Why Do Female Students Listen to Male Students' Questions Without Interacting?

[JasonRox]

I think you've got it. That is why she hasn't done any talking for the past months. But to carry it out into practice is a whole new ball game for me. After all theoreticians don't go out much do they.

Sure they do.

Feynmann was social person, and so was Einstein.

It's kind of funny that even members of Physics Forums sometimes paint the wrong picture of Mathematicians and Physicists.

 

[mathwonk]

well, that may be why there are so few of us now.

 

[theoritician]

Sure they do.

Feynmann was social person, and so was Einstein.

It's kind of funny that even members of Physics Forums sometimes paint the wrong picture of Mathematicians and Physicists.

I don't know what most people think but to me they are more theorists. A theoritician to me is more of a mathematician hence the ending in cian rather then ist. But I could be the only one making these intepretations.

Mathematicians on average tend to be more eccentric than physicists.

 

[cristo]

I don't know what most people think but to me they are more theorists. A theoritician to me is more of a mathematician hence the ending in cian rather then ist. But I could be the only one making these intepretations.

Mathematicians on average tend to be more eccentric than physicists.

To be honest, I've never even heard of the word "theoretician"-- I would call anyone who studied theoretical physics a theorist! Anyway, this fine line you are drawing is moot-- you should, as a physicist, or whatever you are, be attempting to dispell the stereotype that all physicists/mathematicians have no lives and no social skills. This may be true for the odd one, as in any other profession, but it is not the "norm."

 

[TestUser12]

How do you tell an extroverted statistician from an introverted statistician?

The extroverted statistician is the one looking at the other person's shoes... *groan*

 

[EnumaElish]

Why do you ask?

Two words: stress control.

Bonus: possibly more social interactions, depending on where, when, and with whom one chooses to exercise.

Warning: not a substitute for psychological therapy, esp. for "shy" or reclusive people.

 

[JasonRox]

I don't know what most people think but to me they are more theorists. A theoritician to me is more of a mathematician hence the ending in cian rather then ist. But I could be the only one making these intepretations.

Mathematicians on average tend to be more eccentric than physicists.

Mathematicians still aren't like you describe.

We have a small mathematics department, but many profs for the size. The profs in general are outgoing and sociable, so I have no idea where you get these ideas from.

Not only that, the students in the mathematics department are known to be party animals. How odd is that? Most of our mathematics majors (not mixed with education) go to graduate school. I'm not a party animal, but the other students are. I could never keep up that's for sure. But I am sociable for sure. I'm going into my 4th year, and I am still sociable, in fact, even more so now.

Try reading books like "I want to be a mathematicians." by Paul Halmos, and/or by some guy like Herbert. I know of a few books, but forgot the names. These people talk about their own experience in mathematics and they are all awesome people with great social skills and character. They even talk about people like you who look at mathematicians like they're suppose to be quiet, insanely shy, and lack every type of social skill you can imagine. It's totally wrong. I find it surprising that someone in mathematics doesn't even know this.

 

[EnumaElish]

Mathematicians on average tend to be more eccentric than physicists.

After all theoreticians don't go out much do they.

What do these generalizations get for you?

 

[rewebster]

What are you talking about?

In this 'subset of activities', you've already made it to third base.

Can you say, "Coffee?"

Possibly not. The main thing is to make it natural and a lot of things can go wrong, especially for a theoretician or should I say theoritician like me.

It's easy--break it down into two syllables:

'cof'---the thing you have to do to get something off your chest, so you can breathe easier

and

'fee'---that little bit extra you have to give, to get what you want

 

[JasonRox]

I suggest to seek professional help.

It's either that or this person is a troll.

 

[rewebster]

I suggest to seek professional help.

It's either that or this person is a troll.

sorry, again, there, bud,--I didn't realize that the word 'coffee' was going to hit a nerve

 

[EnumaElish]

I suggest to seek professional help.

It's either that or this person is a troll.

Unlike, "on a roll"?

 

[TeTeC]

I agree with JasonRox. In my physics and mathematics department, most students and professors I know are quite outgoing. And the ones I know best are mostly party animals, although the Belgian city of Louvain-la-Neuve is partly known for its quite exuberant night life.

However, it's generally true that we have to spend more time studying. Especially for freshmen.

 

[JasonRox]

sorry, again, there, bud,--I didn't realize that the word 'coffee' was going to hit a nerve

I wasn't talking about you.

 

[EnumaElish]

It's easy--break it down into two syllables:

'cof'---the thing you have to do to get something off your chest, so you can breathe easier

and

'fee'---that little bit extra you have to give, to get what you want

In some cultures it may be more appropriate and/or more practical to ask to have tea, before moving to coffee.

And, it's only one syllable, implying double the probability of success.

 

[EnumaElish]

sorry, again, there, bud,--I didn't realize that the word 'coffee' was going to hit a nerve

Coffee reminds me JasonRox, who reminds me of Erdos... Or the other way around, in which case the theorem becomes a definition and vice versa.

 

[theoritician]

What are you talking about?

In this 'subset of activities', you've already made it to third base.

Can you say coffee?

Why have I made it to third base? I was just being an idiot before. I better start getting my act together.

 

[theoritician]

I've finally come to understand what people like rewebster and others have been telling me. It took some time but I feel the pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place and I have mental 'picture' of what is going on that I never had before.

I am thinking of telling her now that I like to ask her out after the exams in 3 months time as we both are busy people. Is that too long?

It is better than nothing as she dosen't need to wait for me after class and we both will know what is going on for sure, provided she agrees of course.

 

[EnumaElish]

Sounds too much like a "grandiose plan" for an arranged marriage. "My son will ask for your daughter's hand in 3 months, agreed?" (Handshake.) "Um, dessert?"

Except in your mind you are playing all the parts in the play.

Why are you setting yourself up for failure?

I am thinking of telling her now that I like to ask her out after the exams in 3 months time as we both are busy people.

And what do you see happening to your relationship during the intervening 3 months? Are you going to hide from her? Expect her to hide from you?

It is better than nothing

You are almost ready to settle for nothing, aren't you? Have you thought why?

 

[Moonbear]

I haven't looked in on this thread in a while. Is this STILL going on? Why haven't you asked her out yet if you're so obsessed with asking her out?! The semester is almost over and you've wasted all of it just hemming and hawing.

Look, what's the worst case scenario? You ask her out and she turns down your offer. So? Is that any worse than never getting the nerve up to ask her at all and spending the rest of your days regretting and wondering if you missed a perfect opportunity to date a really pretty young woman? Just ask her out. She'll either say yes or no, and you'll have an answer without spending a whole semester sweating it out. And, get this, even if she says no, you'll see that your whole world did NOT come crashing down around you...though, if you got it over with in the first few days of seeing her, you'd have only wasted a few days of your life mulling it over, while now, you'll sit there wondering why you wasted a whole semester on something that is going nowhere. And, if she says yes, you'll again wonder why you wasted the whole semester waiting to ask her out when you could have been enjoying that time dating her! Ask her out, get an answer, and move onward. If it's no, then you'll know for next time that it's better to ask sooner than later and not waste so much time dwelling on things when you could get a direct answer by just asking.

To put it bluntly, if you never ask anyone out on a date, you're never going to have any dates. That's the whole of dating in a nutshell. Those guys who seem so popular and have lots of dates?...it's because they ask for them, and you can bet they get turned down sometimes too, but keep asking and you'll find some that say yes.

 

[qspeechc]

Just invit her for coffee to discuss work, that way you'll be working and spnding tim with her.

 

[theoritician]

Sounds too much like a "grandiose plan" for an arranged marriage. "My son will ask for your daughter's hand in 3 months, agreed?" (Handshake.) "Um, dessert?"

I am terrible aren't I. Maybe I am not ready. It's just that I think dating disrupts your mind too much especially for a weak student. So its better to do it in the break. However to gurantee a date in advance is good because we can concentrate on our studies and not waste time wondering what is going on or what not.

 

[theoritician]

I haven't looked in on this thread in a while. Is this STILL going on? Why haven't you asked her out yet if you're so obsessed with asking her out?! The semester is almost over and you've wasted all of it just hemming and hawing.

Look, what's the worst case scenario? You ask her out and she turns down your offer. So? Is that any worse than never getting the nerve up to ask her at all and spending the rest of your days regretting and wondering if you missed a perfect opportunity to date a really pretty young woman? Just ask her out. She'll either say yes or no, and you'll have an answer without spending a whole semester sweating it out. And, get this, even if she says no, you'll see that your whole world did NOT come crashing down around you...though, if you got it over with in the first few days of seeing her, you'd have only wasted a few days of your life mulling it over, while now, you'll sit there wondering why you wasted a whole semester on something that is going nowhere. And, if she says yes, you'll again wonder why you wasted the whole semester waiting to ask her out when you could have been enjoying that time dating her! Ask her out, get an answer, and move onward. If it's no, then you'll know for next time that it's better to ask sooner than later and not waste so much time dwelling on things when you could get a direct answer by just asking.

To put it bluntly, if you never ask anyone out on a date, you're never going to have any dates. That's the whole of dating in a nutshell. Those guys who seem so popular and have lots of dates?...it's because they ask for them, and you can bet they get turned down sometimes too, but keep asking and you'll find some that say yes.

I am thinking of asking her out now but the actual date would be in 3 months time. You think that is not a good idea?

 

[cristo]

I am thinking of asking her out now but the actual date would be in 3 months time.

Why would it be in three month's time? What's wrong with this weekend?

 

[rewebster]

I am thinking of asking her out now but the actual date would be in 3 months time. You think that is not a good idea?

The Physics Forum had a problem: I changed my email, and I hadn't got a confirmation email after 3 days. The 'confirmation' emails were not being sent and without the confirmation response, members aren't able to post or send/read new PM's (the thin/'not bold' look to a user's name means that they can't post or PM for one reason or another). I couldn't PM or post to find out what's wrong, I'd emailed the 'webmaster' from the bottom of the PF nexus page about a half dozen times with no response to find out what's wrong and how to correct it (maybe it wasn't working either). The "PF Prime" and the "PF Nexus" (at the bottom left of the page) have totally different looks and links, too (I was using the "PF Prime" format, which doesn't even have a 'contact us' link). They just fixed the problem and I'm able to 'post' again (thanks whomever!).



Anyway:

In this 'subset of pre-dating activities'

First base--- you saw/found someone you're interested in (and she may be in you).

Second base---you made contact (you got out of your shell) of some sort, and she didn't run.

Third base---you returned to make contact several more times, and she still didn't run.

Fourth base (home run for this stage)---you (causally) ask her to do something (coffee or ?(tea)) outside of the space that has been 'common' ground so far. Einstein dated even when he was in school, if that makes any difference.

Anything can happen to you (or her) in the next three months. Wouldn't it be a pity, a shame, and a waste if something happened that you missed your chance to even go out on a 'study' date (tomorrow maybe even) by you 'thinking' that it would be 'best' if you waited 90 days to get to know her even a little bit?

 

[qspeechc]

A feel like I can really learn something from this thread, being an extreme introvert myself!

 

[EnumaElish]

I am thinking of asking her out now but the actual date would be in 3 months time. You think that is not a good idea?

How will this make you less anxious? Suppose you put it forth to her, and supposing she says "oh, okay," aren't you going to be even more worried that she changes her mind during those 3 long months? (I bet you would be.)

"Date? What date? Oh, the one we had talked about, back in September of 2007? Yeah, I almost remember. You see, my circumstances have changed. I knew you'd understand."

There are two ways to avoid these worries, and you are aware of both.

 

[Moonbear]

Why would it be in three month's time? What's wrong with this weekend?

EXACTLY! If you ask someone on a date and then don't schedule it for 3 months, that just sounds weird...like you're either still trying to hide the bodies from the last date, or married and waiting for the wife to be away visiting her mother, or, well, nothing that makes it sound like a good idea. If you're going to ask her out, and she says yes, just do it as soon as you both have a free day...this weekend, next weekend, Wednesday night, whatever, but as soon as possible, not 3 months down the road.

 

[cristo]

EXACTLY! If you ask someone on a date and then don't schedule it for 3 months, that just sounds weird...like you're either still trying to hide the bodies from the last date, or married and waiting for the wife to be away visiting her mother, or, well, nothing that makes it sound like a good idea. If you're going to ask her out, and she says yes, just do it as soon as you both have a free day...this weekend, next weekend, Wednesday night, whatever, but as soon as possible, not 3 months down the road.

I agree. Plus, it's going to be a lot easier to say something like "hey, do you fancy grabbing a coffee later in the week" rather than "will you go on a date with me?" yea, sure "ok, how does 17th December suit you?" I think if someone asked me out on a date (although I'm a guy, so that doesn't happen all that often!) and they scheduled it for three months down the line I'd think "hang on a minute; this girl can't really be that interested in me if she's putting this date off three months."

 

[theoritician]

The Physics Forum had a problem: I changed my email, and I hadn't got a confirmation email after 3 days. The 'confirmation' emails were not being sent and without the confirmation response, members aren't able to post or send/read new PM's (the thin/'not bold' look to a user's name means that they can't post or PM for one reason or another). I couldn't PM or post to find out what's wrong, I'd emailed the 'webmaster' from the bottom of the PF nexus page about a half dozen times with no response to find out what's wrong and how to correct it (maybe it wasn't working either). The "PF Prime" and the "PF Nexus" (at the bottom left of the page) have totally different looks and links, too (I was using the "PF Prime" format, which doesn't even have a 'contact us' link). They just fixed the problem and I'm able to 'post' again (thanks whomever!).



Anyway:

In this 'subset of pre-dating activities'

First base--- you saw/found someone you're interested in (and she may be in you).

Second base---you made contact (you got out of your shell) of some sort, and she didn't run.

Third base---you returned to make contact several more times, and she still didn't run.

Fourth base (home run for this stage)---you (causally) ask her to do something (coffee or ?(tea)) outside of the space that has been 'common' ground so far. Einstein dated even when he was in school, if that makes any difference.

Anything can happen to you (or her) in the next three months. Wouldn't it be a pity, a shame, and a waste if something happened that you missed your chance to even go out on a 'study' date (tomorrow maybe even) by you 'thinking' that it would be 'best' if you waited 90 days to get to know her even a little bit?

How do you define contact? We've only had verbal contact on two occassions (I don't even know her name yet!) so maybe I need to stay on third base for more time before making the home run?

I'm more of a Dirac then an Einstein. Extremely reserved and impersonal but fundalmentally a good guy. Probably a trait more common in mathematicians.

 

[cristo]

Probably a trait more common in mathematicians.

Please, if you learn nothing else from this forum, at least take away the point that these stereotypes that you seem to agree with are simply not true. As others have said before, and I will reiterate-- physicists and mathematicians (I suppose I'm a cross between the two) are not all shy, introverted people with few friends and a lack of social skills. We are normal people!

 

[theoritician]

Please, if you learn nothing else from this forum, at least take away the point that these stereotypes that you seem to agree with are simply not true. As others have said before, and I will reiterate-- physicists and mathematicians (I suppose I'm a cross between the two) are not all shy, introverted people with few friends and a lack of social skills. We are normal people!

Ok. Point taken. I like to see myself as a normal person as well but we all have our delusiosn and fantasies.

 

[rewebster]

A feel like I can really learn something from this thread, being an extreme introvert myself!

What's up?

 

[EnumaElish]

I don't even know her name yet!

Why don't you ask her?

 

[rewebster]

Why don't you ask her?

Or, better yet, tell her your name---you'll find out a lot on how she answers.

 

[kaisxuans]

Or, better yet, tell her your name---you'll find out a lot on how she answers.

and ask her for her phone number while your at it!

 

[Moonbear]

Or, better yet, tell her your name---you'll find out a lot on how she answers.

Yep, that's the easiest way to initiate an introduction, "Hi, it seems we keep running into each other this way...my name is..." Most normal people will respond by telling you their name too. Then you can give some cheesy response like, "Oh, that's a really pretty name, it suits you." If she rolls her eyes and gets annoyed at the cheesy line, she's not that interested; if she kind of blushes or giggles, then she probably is interested and you can then ask her to do something together.

I didn't realize we needed to start handing out user's manuals for women to so many of our members here. I think we'll need a long section on troubleshooting.

 

[kaisxuans]

Yep, that's the easiest way to initiate an introduction, "Hi, it seems we keep running into each other this way...my name is..." Most normal people will respond by telling you their name too. Then you can give some cheesy response like, "Oh, that's a really pretty name, it suits you." If she rolls her eyes and gets annoyed at the cheesy line, she's not that interested; if she kind of blushes or giggles, then she probably is interested and you can then ask her to do something together.

I didn't realize we needed to start handing out user's manuals for women to so many of our members here. I think we'll need a long section on troubleshooting.

Haha, it is logical though. but to see weather she really likes you ,u have to see it in the long term

 

[JasonRox]

Yep, that's the easiest way to initiate an introduction, "Hi, it seems we keep running into each other this way...my name is..." Most normal people will respond by telling you their name too. Then you can give some cheesy response like, "Oh, that's a really pretty name, it suits you." If she rolls her eyes and gets annoyed at the cheesy line, she's not that interested; if she kind of blushes or giggles, then she probably is interested and you can then ask her to do something together.

I didn't realize we needed to start handing out user's manuals for women to so many of our members here. I think we'll need a long section on troubleshooting.

No, I wouldn't use that cheesy line. I don't want to explain, but I wouldn't use it.

 

[Moonbear]

No, I wouldn't use that cheesy line. I don't want to explain, but I wouldn't use it.

It still works, you know. It would be better for him to continue with more spontaneous conversation, but given his state of anxiety about this, I don't think spontaneous is going to work.

 

[Far Star]

It might be helpful to ask someone if they know her name. If you find out the next time you see her you can say "You name is..., right?" If anything she'll take an interest in how you know her name, or be flattered you took the time to find out. Well, maybe not if she's a closet paranoid, but her response will give you a clue.

Edit to add:...will give you a clue either way.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I didn't realize we needed to start handing out user's manuals for women to so many of our members here.

There is no users manual for women yet: Chaos Theory is still in it's infancy.

 

[rewebster]

How do you define contact? We've only had verbal contact on two occassions (I don't even know her name yet!) so maybe I need to stay on third base for more time before making the home run?

I'm more of a Dirac then an Einstein. Extremely reserved and impersonal but fundalmentally a good guy. Probably a trait more common in mathematicians.

First of all, I didn't mean to even imply that you can make an equation out of all of this. --'if you do this and then this---and then this--it will work'---that type of thinking doesn't work in starting a relationship or in a relationship.

It goes by more 'Probability and Chance'. When I saw you venture off and post on another thread, my first thought was that YOU are getting out of that little bubble that you THINK you are in---'external thinking'----(you're really not in a little bubble). It showed that you CAN be adventurous (to whatever degree that can be called adventurous).

You don't know anything about this woman (or she about you). She could be married, does not wear (or never has worn) a wedding ring, and could just be looking for some secret 'lab work' on the side. In other words, until you find out just a little more about her, you could have been and may be spinning your wheels 'over her' over nothing.

She could be even more of an introvert (perfect match up, maybe) than you, and she could be on another forum pouring her heart out about 'the guy that won't talk to me because he may think there's something wrong with me'. She could be chewing her fingers down to the first knuckle worried about 'what she could say'.

Just go in thinking that you do have all the 'knowledge' you need at this point in time ---it's like school---you actually never stop learning.

 

[theoritician]

Yep, that's the easiest way to initiate an introduction, "Hi, it seems we keep running into each other this way...my name is..." Most normal people will respond by telling you their name too. Then you can give some cheesy response like, "Oh, that's a really pretty name, it suits you." If she rolls her eyes and gets annoyed at the cheesy line, she's not that interested; if she kind of blushes or giggles, then she probably is interested and you can then ask her to do something together.

She kind of blushed when I waved (would that be included as contact?) to her the other day .

 

[theoritician]

she could be on another forum

She likes physics as well which makes me wonder if she is actually on this forum!

If you are please pm me or tell me. There would be some serious information asymmetry if you are.

 

[rewebster]

If you are please pm me or tell me.

I really hope that's your sense of humor coming through.

 

[Moonbear]

She kind of blushed when I waved (would that be included as contact?) to her the other day .

That's a good sign. Blushing indicates attracted interest. If she didn't think about you one way or another, she'd have just waved back, maybe looked a bit confused about why you waved wondering if you meant someone else, and there would have been no blushing type response. It may very well mean she's simply equally shy, but very interested, and waiting for you to make the first move.

 

[Evo]

She kind of blushed when I waved (would that be included as contact?) to her the other day .

Did she wave back? If she didn't wave back, the "blush" could be annoyance.

I thought it was decided about 150 posts ago that you should stop obsessing over this girl?

 

[EnumaElish]

She kind of blushed when I waved (would that be included as contact?) to her the other day .

That was contact: you were aware of her, she was aware of you, you were aware that she was aware, she was aware that you were aware, you were aware that she was aware that you were aware,... ad infinitum.

I think she was interested, but she may also have been annoyed because she had been expecting a more formal contact from you (e.g. "er, hello, my name is... What is your name?" or "Hi, I brought this cup of tea for you.")

 

[EnumaElish]

Evo--

This is off the thread, but... Why do I see "0" posts for theoritician?