is a sufficient basis for connection.
  • Some participants reflect on the nature of regret and the impact of choices on life quality, advocating for perseverance despite challenges.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants express a range of views on the nature of goal-setting and personal fulfillment, with no clear consensus on whether to reassess goals or methods. The discussion remains unresolved regarding the best approach to take when faced with repeated failures in achieving desired outcomes.

Contextual Notes

Participants acknowledge the complexity of aligning personal interests with academic and career paths, highlighting the potential for misalignment between one's goals and their inherent capabilities or true interests.

Lisa!
Gold Member
Messages
672
Reaction score
96
Has it ever happened to you that you want something so badly but as much as you try you can't get it? I sometimes get annoyed by myself when I see that I almost never lose my interest in some paricular things, goals, and therefore I never give up...It sounds like you are just making a mistake over and over again and you don't learn any lesson form your mistakes. I mean when you can't get what you want after several attempts, maybe there's a problem with your goal. Maybe your interest in that partcular thing has no realistic and logical base and it doesn't really suit your talents, capablities and your true interests, so although you think you have done your best but the fact is that you've not tried as much as needed.
You know sometimes I think I have no real interest in science and engineering. I've been interested in intelligent people whole my life and though of them as the coolest people in the world. And heaven knows that most of intelligent person are into mathematics and physics! And perhaps that's why I decided to study math and physics related subject. And perhaps that's why I'm not so successful academicly. I sometimes think that I could have been a very successful and useful person if I had chosen to study social sciences and stuff like that.
I sometimes even think that my friend couldn't be the right person for me. Perhaps I'm just continue my relationship with him because he seems to be an intelligent person.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
I think I heard cyrus is free
 
I think we have discussed motivation = desire * feasibility earlier. So if feasibility approaches zero, it may indeed be time to reconsider.

So if you're interested in intelligent people, most exact scientists don't seem to share that priority. There must be specialities within psychology, sociology or even history and philosophy to study all about the why and the how and the evolvement of people in science.

Wasn't Marlon free too?
 
I think Evo is free too
 
rewebster said:
I think Evo is free too
Evo is not "free" - she likes to travel and stuff - high maintenance.
 
Lisa! said:
You know sometimes I think I have no real interest in science and engineering.

I think one of the hardest things in the world is to know your interests and to figure out what sort of studies or job would be fulfilling. I suspect that at some point in your life you've certainly felt a sincere interest in science and engineering - but people's priorities and interests change. So don't be so hard on yourself.

Lisa! said:
I've been interested in intelligent people whole my life and though of them as the coolest people in the world. And heaven knows that most of intelligent person are into mathematics and physics! And perhaps that's why I decided to study math and physics related subject. And perhaps that's why I'm not so successful academicly. I sometimes think that I could have been a very successful and useful person if I had chosen to study social sciences and stuff like that.
I sometimes even think that my friend couldn't be the right person for me. Perhaps I'm just continue my relationship with him because he seems to be an intelligent person.

The company of people in physics are a big part of why I enjoy physics too. And sometimes it's easy to get discouraged because in science and engineering there are always going to lots of people who are extremely bright. It's good to remember that there is a lot more to success in life than being a star student.

I'm not sure it's ever a good idea to like someone because they *seem* to be intelligent. But I bet there are lots of other reasons you like your friend. Is he handsome? Charming? A good cook? (If he's not a good cook you should definitely dump him).
 
Last edited:
Lisa! said:
Has it ever happened to you that you want something so badly but as much as you try you can't get it?

What do you need? How badly do you need it? What would you do to get what you need? How many 'red flags' do you see now?

I talk to a few women around where I live about their problems. I thing that I've found is that they often 'see' what the 'problems' are, but don't make changes in their lives or thinking to change what the problems seem to be. Another thing that these women (and some people, in general) do is that they sometimes ask a question, then ask the same question again, (and again, and again)--

What I try to do with them is get them to answer the question themselves--even if the first answer may be wrong---then, answer the question with another possible answer (I keep going until they REALLY start thinking about it in different ways).

So, "Has it ever happened to you that you want something so badly but as much as you try you can't get it?"-----go ahead and give several answers to your own question.
 
turbo-1 said:
Evo is not "free" - she likes to travel and stuff - high maintenance.

that's funny--


-in another thread, she said that all she wanted all her whole life was just a chicken and a fruit tree <scratches head while having a puzzled look on my face>
 
Lisa! said:
Has it ever happened to you that you want something so badly but as much as you try you can't get it? I sometimes get annoyed by myself when I see that I almost never lose my interest in some particular things, goals, and therefore I never give up...It sounds like you are just making a mistake over and over again and you don't learn any lesson form your mistakes. I mean when you can't get what you want after several attempts, maybe there's a problem with your goal.

Really? I interpret it as meaning there's a problem with my method, not my goal. Try to reach your goals a different way.

Secondly, I'd much rather spend my life attempting to reach goals I will never be able to than just giving up. At least I can say I tried.
 
  • #10
honestrosewater hasn't been around for a while, I wonder if she went to college?

Has it ever happened to you that you want something so badly but as much as you try you can't get it?
Maybe you're thinking a bit short term for your goal. Some of the best things happen over a long period of time, of years or decades. You have a whole life ahead of you, as long as you don't get hit by a bus tomorrow.
 
  • #11
I would never stop trying to reach my goals. I don't want that kind of regret to haunt me into my later years. Time passes so very quickly, I believe choices make a big difference in our quality of life.

In my mind these choices, I often call doors. Doors open and close often by happenstance, but mostly by choice. Sometimes doors close because other doors need to open.



Remember, its all about the quality of life you choose to live, what you will become, and how you choose to affect those around you.

We're also allowed to make mistakes.:redface:
 
  • #12
Lisa! said:
Has it ever happened to you that you want something so badly but as much as you try you can't get it? I sometimes get annoyed by myself when I see that I almost never lose my interest in some paricular things, goals, and therefore I never give up...It sounds like you are just making a mistake over and over again and you don't learn any lesson form your mistakes. I mean when you can't get what you want after several attempts, maybe there's a problem with your goal. Maybe your interest in that partcular thing has no realistic and logical base and it doesn't really suit your talents, capablities and your true interests, so although you think you have done your best but the fact is that you've not tried as much as needed.
You know sometimes I think I have no real interest in science and engineering. I've been interested in intelligent people whole my life and though of them as the coolest people in the world. And heaven knows that most of intelligent person are into mathematics and physics! And perhaps that's why I decided to study math and physics related subject. And perhaps that's why I'm not so successful academicly. I sometimes think that I could have been a very successful and useful person if I had chosen to study social sciences and stuff like that.
I sometimes even think that my friend couldn't be the right person for me. Perhaps I'm just continue my relationship with him because he seems to be an intelligent person.

So this question is more about relationships, hidden in a more general theme.

I use to think I'm more suited to social science but the maths and physics were my real passion and all I needed to do was some serious work to get over the thinking that the latter wasn't for me. As for relationships, it could be that he doesn't love you enough. Or you don't enough for him. Reasons for that are too numerous to list.
 
  • #13
turbo-1 said:
Evo is not "free" - she likes to travel and stuff - high maintenance.

:smile: sorry, I had too.
 
  • #14
rewebster said:
I think I heard cyrus is free

Lisa! can't even cook, what good a woman that can't cook? Pfffft.
 
  • #15
Cyrus said:
Lisa! can't even cook, what good a woman that can't cook? Pfffft.

well, there you go----when they're young, you train them to cook only what you like
 
  • #16
Andre said:
Wasn't Marlon free too?

I don't think marlon would be interested in dating cyrus!:wink:



PS <respond to other posts later>o:)
 
  • #17
Lisa! said:
PS <respond to other posts later>o:)

Oh darn, another unattainable goal. :smile:
 
  • #18
Lisa! said:
I don't think marlon would be interested in dating cyrus!:wink:



PS <respond to other posts later>o:)

Are you suggesting cyrus can't cook?

Uh oh, here comes the food fight!
 
  • #19
More apropos - the several really bright math types I've known have all been, um, socially inept, to be kind. They had trouble communicating at almost any level. Mostly because they were essentially tuned-out of everyday conversation.
 
  • #20
BobG said:
Are you suggesting cyrus can't cook?

Uh oh, here comes the food fight!

:rolleyes:


(but, I hear he dresses well!)
 
  • #21
jim mcnamara said:
Oh darn, another unattainable goal. :smile:

:smile::approve:

BobG said:
Are you suggesting cyrus can't cook?

Uh oh, here comes the food fight!

Nope! Suppose cyrus is the greatest cook in the world, honestly would you taste what he's cooked? :rolleyes:You know the 1 who serves the food for you, is way more important than the cook and its taste.
 
  • #22
jim mcnamara said:
More apropos - the several really bright math types I've known have all been, um, socially inept, to be kind. They had trouble communicating at almost any level. Mostly because they were essentially tuned-out of everyday conversation.

That's funny, because I live the exact opposite experience... The more skillful I know are mostly the most social ones.
 
  • #23
i have a lot of goals and a lot of them get messed up i just work at them over and over to get it right
 
  • #24
kirk101 said:
i have a lot of goals and a lot of them get messed up i just work at them over and over to get it right

start with proper spelling and good grammar
 

Similar threads

  • · Replies 10 ·
Replies
10
Views
3K
  • · Replies 5 ·
Replies
5
Views
3K
  • · Replies 35 ·
2
Replies
35
Views
10K
  • · Replies 8 ·
Replies
8
Views
2K
  • · Replies 15 ·
Replies
15
Views
3K
  • · Replies 10 ·
Replies
10
Views
3K
  • · Replies 23 ·
Replies
23
Views
4K
  • · Replies 16 ·
Replies
16
Views
3K
  • · Replies 7 ·
Replies
7
Views
16K
  • · Replies 24 ·
Replies
24
Views
3K