Would you date or marry a nonintellectual?

[JLowe]

I don't think so. I think the only thing that brings common sense is having a hard life. I don't know too many people who had it easy that have this attribute. So maybe an intellectual with some damaged goods is the best way to go :)

This isn't true, I know plenty of people with hard lives that have zero common sense. In fact it's probably a big reason for their hard lives.

 

[JLowe]

In my opinion, I think everyone physically able should spend at least 2 years of their life in a blue collar job. Not a mindless assembly line job, but preferably a blue collar job that requires you to think, such as construction or drilling, etc.

 

[StatGuy2000]

In my opinion, I think everyone physically able should spend at least 2 years of their life in a blue collar job. Not a mindless assembly line job, but preferably a blue collar job that requires you to think, such as construction or drilling, etc.

Easier said than done, because most blue collar jobs of that sort require some form of post-secondary training or apprenticeship. That's a commitment of at least a year, more likely 2 years. The blue collar jobs that don't require such training are by their very nature mindless (e.g. mopping floors, assembly line work).

 

[JLowe]

Easier said than done, because most blue collar jobs of that sort require some form of post-secondary training or apprenticeship. That's a commitment of at least a year, more likely 2 years. The blue collar jobs that don't require such training are by their very nature mindless (e.g. mopping floors, assembly line work).

No, the primary reason training takes a while is because of the ridiculously high safety standards. You can literally take your basic 40 hour safety class though, and with no further training work at a lot of these jobs.

I'm an environmental driller, and day 1 one when I got hired I knew nothing about the field and required no special training beyond on the job experience. Of course it still takes years to master these fields, but my point is most of your training is basic safety, eg, basic common sense. There certainly exist blue collar jobs that do require a lot of special training though.

 

[jim hardy]

My question is how important intellectual compatibility is for you.

Realizing that i spend > 90% of my waking time
maintaining the yard, fixing the cars lawnmower dishwasher fridge washing machine chainsaw outboard motors household plumbing & so on;
carrying groceries in and trash out
handling the bills and the gargantuan paperwork load imposed by insurance industry
fielding calls from telematketers between calls from the kids
cutting wood for heat in winter and tending to the garden and grandkids in summer

It is far more important to me to have a spouse who recognizes the preposterous degree of overcomplication in life to which we have become accustomed
and who will be there with a sandwich and a kind word when i drag into the house exhausted soaked with sweat and covered in wood chips or automobile grease
and offers me a fresh towel after i shower...
than to have one who will instead query me about Kierkegaard and Kant .
Fair Anne threw herself wholeheartedly into raising healthy children and set the example for them as quintessential caretaker.
Now THAT is giving.

i'd say find out where you yourself fall on the scale between behavioral extremes of ascetic and overly accommodating
and look for partners who are similar by that criterion , not by their level of education .
because when a giver hooks up with a taker it leads to misery.

my two cents (again)old jim

 

[StatGuy2000]

No, the primary reason training takes a while is because of the ridiculously high safety standards. You can literally take your basic 40 hour safety class though, and with no further training work at a lot of these jobs.

I'm an environmental driller, and day 1 one when I got hired I knew nothing about the field and required no special training beyond on the job experience. Of course it still takes years to master these fields, but my point is most of your training is basic safety, eg, basic common sense. There certainly exist blue collar jobs that do require a lot of special training though.

At the risk of getting further off-topic, yes, a considerable portion of the training does involve safety training (given the nature of the jobs involved, one could argue that safety training is the most important training to take). One question I would have is just how much thinking does drilling involve. I would presume drillers think most carefully about where and when to drill.

But I will take your word for it that drilling involve considerable thinking, but that may be a special case. Consider an electrician, for example (one of the most sought-after blue collar job out there). One cannot become an electrician without going through at least 1 year post-secondary education at a community college plus an intensive apprenticeship program here in Ontario, Canada where I'm from. I don't think this is something that just everyone can get into. And this is far from an isolated example, as many other blue collar jobs have similar requirements.

 

[JLowe]

At the risk of getting further off-topic, yes, a considerable portion of the training does involve safety training (given the nature of the jobs involved, one could argue that safety training is the most important training to take). One question I would have is just how much thinking does drilling involve. I would presume drillers think most carefully about where and when to drill.

But I will take your word for it that drilling involve considerable thinking, but that may be a special case. Consider an electrician, for example (one of the most sought-after blue collar job out there). One cannot become an electrician without going through at least 1 year post-secondary education at a community college plus an intensive apprenticeship program here in Ontario, Canada where I'm from. I don't think this is something that just everyone can get into. And this is far from an isolated example, as many other blue collar jobs have similar requirements.

What I should point out, is that even though there exists drilling schools, welding schools, etc, companies will hire you whether you attend these schools or not. Mostly because they know that on the job experience trumps the school. Actually, welding may be a little different due the tremendous skill involved, but nonetheless, if you can prove you're a good welder, you need no schooling for most places that I know. A lot of fields require licenses, but depending on the state, your company's owner can have a license and have his employees work under it.

Yes, there are many blue collar jobs that require special training, but my point is that there are many that don't, and they aren't "mindless".

To answer your specific question about drilling(I can only speak to certain types of drilling), I'll have to say its a complicated answer. All I can say is that no one that I know on Earth is going to be a good driller without putting a lot of thought into it, and they certainly wouldn't master it otherwise. You can be taught these things on site though, and you need no special training. I'm not claiming its on par with rocket science now, so don't get me wrong.

 

[nuuskur]

Spend time with them, get to know them - can't decide fast.. well unless it's a a few nights' stand , in which case..who even cares?

 

[x86]

Date, yes. Marry? No. The family court system in my country has intrinsic hate and bias against men.

 

[Mark44]

I always have to catch myself before telling my friends I'm going to the potty :/

Unless the friends are from Boston...

 

[BobG]

Would you date or marry someone you couldn't have profound intellectual conversations with? I mean someone who is smart, a person who has common sense, but this person is not a genius and can't talk about profound intellectual subjects. Would you date or marry someone like this?

Maybe almost as important than what you're going to say to each other - can you restrain yourself from constantly correcting your partner?

She says: I think you should spend more time with the kids and I.

You say: Actually, it's "the kids and me". You should say "the kids and me".

She says: The kids and you?! What the heck are you talking about?! The kids are never with you!She says: I could care less.

You say: Actually, you mean you couldn't care less.
(Which means Evo will never marry.)She says: Light appears white because the Sun is emitting all colors of light equally.

You say: Actually, the Sun's emissions peak in the green range of wavelengths. The light appears white because of how our brain processes colors.

She says: Every time you open your mouth, another leprechaun dies.

You say: Actually, leprechauns aren't real.She says: I think we should take our vacation in Miami.

You say: Actually, I think you mean your ami.

She says: That's what I said! Miami!

You say: Just checking.She says: When I rang up $247 in groceries and realized I'd left my purse at home, I literally died, right there in the supermarket, of embarrassment!

You say: Actually, you're still alive and standing in our kitchen. I think you mean you figuratively died.

She says: One more word and you're dead, and, knowing you, that means you're virtually dead.

You say: What?It never ends well if you're constantly making your partner feel stupid.

 

[Evo]

She says: I could care less.

You say: Actually, you mean you couldn't care less.
(Which means Evo will never marry.)

LOL, I really can not stand it when someone says "I could care less", when they actually think they are saying they COULDN'T care less. AARRRGH! It's like dragging fingernails on a chalk board. But, we've had that thread, so let's not go there again.

 

[Lisa!]

It's like dragging fingernails on a chalk board. But, we've had that thread, so let's not go there again.

Please don't do/post that again!

 

[SixNein]

Please don't do/post that again!

Why? I could care less.

 

[QuantumCurt]

It depends on a lot of factors. Some of the more intellectual people out there can be incredibly abrasive. A lot of people have a smugness around their intelligence that really just sticks out. I rarely see this in non-intellectual type people. However, I think this is a rather blurred point. It's not as simple as saying "intellectual or not". Are we talking about the type of non-intellect that just isn't particularly interested in discussing a philosophy paper, or are we talking about a non-intellect in the sense of thinking Jesus was born in the United States and Earth is 6000 years old?

The former is perfectly okay with me. The latter? No so much.

 

[Lisa!]

Why? I could care less.

I also could care less! I have problem with dragging fingernails on a chalk board.

 

[Joshua McAnaney]

Without trying to sound condescending, as long as you can have somewhat intellectual conversations with them I see no issue. It can be a drawback when one person in a relationship is very much an intellectual, and the other is not, as conversations can be pretty limited, but as long as they can keep up with you then it's great. In fact, on the other hand, it's sometimes better, it helps to massage your ego :P

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

I originally typed up a few paragraphs on the nature of dating being conducive towards the discrediting of all manners and groupings of humanity, many based upon mere whimsy. Then I thought, "who cares."

Essentially, I say I'll only go for a blonde, and I'll get a playful "you're crazy! brunettes are way hotter!" and nothing more. I say I won't go for an intellectually stimulating SO, and I might find myself being accused of pedantry or solipsism, determining for myself who's intelligent enough to be with me, the same way everyone else unthinkingly determines for themselves who is attractive enough to be with them.

This isn't to say that I won't date a girl I don't find intellectually stimulating--that's what my labmates are for, and I'd rather stick to physics than dalliance with those fellows. However, I do find the distinction interesting. My girlfriend is more attractive than I am (but aren't the girls always), and not to mince words, I am more intelligent than my girlfriend. That doesn't mean that, when we meet up for the purpose of "napping," we won't instead get caught up in discussions of fate, or the death penalty, or any manner or aspect of politics and human nature.

But no matter what we discuss, she's a great conversationalist. That's what counts. If you find yourself unable to have an intelligent discussion with another person, before discounting them, consider first that perhaps your method of speech, your charm, your ability to entice another to discuss something with you, your abrasive or perhaps dismissive manner, is to blame, rather than idiocy on their part. I've yet to find a person I can't have a good conversation with, because we're all different and have wells of erudition dug in different lands.

This is all to say that humans are stupidly complex, and if you're such a buffoon as to disregard (so many 'd' words today: discredit, discount, disregard) another person upon one aspect of their wholeness, then maybe next time you wonder to yourself why you're alone, you can finally answer that.

 

[EverGreen1231]

Would you date or marry someone you couldn't have profound intellectual conversations with? I mean someone who is smart, a person who has common sense, but this person is not a genius and can't talk about profound intellectual subjects. Would you date or marry someone like this?

There's more to life than just intellectual pursuits. I would vastly prefer someone who is kind to others and who's first instinct is to smile when they make eye contact with a stranger, over someone who would could articulate beautifully on the latest findings in some distant region of Physics.

 

[Rainbow Rider]

I basically said this same thing and thought I made it clear intellectual doesn't mean educated.

I double like this post..

 

[YamunaVargr]

I would. I have friends with whom I can talk about weird intellectual stuff. As long as he's not an idiot, I don't mind. But I am starting to realize that there is a very noticeable difference in personality between people who enjoy learning and thinking, and those who never even cared to pay attention in high school. That division is a problem, sometimes.

 

[Alanay]

Would you date or marry someone you couldn't have profound intellectual conversations with? I mean someone who is smart, a person who has common sense, but this person is not a genius and can't talk about profound intellectual subjects. Would you date or marry someone like this?

I doubt many of you are geniuses so why should we discuss if we're able to date someone whom is not. It doesn't matter I get your question and my answer would be yes. You don't need to discuss things with them just because you're capable and a lot of people aren't. Also if you're so capable of talking about these hard to understand subjects you'd probably be able to educate them or simplify it so you and her/him could discuss.

I think a better question would be: Could you date/marry someone who is not interested in your interests of which you have dedicated so much time to? My question would still be yes. :P

 

[Stephanus]

Guys, girls, please.

I stumble here, because I read it's an interesting title, but... the OP has already left, but we keep arguing each other. I wonder where the OP now.
It's been 9 months and the OP never post a single post since then.
But when I were asked this question when I was still single, I would have answer Yes!

 

[Honn]

Many great answers here.. I'd not know how to put it well. My question was if you could date an intellectually simple person. Someone who doesn't have too many intellectual pursuits. Let's say someone who can't discuss too much about math, philosophy, physics, science etc..Someone who isn't a bookworm. A person who prefers talking mundane subjects like pop culture, movies, tv ,games..I am talking of a person of common sense, but intellectually simple.. How important is intellectual compatibility for you? Are you looking for intellectual stimulation in a partner? How much does it matter for you that a partner can hold an intellectual conversation?

 

[EverGreen1231]

Many great answers here.. I'd not know how to put it well. My question was if you could date an intellectually simple person. Someone who doesn't have too many intellectual pursuits. Let's say someone who can't discuss too much about math, philosophy, physics, science etc..Someone who isn't a bookworm. A person who prefers talking mundane subjects like pop culture, movies, tv ,games..I am talking of a person of common sense, but intellectually simple.. How important is intellectual compatibility for you? Are you looking for intellectual stimulation in a partner? How much does it matter for you that a partner can hold an intellectual conversation?

You should be able to talk with your partner. I would also caution against thinking someone 'intellectually simple' because they're not interested in mathematics, physics, or philosophy. The most intellectual people I know couldn't care less about any of those things.

 

[Rick21383]

You should be able to talk with your partner. I would also caution against thinking someone 'intellectually simple' because they're not interested in mathematics, physics, or philosophy. The most intellectual people I know couldn't care less about any of those things.

This.

There are many well adjusted, intelligent, people that are simply not interested in the topics that most on this forum seem to associate with intelligence. Granted, this is a Physics forum so it's no surprise... but I assure you there are people out there with far more intelligence than anyone on this board that couldn't care less about Math, Physics, or silly things such as "could care less" vs "couldn't care less".

The type of people that genuinely care about that last example just come off as "aspie" rather than intelligent.

 

[Silicon Waffle]

[...] such as "could care less" vs "couldn't care less".

The latter sounds more common.

The type of people that genuinely care about that last example just come off as "aspie" rather than intelligent.

I feel sorry for you; you might not be understanding or forget how bed-ridden nonintellectual people have actually felt while saying this.

 

[Rick21383]

you might not be understanding or forget how bed-ridden nonintellectual people have actually felt while saying this.

I have no clue what you're trying to say here but ok...

 

[EverGreen1231]

This.

There are many well adjusted, intelligent, people that are simply not interested in the topics that most on this forum seem to associate with intelligence. Granted, this is a Physics forum so it's no surprise... but I assure you there are people out there with far more intelligence than anyone on this board that couldn't care less about Math, Physics, or silly things such as "could care less" vs "couldn't care less".

The type of people that genuinely care about that last example just come off as "aspie" rather than intelligent.

As an aside, you should know that, in this case, "couldn't" is the right word to use. There's a significant difference between the two phrases and, unless you want to come across as unschooled, you should try not to confuse them. ;)

 

[Rick21383]

As an aside, you should know that, in this case, "couldn't" is the right word to use. There's a significant difference between the two phrases and, unless you want to come across as unschooled, you should try not to confuse them. ;)

No offense, but I'm well aware of the difference. My point is that it's a common idiom that has been used since the 50s. So, ironically, the people that apparently have an issue with that phrase and are constantly "correcting" it appear... not so intelligent. And, yes, extremely aspie.

Idioms are often NOT logical. The phrase "Head over heels" makes no sense. It used to be "Heels over head" which makes more logical sense but that version isn't used anymore, right?

This "argument" is like something they'd be squabbling over at Reddit.