Finding Solace in Favourite Quotes: Escaping Despair with Words of Wisdom

[quddusaliquddus]

Your Favourite Quotes?

What are your favourite quotes?

 

[quddusaliquddus]

Lol. This can only mean one thing - we can't forget The Godfather. :D

 

[ShawnD]

I didn't like that movie at all. Seemed like it went way too slow... sort of like Lord Of The Rings.

 

[quddusaliquddus]

Hmmm...I guess we all have our tastes... :D

 

[tribdog]

I taste salty

 

[Trogdor]

"sometimes I talk about tires and sometimes I talk about shopping carts"

 

[Trogdor]

Newton died an 84 year old virgin

 

[rathma]

?

And you know this why?

 

[jimmy p]

A good quote is from Maynard James Keenan.

"Today's woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a "real" man."

However one of my fav's has to be:

"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."

or this one from Robin Williams...

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

 

[The_Professional]

I like people, especially with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

 

[tribdog]

"Isn't that a bit excessive?" ~Vlaad the Impaler
"That's one small step for man..." ~Christopher Reeves

 

[Trogdor]

"Guess what! I got a fever! and the only prescription is more cowbell!" ~ Christopher Walkin (best actor ever) Blue Oyster Cult snl skit

 

[Chrono]

"Women, they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

"I am responsible for everything ... except for my very responsibility, for I am not the foundation of my being. Therefore everything takes place as if I were compelled to be responsible. I am abandoned in the world ... in the sense that I find myself suddenly alone and without help, engaged in a world for which I bear the whole responsibility without being able, whatever I do, to tear myself away from this responsibility for an instant."
- Sartre

"The undisturbed mind is like the calm body water reflecting the brilliance of the moon. Empty the mind and you will realize the undisturbed mind."
-Yagyu Jubei

"The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world."
-Lao Tzu


Good stuff, isn't it?

 

[Janitor]

"What this country needs is a good ten-cent cigar."
- Heinrich Himmler

 

[anvil]

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" - Tom Waits

 

[jimmy p]

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"Hockey is a sport for white men.
Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
-- Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b*tch."
-- Jack Nicholson

 

[Njorl]

"I would never belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member." Groucho

Richard Kimble:I didn't kill my wife!
Marshall Girard:I don't care.
from the movie "The Fugitive"

"You'll shoot your eye out." Multiple people in "A Christmas Story"

"But ... these go to eleven. That's one louder." - "Spinal Tap"

"Who remembers the Armenians?" - Hitler

"Just as sore eyes cannot stand light, and prefer darkness, so it is with the body politic in times of trouble and humiliation. " -Plutarch, Life of Phocion

Njorl

 

[jimmy p]

"Dogbert: If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Dilbert: But I'm allergic to citrus.
Dogbert: If life give you lemons, swell up and die."

 

[Kerrie]

A good quote is from Maynard James Keenan.

"Today's woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a "real" man."

However one of my fav's has to be:

"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."

or this one from Robin Williams...

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

love maynard's lyrics and Robin Williams is one of the most brilliant comedians ever.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~
Lily Tomlin

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~
Lily Tomlin

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. ~Frank Leahy

 

[quddusaliquddus]

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~
Lily Tomlin"

LOL ... never thought of it like that!

 

[Robert Zaleski]

When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"The future ain't what it use to be"

Both attributed to Yogi Berra

 

[motai]

Marge: "Bart! You can't tell God to kill Sideshow Bob!"
Homer: "Yeah, do you own dirty work!"

hehe

 

[Ebolamonk3y]

"[Alone] I like, at times, to hear The Ancient's word,
And have a care to be most civil:
It's really kind of such a noble Lord
So humanly to gossip with the Devil!" - Mephistopheles -- Faust

 

[tribdog]

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." ~Morpheus
"The body cannot live without the mind." ~Morpheus
"Guess who watched "The Matrix" last night?"~Tribdog

 

[RBS_5]

Never decide to buy something while listening to the salesman.

If there is an opportunity to make a mistake, sooner or later the mistake will be made.

Being sure mistakes will occur is a good frame of mind for catching them.

Check the answer you have worked out once more -- before you tell it to anybody.

When in doubt, mumble.
When in trouble, delegate.
When in charge, ponder.

~Murphy's Laws

 

[swansont]

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
Maj. Gen. John Sedgewick, killed by a sniper in 1864 at the battle of Spotsylvania

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that the English language is as pure as a crib-house whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
James D. Nicoll

English was a language invented by Norman invaders to pick up
Anglo-Saxon barmaids. It retains much of this character.


Only crackpots think the plural of anecdote is evidence

 

[Ivan Seeking]

How do you get a giant squid through a revolving door? - Lazo-Wasem, Zoologist

http://leisure.newstimes.com/story.php?id=65188

Now there's a problem that I never considered.

 

[The Bob]

'The only way to improve at something is to start from the beginning and work up again.'
- The Bob (unless anyone knows someone who said it first)

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[The_Professional]

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life - daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."

-Victor Frankl

 

[Gokul43201]

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us."
-Victor Frankl

Riddle : What came first, the Frankl or the JFK ?

They were contemp's, weren't they ?

 

[Janitor]

Said by a weary wife in Chicago:

Da Bulls. Da Bears. Da-vorce.

 

[Janitor]

Said by Coach Frank Kush after his placekicker missed a field goal that would have won the game:

He couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a handful of popcorn.

 

[Moonbear]

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns

I just came across this one recently and really thought it was great (George Burns was such a great comedian).

There are some more serious ones I'm fond of, but I'd have to look them up to get them right.

 

[Gokul43201]

This is all your fault, Moonbear.

Here's a few Woody Allen gems :

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him 'be fruitful, and multiply.' But not in those words.

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

 

[humanino]

BoulderHead, that is really outrageously gross

 

[Gokul43201]

Like I said before...

Now it's too late to stem the flow of crassitude.

 

[string_theory]

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns




I just came across this one recently and really thought it was great (George Burns was such a great comedian).

There are some more serious ones I'm fond of, but I'd have to look them up to get them right.

simply wonderful, thank you for bringing it here...

 

[Smurf]

"Ideas are far more powerfull than guns, we don't let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have Ideas"
-Josef Stalin

"Religion is the opiate of the masses."
-Karl Marx

"If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things as men."
-Plato

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Aristotle

"I am dying with the help of too many physicians."
-Alexander, King of Macedon.

 

[string_theory]

"Religion is the opiate of the masses."

this sucks...

 

[Smurf]

you suck...

 

[Gokul43201]

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners. - unknown

 

[string_theory]

you suck...

f... u

I did not say anything to u...

I said to what Marx said.

 

[Smurf]

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners. - unknown

I don't get that, weren't vacuum cleaners around before Microsoft??

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

I don't get that, weren't vacuum cleaners around before Microsoft??

he is saying that the vacuum won't suck up dirt and stuff, therefore it won't suck, nd it doesn't matter if microsoft was around before or after vacuums

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

here is one i like
"tread softly, for you are treading on my dreams"yeats

"some poeple don't see the light until it comes shining through bullet holes"

 

[BoulderHead]

BoulderHead, that is really outrageously gross

Yeah, after the drugs wore off I decided to delete the post...but, here's a couple more from the same animal;


I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks.
-Emo Phillips

I ran three miles today, finally I said "lady take your purse."
-Emo Phillips

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
-Emo Phillips

 

[jimmy p]

"I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Weggie Kray."

I like that one!

 

[Dagenais]

Here are a few I like from 2 favourite shows, I had quite a bit of trouble choosing:

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.


Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.


"I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum."
- George, in "The Parking Garage"


"So you feel 'women and children first' in this day and age is somewhat of an antiquated notion."
"To some degree."
"So, basically, it's every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves."
"In a manner of speaking."
"Well, that's honest."
"She should be commending me for treating everyone like equals."
"Well, perhaps when she's released from the burn center she'll see things more clearly."
- Jerry and George, in "The Fire"


"You don't know my name, do you?"
"Yes I do."
"What is it?"
"It, uh, rhymes with a female body part."
"What is it?"
"Mulva..."
- Dolores and Jerry, in "The Junior Mints"


"We only wake you up for the important meetings."
- Yankee exec, to George, in "The Comeback"

 

[Smurf]

You forgot:
Homer: If at first you don't succeed, cheat until caught, then lie.

 

[ShawnD]

Trying is the first step towards failing.