When should parents stop giving allowances to their children?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the topic of parental allowances for adult children, specifically when it is appropriate for parents to stop providing financial support. Participants share personal experiences and opinions regarding the age at which allowances should cease, the implications of receiving an allowance as an adult, and the broader societal trends related to young adults living with their parents.

Discussion Character

  • Debate/contested
  • Exploratory
  • Personal anecdotes

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants express that a 24-year-old should not receive an allowance unless they are in college, suggesting that they should work to support themselves.
  • Others argue that it is acceptable for parents to provide financial support if they have the means, and that this is a personal matter between the parents and their adult children.
  • A participant mentions that they stopped receiving an allowance at age 12 or 13 after getting a job, emphasizing the importance of learning to earn money independently.
  • Some contributions highlight the trend of adult children living with their parents due to high living costs, suggesting that this has become more common in recent years.
  • There are differing views on whether receiving an allowance at an older age is odd or acceptable, with some finding it unusual while others see it as a necessary support system.
  • Participants also discuss the potential impact of allowances on financial independence and the ability to manage personal finances.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants do not reach a consensus on when allowances should stop, with multiple competing views on the appropriateness and implications of adult children receiving financial support from their parents.

Contextual Notes

Some participants reference societal trends and personal experiences, indicating that the discussion is influenced by varying economic conditions and cultural expectations regarding financial independence.

kant
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Well, i had a roommate that gets allowance( 70dollars/week) from his( he is 24 years old) parents. i do not know if it would be acceptable to ask him questions regarding his allowance. Do any of you get "allownces" from your parents? what amount, and how frequent do they give it to you. When should parents stop give allowance to their child anyway? How old is old enough to stop receiving allowances?
 
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No I don't. You could ask him questions about it, but don't be surprised if he gets ratty with you for being nosey. It's up to the parents, if they have the means to help him out then fair play.
 
Why would it matter to you?
 
I am 43 years old and both of my parents are deceased and I miss them dearly.
When I was younger my parents never bought me a car. I stopped reveiving an allowance when I got my first paper route. In my opinion, a 24 year old should not be receiving money from his/her parents unless he/she is in college. Even if this is the case, he or she should get a part time job to help relieve some of the burden he/she is putting on his parents.
If he or she is paying the bills on time then you shouldn't butt into his or her financial business
 
RAD4921 said:
I am 43 years old and both of my parents are deceased and I miss them dearly.
When I was younger my parents never bought me a car. I stopped reveiving an allowance when I got my first paper route. In my opinion, a 24 year old should not be receiving money from his/her parents unless he/she is in college. Even if this is the case, he or she should get a part time job to help relieve some of the burden he/she is putting on his parents.
If he or she is paying the bills on time then you shouldn't butt into his or her financial business

The only way I could see my parents paying is if I was in serious financial trouble. Which I think is ok. I am not so sure about an allowance in college. I stopped receiving one when i was 12 or 13 which wasnt too long ago, then I got a job so i could pay for what I have to. But look at it this way. Now you know how to work and get money when you need it. Whats going to happen when your roomates parents won't be there for a job interview or something, I am betting hed have a harder time because he didnt learn as early. Just my thoughts.

-Steve
 
Evo said:
Why would it matter to you?

Why do you find the need to know?
 
kant said:
Why do you find the need to know?
Because of your question
i do not know if it would be acceptable to ask him questions regarding his allowance.
It would depend on why you want to know.
 
kant said:
Why do you find the need to know?
Evo is trying to indicate that the allowance is a personal matter between your roommate and his parents. We don't know how close you are to your roommate. So why would you concerned about his allowance? An allowance from your parents is between you and your parents.

Some parents do choose to subsidize their children, and some wealthy parents lavish their children with money, expensive gifts, vacations, trips overseas, and so on. I have seen parents buy houses for their children.

I expect my children to work in order to support themselves. I received allowance until about 14 when I started working for a wage. I also was expected to work for my parents, so the allowance was earned. I also paid for my college education, and I helped my parents support my sibblings.
 
brewnog said:
No I don't. You could ask him questions about it, but don't be surprised if he gets ratty with you for being nosey. It's up to the parents, if they have the means to help him out then fair play.

I agree.

I don't get allowances, but I know of many students who do. It doesn't bother me at all. If the parents have the means to help, then it's up to them to choose whether or not they want to help.
 
  • #10
That seems odd to still be getting an allowance at 24. You should be supporting yourself by then.

I never really got an allowance, except when I was really little and got something like 50 cents a week to stick in my piggy bank. Then again, until I left for college, my parents bought anything I needed (NOT anything I wanted). Once I was in college, they'd help out here and there with book money or tuition, but for anything else I needed, I had to earn the money by then. By 24, I was helping them out, and couldn't imagine accepting an allowance at that age. I thought it was odd enough that I had a friend who still lived home with his parents at that age.
 
  • #11
Stevedye56 said:
The only way I could see my parents paying is if I was in serious financial trouble.
I read a story in the NYT not too long ago saying this is actually a fairly common practice now (adult children receiving an allowance). With rents consuming more and more of everyone's budget, it is becoming harder for those with entry level jobs to liv on their own, especially in cities. So the parents often help out.

The proportion of adult children living with their parents has also skyrocketed. I don't recall the figure, but I do recall thinking it was an order of magnitude larger than I would have guessed. Off the top of my head, it was something like 25% of people age 30-40 live with their parents.

Now, that may include a lot of cases where the parents have retired and moved in with the children, but most 30-40 year olds' parents probably haven't retired.
 
  • #12
twisting_edge said:
I read a story in the NYT not too long ago saying this is actually a fairly common practice now (adult children receiving an allowance). With rents consuming more and more of everyone's budget, it is becoming harder for those with entry level jobs to liv on their own, especially in cities. So the parents often help out.
If you can't support yourself even with a job, it's time to relocate to someplace more affordable. That, or adjust to the idea that roaches are cheap pets. I think it's becoming more common for young adults to be trying to live well above their means...they seem to think they can just jump right into a first home just like what they grew up in and not that they need to start out small and cheap and work their way up, just like their parents did.

The proportion of adult children living with their parents has also skyrocketed. I don't recall the figure, but I do recall thinking it was an order of magnitude larger than I would have guessed. Off the top of my head, it was something like 25% of people age 30-40 live with their parents.

Now, that may include a lot of cases where the parents have retired and moved in with the children, but most 30-40 year olds' parents probably haven't retired.

And I wouldn't expect the number of parents retiring and moving in with their children would be what's skyrocketing anyway. My parents are due in town tomorrow, and I'm dreading having to spend a full day with them on Wednesday; I cannot imagine trying to live with them full-time!
 
  • #13
Evo said:
Because of your question It would depend on why you want to know.


I am curious about people.. as well as many other things
 
  • #14
I got an allowance until I was 15. The bulk of it was allocated for lunch money at my high school cafeteria. When I turned 16, I got a job.
 
  • #15
The trend for young people to move back in with their parents is a recent development. They are called the "Boomerang Generation" and as TE mentioned, there are millions of them.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002410350_gradboomerang01.html
 
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  • #16
My wife works with a woman in her early 50's, a divorcee, who lives with her parents and her sister. My daughter told me of someone she met in his 50's, who still lives with his parents, and has never married.

Apparently, due to high cost of living, there are many 20-, 30- and 40-somethings who live with their parents.

I would never live with my parents again - as much as I love them. I left home at 17 and never looked back. Besides I have kids of my own to raise - with the expectation that they will be self-sufficient. :biggrin:

And when they are out the door, I'll probably move to the other side of the planet. :biggrin:
 
  • #17
I'm 19 and I get allowance. (I have a part-time job during school, and ideally a full-time job otherwise.) Where I'm from, it's perfectly natural for your parents to take care of you financially until you get your degree. Then it's your turn to work your ass off so they can retire with luxury.

As an aside, living with your parents isn't that big of a deal back home, either. I don't get why it's considered 'wrong' in America, and elsewhere.
 
  • #18
Moonbear said:
If you can't support yourself even with a job, it's time to relocate to someplace more affordable. That, or adjust to the idea that roaches are cheap pets. I think it's becoming more common for young adults to be trying to live well above their means...they seem to think they can just jump right into a first home just like what they grew up in and not that they need to start out small and cheap and work their way up, just like their parents did.

First, it's not as easy anymore. Job openings aren't sitting everywhere.

My dad tells me about having no education and making lots of money. That's rarely possible today, unless you consider $20,000 a lot of money.

Second, tuition is no doubt higher today.

Third, I can accept the idea that students are now living beyond what they can afford.

Fourth, parents do not want their kids to start over. They want to keep the "wealth" earned in the family or bring it higher. Supporting the kids through school is a way of helping them maintain that.

Fifth, times have changed and now we don't move out right away.

I have no idea what the story is with the 24 year old, but I really don't see the problem.

I'm 23 and still live at home. I have school to pay for and books, or basically anything I want. My mom provides me with food and shelter. Good food and shelter no doubt!

Thanks, to my mom, doors of opportunities are opening. Like, my new TA job. That wouldn't have happened if I had to pay for everything. In fact, I probably wouldn't be in school. A possible NSERC Research Grant would have to be lost. I also wouldn't be writing for the school newspaper. So many things that's helping me go further, so why would my mom just stop and watch me rot? Because that's life? Hmmm... I totally disagree.
 
  • #19
I still get an allowance but then again I am only 18. I get $50 a weeK from my parents plus $70 for babysitting a girl around the corner and then $1500 a year from my grandparents if I do well in my studies (so every year)
 
  • #20
rhuthwaite said:
I still get an allowance but then again I am only 18. I get $50 a weeK from my parents plus $70 for babysitting a girl around the corner and then $1500 a year from my grandparents if I do well in my studies (so every year)

That's not allowance.

Parents pay you for being good. :-p

Babysitting is a job. :approve:

Grandparents give scholarships. :biggrin:
 
  • #21
devious_ said:
I'm 19 and I get allowance. (I have a part-time job during school, and ideally a full-time job otherwise.) Where I'm from, it's perfectly natural for your parents to take care of you financially until you get your degree. Then it's your turn to work your ass off so they can retire with luxury.
I see that a lot with my Asian friends here in the U.S. The parents support them to the fullest extent possible through college and grad school, but it is implied that the kids will use their career success to care for their parents in old age. For the most part, I think it's great. I wish I had had that kind of push and support.
The only downside I see is that parents sometimes take too much control over the kids aspirations. My buddy, who is Vietnamese, is a brilliant artist and wanted to go into fashion or industrial design, but her folks made her get a degree in computer programming because it was more practical.
 
  • #22
JasonRox said:
That's not allowance.

Parents pay you for being good. :-p

Babysitting is a job. :approve:

Grandparents give scholarships. :biggrin:

Thanks Jason. Haha Parents actually pay me for appearing to be good... What they don't know can't hurt them :wink:
 
  • #23
Math Is Hard said:
I see that a lot with my Asian friends here in the U.S. The parents support them to the fullest extent possible through college and grad school, but it is implied that the kids will use their career success to care for their parents in old age. For the most part, I think it's great. I wish I had had that kind of push and support.
The only downside I see is that parents sometimes take too much control over the kids aspirations. My buddy, who is Vietnamese, is a brilliant artist and wanted to go into fashion or industrial design, but her folks made her get a degree in computer programming because it was more practical.

A degree in computer programming is not the guarantee of a good job that it once was. Those jobs are being outsourced to India by the thousands.
 
  • #24
edward said:
A degree in computer programming is not the guarantee of a good job that it once was. Those jobs are being outsourced to India by the thousands.
This was many years ago. And she did very well with it. But still, it was not her dream.
 
  • #25
Math Is Hard said:
The only downside I see is that parents sometimes take too much control over the kids aspirations.
I think that's a big downside. As long as your parents are supporting you, they can tell you what to do. Sure, it's harder to support yourself, but at least you appreciate what you've earned and can make your own choices. I can understand helping your kid out from time to time if they have some unexpected expenses and are struggling to make ends meet, or to help with college tuition, but an allowance seems a bit over the top.
 
  • #26
edward said:
The trend for young people to move back in with their parents is a recent development. They are called the "Boomerang Generation" and as TE mentioned, there are millions of them.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002410350_gradboomerang01.html
Great article Edward. Times are defintiely changing. Kids aren't gettting maried as young. More are going for higher educations, and the cost of living really has gotten out of control. If the parent can afford it and is willing, I do not see anything wrong in helping. I don't see a cutoff off at age 18. The Evo child does more for me than I could dare to ask her. If I can help her make ends meet, I'm more than happy too. Why should she suffer if she is going to school full time and working full time, PLUS running errands for me?

My parents used to send me and my husband "care packages" when he was in th navy during the Vietnam War. Our monthly food allowance was $40. If it hadn't been for my parents, I'd have probably starved to death, my husband could eat on base, I couldn't. Luckily I had a HUGE garden and grew a lot of my on food.
 
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  • #27
Evo said:
Great article Edward. Times are defintiely changing. Kids aren't gettting maried as young. More are going for higher educations, and the cost of living really has gotten out of control. If the parent can afford it and is willing, I do not see anything wrong in helping. I don't see a cutoff off at age 18. The Evo child does more for me than I could dare to ask her. If I can help her make ends meet, I'm more than happy too. Why should she suffer if she is going to school full time and working full time, PLUS running errands for me?

My parents used to send me and my husband "care packages" when he was in th navy during the Vietnam War. Our monthly food allowance was $40. If it hadn't been for my parents, I'd have probably starved to death, my husband could eat on base, I couldn't. Luckily I had a HUGE garden and grew a lot of my on food.


Is 40 dollars a lot back in those days?
 
  • #28
Well, can anyone tell me this: How can a 24 year old survive with an allowence of 70 dollars per week? Is the parent a little bit cheap? come on...
 
  • #29
Math Is Hard said:
I got an allowance until I was 15. The bulk of it was allocated for lunch money at my high school cafeteria. When I turned 16, I got a job.

Same here.
 
  • #30
I never got an allowance. Had a paper route at 12, worked for the local sexton at age 14 as part of a crew, was the only person working for the sexton at 15 and 16, so was almost full-time all summer, and worked weekends in the spring and fall. Worked as a flagger all summer at age 17 and greased the construction vehicles on my lunch hour for extra money. All through college, I worked summers in the local mills and played in bands on weekends for extra cash. My parents helped me if I couldn't cover all of my tuition, books, etc, but by the time I started buyng and selling guitars and amps as a side-line, I could pretty much hold my own. My parents grew up poor and worked their way to a comfortable (though by no means lavish) living standard. I'm glad that they didn't just hand me money.

After I had had my paper route for about a year, I had a little over $40 saved up, so my father drove me 25 miles to the nearest big town so I could buy a bicycle (and expand my paper route). I had just enough to buy the bike that I wanted, but couldn't cover the sales tax. He just shrugged and drove me back home. A couple of weeks later, I had earned enough money to cover the sales tax, too, so he drove me back to buy the bike. That may seem silly to some people, but it was a valuable lesson in self-reliance.
 
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