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Would you date or marry a nonintellectual?

  1. Feb 2, 2015 #1
    Would you date or marry someone you couldn't have profound intellectual conversations with? I mean someone who is smart, a person who has common sense, but this person is not a genius and can't talk about profound intellectual subjects. Would you date or marry someone like this?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Feb 2, 2015 #2
    Is anyone dating you? :-p
     
  4. Feb 2, 2015 #3
    Yes -- and I did, however I do not think less of her. If you see yourself as "above" that person than you may never see them as an equal in the relationship (IMO THAT is necessary). Being an intellectual is akin to having a hobby, she has her interests and I have mine, and we share maybe 40%. As for dating how do you know until you date them?

    Best advice I got form my mother-in-law...."Go into marriage with both eyes open, and stay married with one eye closed."
     
  5. Feb 2, 2015 #4

    jim hardy

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    Popular lore on the subject abounds.
    Got Netflix?
    Movies
    "My Fair Lady"
    "The Apartment"
    "Born Yesterday"

    deal with men who thought themselves above ordinary women.

    the road less travelled
     
  6. Feb 2, 2015 #5

    StatGuy2000

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    I think the answer to this question would really depend on if the other person has enough common interests and things we can talk about to be interesting and fun to be with. If the other person and I can find enough things to be interested in and have a conversation, then sure, why not?
     
  7. Feb 2, 2015 #6

    SixNein

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    Absolutely

    I think there is a lot of ways for a person to sum up as an equal. Having some difference can even be quite refreshing and create balance. In addition, you can make friends who enjoy those types of conversations. For example, I have mathematician and computer scientist friends that enjoy these types of conversations.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2015
  8. Feb 2, 2015 #7

    SteamKing

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    Intellectuals aren't what they're always cracked up to be. They can be terrifically odd and tedious simultaneously. Newton was without a doubt one of the most brilliant men of his or any other time, but hardly a bon vivant. OTOH, John von Neumann was whip smart, scarily otherworldly in his grasp of difficult subjects, and quite the party animal.

    Life is more than intellectual pursuits. A well-rounded, well adjusted individual is more pleasant to be around socially.

    In any event, it helps if the other person is hot. ;)
     
  9. Feb 3, 2015 #8

    jim hardy

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    evo if this is off-topic feel free to delete


    been there, done that

    old jim
     
  10. Feb 3, 2015 #9

    Garth

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    It depends on whether you could find "someone like this" who is dumb enough to marry you. :-p

    I would marry someone you do love and will love. :)

    Garth
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2015
  11. Feb 4, 2015 #10
    Yes. Intellectual talks is not something I would seek in a relationship. Not dumb talk, but not intellectual either... just normal. Plus, people tend to adapt. I noticed people who spend time with me tend to copy me. So they will eventually learn from me and I will learn from them and there will be no problem having an intellectual conversation.

    I don't get it. Could you please explain those words in a more simple manner so I can understand what they mean? Thanks.
     
  12. Feb 4, 2015 #11
    If you define an "intellectual" as someone who can have an intelligent conversation with you, then no, I would not be with anyone who wasn't an intellectual.

    You must strictly define intellectual though, because I've encountered numerous people with various degrees that I could not have an intelligent conversation with. I've also encountered people with very little formal education that could dissect complex subjects rather impressively. That being said, some of the smartest people I know personally are engineers, and I get that feeling of childish euphoria when we really click on a subject.

    I know as a musician I want to play with someone slightly better than me, but not too much better. They usually will feel the same way, so it works out best if each of you are better at different things. Its the same with a relationship, I wouldn't want to be with someone who makes me look like an idiot, but I have no desire to make anyone else look like an idiot either.
     
  13. Feb 6, 2015 #12

    SixNein

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    Unless you are dating someone from within your own field of study, the person is probably going to know a lot more about some subjects than you. I think a major part of becoming educated is realizing how little you really know. Once you reach that point, the topic we are discussing seems rather silly.

    I recently dated someone who wasn't an intellectual or highly educated, and it was never an issue for me. I think people are confusing personal and professional lives here.
     
  14. Feb 6, 2015 #13

    Garth

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    I think they have gone; last contact with Honn was the evening of the OP.

    Garth
     
  15. Feb 6, 2015 #14
    I basically said this same thing and thought I made it clear intellectual doesn't mean educated.
     
  16. Feb 6, 2015 #15

    Ryan_m_b

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    The way you're describing it if someone had this standard they could perhaps date one in ten thousand people. Honestly if you're only going to date people classed as geniuses then you're not going to get a lot of dates. Everyone I have dated in my life has been intelligent and I've had many fulfilling relationships from that. I wouldn't describe many of them as "intellectuals" because I'm not entirely sure what one has to be to count as that. Some of them (like my current girlfriend) were academics like me which is interesting. Others weren't which was interesting in a different but equal way.
     
  17. Feb 6, 2015 #16

    Quantum Defect

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    Windadct: "Best advice I got form my mother-in-law...."Go into marriage with both eyes open, and stay married with one eye closed." "

    I would say, it is a cheeky way to say that you should conduct "due diligence" when picking a person to spend the rest of your life with, but afterward, you should strive to be a tolerant and forgiving spouse.
     
  18. Feb 6, 2015 #17
    There's a level of stupidity I'm simply not going to deal with regardless of hotness or anything else, and I find it hard to believe other people don't have a similar cut off even if it isn't strictly a black and white issue.

    This bar is way below genius, btw, but still significant enough to include a good amount of people.
     
  19. Feb 6, 2015 #18
    What in the world is a deep intellectual conversation? My wife is a doctor and, although I've learned a lot from her, I couldn't carry on a deep intellectual conversation about her work anymore than she understands what I do.
     
  20. Feb 6, 2015 #19

    Ryan_m_b

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    I think this is a key point. As it stands "deep intellectual conversation" smacks of elitism within a specific field.
     
  21. Feb 6, 2015 #20

    Quantum Defect

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    My wife and I both have PhDs. When we had our child and he was in diapers, there was a lot of talk in our house about poop, pee, etc. I think that real life is very "real." :)
     
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