Who else despises talking to their girlfriend on the phone?

[gravenewworld]

I know I am not the only one that absolutely despises having to talk to the girlfriend over the phone. She insists on wanting to spend over an hour or more on the phone almost everyday. To me it is just a huge waste of time out of my day everyday to have to take a timeout 1-2 hours to talk about nothing over the phone. I mean I do have things I have to get done after work. When you try to get her to stop talking and tell her you have to go she just gets mad and says "Fine, you don't want to talk to me, I see how it is" or something similar to that. GOD I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. I don't think I have ever talked to any of my guy friends over the phone for more than 3 minutes.

 

[Jack21222]

She's too demanding and clingy, get rid of her.

 

[lisab]

Well I don't know about the girlfriend thingy, but phone conversations in general have never been my favorite mode of communication.

And 1-2 hours?!? No way I could put up with that. If it fulfills an emotional need in her, I'd (reluctantly) say OK but let's negotiate a time limit.

 

[staddum]

Break your phone and tell her you have no money to buy a new one.

Worst case sceneario: she buys you one.

 

[stevenb]

I know I am not the only one that absolutely despises having to talk to the girlfriend over the phone. She insists on wanting to spend over an hour or more on the phone almost everyday. To me it is just a huge waste of time out of my day everyday to have to take a timeout 1-2 hours to talk about nothing over the phone. I mean I do have things I have to get done after work. When you try to get her to stop talking and tell her you have to go she just gets mad and says "Fine, you don't want to talk to me, I see how it is" or something similar to that. GOD I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. I don't think I have ever talked to any of my guy friends over the phone for more than 3 minutes.

I also hate talking on the phone (really it's just listening when it's a GF) and also feel it's a waste of time. The critical question is whether you are able to spend quality time with her otherwise. If you see her every day and are able to spend quality time with her, then you are justified to limit the phone conversations in the interest of practicality. However, if your schedules don't allow you to spend enough time together, then you'll need to devote some phone time to maintain the relationship. Even more importantly, if you don't see her often, then you should look forward to talking to her, or at least you should care for her enough to meet her half way.

 

[jackmell]

That's normal when you guys just meet and start seeing each other. Bet you've not been with her more than a month right? Females like to talk, especially on the phone, and guys in general do not. It's an affront to her to brush her off and say you got something to do that's more important than her.

I say put up with it. It will wear down as your relationship settles into normal mode, maybe after a month or so, and that one hour or so thing will vanish.

 

[Upisoft]

Well I don't know about the girlfriend thingy, but phone conversations in general have never been my favorite mode of communication.

And 1-2 hours?!? No way I could put up with that. If it fulfills an emotional need in her, I'd (reluctantly) say OK but let's negotiate a time limit.

I am in love!:!)

 

[drizzle]

Record a tape of your voice saying a VERY long poem, put it on while you have your nap. Don't worry, she'd love to hear it everytime you call her.

 

[Topher925]

Record a tape of your voice saying a VERY long poem, put it on while you have your nap. Don't worry, she'd love to hear it everytime you call her.

Wish I thought of that.

 

[Dembadon]

I know I am not the only one that absolutely despises having to talk to the girlfriend over the phone. She insists on wanting to spend over an hour or more on the phone almost everyday. To me it is just a huge waste of time out of my day everyday to have to take a timeout 1-2 hours to talk about nothing over the phone. I mean I do have things I have to get done after work. When you try to get her to stop talking and tell her you have to go she just gets mad and says "Fine, you don't want to talk to me, I see how it is" or something similar to that. GOD I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. I don't think I have ever talked to any of my guy friends over the phone for more than 3 minutes.

I think there needs to be a compromise. She should be respectful of your time, and you should meet her need for conversation on some level. I don't like talking on the phone, but sometimes it's the only way to connect with someone.

Also, manipulation is unacceptable. You need to speak-up when she makes extreme statements about how you feel and what you think. You don't need to bite her head off, but you should tell her that it's unnecessary.

 

[BobG]

I hate long phone calls. So many chances to make fatal mistakes.

My worst mistakes:

I fell asleep during a phone call once. That wasn't good. Never mind the fact that I'd been up for almost 24 hours straight, something that would have been obvious in a face to face conversation.

I could have sworn the conversation was over and hung up. Not only did I get chewed out for hanging up on her, I then had to endure numerous silences in the follow-up conversation that seemed intentionally aimed at having me repeat my earlier mistake (to the point that I finally started laughing, which wasn't the response she was aiming for either).

Plus several more minor mistakes, such as being asked what she just said and not having a clue. And how much credit do I get for remembering what she said an hour ago during the first few minutes of our phone conversation? Absolutely nada! Where's the justice in that?!

 

[Pengwuino]

I could have sworn the conversation was over and hung up. Not only did I get chewed out for hanging up on her, I then had to endure numerous silences in the follow-up conversation that seemed intentionally aimed at having me repeat my earlier mistake (to the point that I finally started laughing, which wasn't the response she was aiming for either).

Plus several more minor mistakes, such as being asked what she just said and not having a clue. And how much credit do I get for remembering what she said an hour ago during the first few minutes of our phone conversation? Absolutely nada! Where's the justice in that?!

Oh that is such BS! If a girl wants you to actively listening (which i assume since she gave you pop quizzes), she better realize that there's only so much guys can handle! If you were some... physics major and you asked your gf to always go to a weekly seminar on physics, you would seem crazy if you demanded she answer questions about what she was looking at during the seminar!

I have a friend who goes on and on and on. If she ever asked me what she just said, I'd have to say "something about something with someone ... at mcdonalds?". Most conversations seem to be mainly her wanting to blather on about something for an hour. I think she understands it. It's not a conversation or a discussion, it's just her talking, so I think she expects me to not listen. To me, the test about whether or not I should be expected to remember is how well the person let's me say something in edgewise. If I try to say something and it's as if I caught them off guard and they kinda just want to continue on with their story, I assume I can doze off. If they actually stop talking to see what you're saying, it's an actual discussion.

 

[lubuntu]

When my gf and I first started out five years ago she always wanted to talk the phone. It got to be pretty trying. I kept trying to push her towards IM since it is much less demanding form of communication. I hate having to sit there and do pretty much nothing besides "be on the phone."

 

[Pengwuino]

When my gf and I first started out five years ago she always wanted to talk the phone. It got to be pretty trying. I kept trying to push her towards IM since it is much less demanding form of communication. I hate having to sit there and do pretty much nothing besides "be on the phone."

Bluetooth. Win. If I only had this thing 4 years ago...

 

[rootX]

I wouldn't mind saying "that's nonsense/waste of time" .. or providing a conclusion based on few minutes of conversation .

 

[Vanadium 50]

Does "Sweetheart, if we're going to talk for an hour, why not come on over? I'd love to see you" work?

 

[Pengwuino]

Does "Sweetheart, if we're going to talk for an hour, why not come on over? I'd love to see you" work?

But then she might come over!

 

[Sefrez]

I'm the same way (I have no GF though). I hate talking over phones. I can't wait till a different form of communication is made. Absolutely hate it. Talking via text (or in person, sometimes) doesn't bother me though.

I can also understand what you mean by it being "pointless" or "a waist of time". It's kinda like greeting people. "Hey, how you doing?" "Good, you?" It's always "good" now your turn to say the same - then communication ends. That communication was of worth, wasn't it? /sarcasm.

 

[xxChrisxx]

Does "Sweetheart, if we're going to talk for an hour, why not come on over? I'd love to see you" work?

Why would you talk on the phone if you were within visiting distance? I can understand the OP's position, I didn't really like long phone calls, as I ran out of things to say. However, I'm assuming this is a semi long distance thing (as that's the position I was in) and OP has to think of his missus' feelings.

Instant messenger is a terribly impersonal way of 'communication'. The idea isn't to communicate, it's to hear your voice. It's her way of being connected whilst you not being there.

Frankly if you find it that much of a chore to use the word despise, then stop complaining on a forum OP and just finish it.

 

[BobG]

Frankly if you find it that much of a chore to use the word despise, then stop complaining on a forum OP and just finish it.

I've never found it a chore to use the word despiise.

I mean dspise. Uh, dwpise. Darn it! DESPISE, damn it!

And, to be honest, complaining on a forum is the perfect solution! If I could just convince her to join the same internet forums as me then all my problems would be solved!

 

[Office_Shredder]

I've never found it a chore to use the word despiise.

I mean dspise. Uh, dwpise. Darn it! DESPISE, damn it!

And, to be honest, complaining on a forum is the perfect solution! If I could just convince her to join the same internet forums as me then all my problems would be solved!

Because she'll see you complaining about your relationship and break up with you?

 

[Hepth]

I can also understand what you mean by it being "pointless" or "a waist of time". It's kinda like greeting people. "Hey, how you doing?" "Good, you?" It's always "good" now your turn to say the same - then communication ends. That communication was of worth, wasn't it? /sarcasm.

The worst is when it isn't "good"

"Hey, hows it going?"
"Bad, my coworkers were blah blah blah and I think blah blah makes me look fat. Am I ugly? I blah blah blah. She's such a blah blah..."
(*cringes*)

What if I want to talk about MY DAY!? (which i really don't, as I sat in front of a computer all day doing math; but its the principle!)


Phones are horrible. Video skype is even worse as they can tell when you alt-tab to a web browser as your screen suddenly gets a lot brighter... (Girlfriend is in LA whilst I'm in Detroit)

 

[raw]

If you're not happy in the relationship then break it off.

 

[lisab]

The worst is when it isn't "good"

"Hey, hows it going?"
"Bad, my coworkers were blah blah blah and I think blah blah makes me look fat. Am I ugly? I blah blah blah. She's such a blah blah..."
(*cringes*)

That sounds like torture!

 

[raw]

That sounds like torture!

My friend's bf often proofreads her papers. She asked him what he thought of one and he said it was "ok". She had a hissy fit over this until she got him to tell her it was great.

 

[trautlein]

I don't own a phone for this exact reason. And a couple others reasons...

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

Man most of you hit the nail on the head with this one

just because you hate talking on the phone doesn't mean you HAVE TO break it off with her, i don't see anywhere that says if you hate talking on the phone you obviously hate the person you are with, which would be obsurd

what gets me the most is the obscene amount of childish games they seem to always want to play to "test" the other person as some of you illustrated
like asking you to repeat what she just said, or suddenly go silent after 30 minutes of straight chewing your ear off with whatever is in her brain at the moment to expect that you will reply something relevant

if god forbid i get the answer wrong they go on to chew you a new a-hole, well i chew one back at them HA take that

actually just broke it off with a girl yesterday for this exact childish behavior, i have no time for it... one of many reasons i am probably almost always single...

 

[wasteofo2]

If you don't want to talk to her on the phone, don't.

In fact, standing up to a woman making unreasonable demands of you is a great way to make her respect you more, and make fewer unreasonable demands of you in other aspects of life.

If she sees that you don't like something but you do it anyway, she'll begin to make more and more unreasonable demands of you, until the relationship collapses.

Having some backbone and setting limits is a great way to keep relationships healthy and respectful.

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

If you don't want to talk to her on the phone, don't.

In fact, standing up to a woman making unreasonable demands of you is a great way to make her respect you more, and make fewer unreasonable demands of you in other aspects of life.

If she sees that you don't like something but you do it anyway, she'll begin to make more and more unreasonable demands of you, until the relationship collapses.

Having some backbone and setting limits is a great way to keep relationships healthy and respectful.

well said..

 

[brainstorm]

Why don't you tell her that you don't like spending time on the phone and tell her why? If you don't like having long conversations about mundane topics, she should know what she's in for in a long-term relationship. She may still choose to stick with you and tough it out through a marriage and child-rearing, but she should at least know up-front that all her idle chit-chat desires are going to have to get satisfied by someone besides you.