Why are people like this these days

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I think a lot of it is sometimes how the person feels about themselves whether they are a 'helper'/nice or not---

---some people don't, or, are not, even cordial in emails --who knows, maybe it's just some people 'feel' overloaded and can't be a 'giving' person to be nice to others

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I was just thinking--there's a woman that I talk to--she's very cordial and nice (on a social level), but she's not a very giving person. I guess in a way she's shallow--but, she would never hurt anyone, physically or verbally.
 
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I was walking in a city park early one morning and saw a mugging taking place on a nearby street, must've been about a block from the CBD. Being a workday there were oddly enough people just walking around an elderly couple, being obviously held up for some money, just carrying briefcases and avoiding the whole thing like it was a busker you didn't want to chip a dollar in for.
I couldn't believe nobody was helping, but then again there was me and I certainly ran over, so I guess somebody did help in the end.

Genuine consideration doesn't seem the mainstream social philosophy however. It's never really gotten me anywhere but in trouble, I'd have much rather driven past my life in an air conditioned Mercedes any day of the week.
 
I think a mugging is slightly different, as there's a serious risk to yourself. If someone falls over and is hurt or otherwise I fail to see the risk element, thus I fail to see the justification in pretending it didn't happen and just strolling on by, IMO and call me controversial, if you do that then you're a bit of a selfish individual.
 

Evo

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I wouldn't try to stop a mugging, I'd just be adding another victim to the crime. What I would do is if the mugger wasn't paying attention to me, I'd use my cell phone to make a video of it and give it to the police. It would be the least I could do.
 
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I think I would try, unless I saw a gun--

I guess my way of thinking is: if I was being mugged (no gun) , would I like whoever is there watching it unfold to do at least something/anything to prevent it, or something possibly worse than could also happen?
 
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~christina~

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I wouldn't try to stop a mugging, I'd just be adding another victim to the crime.
I agree.

But I did see tv show where they say, "what would you do"? and they have various situations and one was where a person stole something. The result was that in every case they had to see someone mention that it was stolen for people to take action. One went so far as to punch the actor in the face..ouch.
 
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I never punched anyone in the face when I stepped in---but in the three times I remember stepping into a 'scenario' -- it was to break up a fight, not a mugging (I haven't been a onlooker to one yet)
 

Evo

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Also, although I say I would have the presence of mind to take a video of a mugging, I actually witnessed a murder and nothing clicked until I was standing over the body with a pool of blood forming around him, well that and the woman that started screaming when she and her boyfriend walked out of the bar and almost stepped on him. It's just something you aren't expecting so it takes a while to "click". I guess if you live around crime, then you might be quicker to recognize it.
 
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was that the first murder you witnessed?
 

Evo

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was that the first murder you witnessed?
The first and so far the only. Although I had two plain clothed detectives show up at an apartment I was living in when I was 18 because the girl that lived next to me had been murdered, but she wasn't murdered there. They wanted me to describe anyone I'd seen near her apartment. That's when I realized I really do not pay attention to what is going on around me and really suck at describing people. "Uhm, he was a guy, dark hair and a beard". They were so glad I could provide so much detail. :redface:

A friend of mine from work was also murdered. One of the Evo Child's best friends and a really sweet kid was killed (knife through the jugular) trying to break up a fight at an Indie music club. You don't want to get too close to me.
 
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--just seeing what type of crowd you hang around or live around:wink:


didn't you say one of your girlfriends (?) killed her husband, too?
 
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Evo

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didn't you say one of your girlfriends (?) killed her husband, too?
She wasn't my girlfriend, she was my boyfriend's ex girlfriend and my best friend's fiancee's ex wife and we all hung out in the same social circle. She was a high class golddigger. One of her ex-husbands is a household name in the US. I think she's still in prison. I don't think she did it, but I find it rather poetic justice.
 
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She wasn't my girlfriend, she was my boyfriend's ex girlfriend and my best friend's fiancee's ex wife and we all hung out in the same social circle. She was a high class golddigger. One of her ex-husbands is a household name in the US. I think she's still in prison. I don't think she did it, but I find it rather poetic justice.
boy, oh, boy--a lot of "ex" 's in that paragraph


sounds like a 'rough' social circle---- or, now, maybe, 'ex'-social circle


household name?---you mean like 'Ron Popeil' ? or one of the no-interest 'real estate investment infomercial' gurus?
 

Evo

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household name?---you mean like 'Ron Popeil' ? or one of the no-interest 'real estate investment infomercial' gurus?
No, it's more respectable.
 
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Jim Baker? Jimmy Swaggert? Paul Crouch? Pat Robertson?
 

Kurdt

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*Backs away from Evo* :uhh:

Luckily I've never seen or known anyone that has been murdered. Hell I can't recall anyone I know even dying. Are you sure your father wasn't fond of scythes, black cloaks and white horses?

"Uhm, he was a guy, dark hair and a beard". They were so glad I could provide so much detail. :redface:
That could be me, except I shaved off my beard and I wasn't born then.
 

mgb_phys

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But I did see tv show where they say, "what would you do"? and they have various situations
There was an exercise like that on Paris underground..
Unfortunately as they were staging the 'attack' a bunch of english squaddies came round the corner. The french didn't speak english, the english didn't speak french - nobody was in uniform. I think the actor got quite badly hurt before they managed to pull everybody off him.
 
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Also, although I say I would have the presence of mind to take a video of a mugging, I actually witnessed a murder and nothing clicked until I was standing over the body with a pool of blood forming around him, well that and the woman that started screaming when she and her boyfriend walked out of the bar and almost stepped on him. It's just something you aren't expecting so it takes a while to "click". I guess if you live around crime, then you might be quicker to recognize it.
reading over that again, it sounds like a Mickey Spillane book---you know, evo, you should do something constructive, like quitting your job and writing a mystery fiction novel
 

Evo

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*Backs away from Evo* :uhh:
What, just because people around me get murdered, the radio station I worked for got blown up by the Ku Klux Klan, a client of mine had their manufacturing plant blow up right after I visited and another client died from a car bomb in his car after I was there? Geeze, people might think that I'm a jinx. :uhh:
 
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no, maybe just hanging around the wrong 'ex'-crowd--:eek:--


and Schrodinger's Dog said in the other thread that you have 'mad staring eyes' and that you're not hot--:surprised--is that the truth?
 
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Evo

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and Schrodinger's Dog said in the other thread that you have 'mad staring eyes' and that you're not hot--:surprised--is that the truth?
Absolutely. Not only is my eyesight deteriorating, but my basal body temperature is well below normal.
 
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Absolutely. Not only is my eyesight deteriorating, but my basal body temperature is well below normal.
my, my, my........I'm glad you didn't post that on 'some' other forum-----that could be paraphrased in a way that wouldn't be too complimentary.......

....but 'we' (er..uh..hmmm) aren't like THAT on this forum!!
 
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I remember stopping on Bee Line expressway outside Orlando Florida to help a family whos car broke down. They turned out to be my neighbors in Tennessee. I can't count the times I have taken people to get parts and even did the mechanical work to get them going. However, at most I suspect that in the situation you described I would have simply asked if you were ok, without directly offering any help. Even then only after you remained on the ground and I was already near enough to ask. You would have only received the help you directly asked for.

It has nothing to do with a lack of sympathy these days. The level of sympathy in people today is greater than any time in human history, or even in my lifetime. In fact your expectation of help from strangers is a relatively recent phenomena. In the not too distant past your expectation would have rather been fear. Our modern mythology of degrading empathy is based in our feelings of guilt about our past actions with other societies. Itself a recent phenomena, in spite of the fact that these other societies were quiet as bloody as we were in their own context.

So why no direct offer of help? What happened already occurred and no action is going to change that. You remained on the ground so it became a judgment call with observers if you were injured that badly or your day was simply destroyed and you weren't sure how to proceed, even if there was some pain. So presumably people judged that in spite of pain you remained capable of dealing with it yourself. So the person considering helping you then must consider how their motivations are going to be interpreted. That's not a pretty thing to have to consider. What do you do when the primary motivation for helping seems to be to show how nice you are? In a one on one will it be judged as an attempt to acquire any type of favor? 99% of everything people do is balanced against how others are going to judge their motivations. This is not always easy when social expectations change so drastically as they have even in my life.

In earlier times helping in such a situation would have been interpreted as taking a dominate roll over you. If people close to you found out it could even be deadly. Society is not by any means degrading. What used to be expected publicly defensible behavior is now criminal, even having a butter knife in your school lunchbox. It hasn't been many years since killing your wife was defensible. Cops thought little about mutual fights between people in my life. I personally have legally drove while drinking. Earlier last century New York was far bloodier and lawless than the frontier, Indians and all. If you think things are bad today just be glad you weren't born many years sooner.

I hope your ok now. Good luck.
 
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I think you used the two words, and may be where part of the problem lies--but it seems they may have been used interchangeably--but they can't be.

There is a group of people that are sympathetic, and sympathy seems that it can be both taught and felt on a more broad and generalized level; but, there are a lot fewer people who are truly empathetic.

The number of people that I've met that I recognize as being empathetic is very, very few in number--to the point that, sometimes, I think, that it is almost more genetic than socially 'taught'.

From one definition, a good psychiatrist should be sympathetic and very empathetic to recognize the situation that the person is in. A person, like the Michael Douglas character in "Greed", has very little sympathy, and little to no empathy.
 

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